Accepting Your Way to Happiness
At the start of the year, I had a goal to blog once per week and host a self-work workshop monthly.
At first, everything was going according to plan. I’m sure it also helped that my momentum was high and my workload was light.
But then distraction after distraction hit...
First, my best friend from high school booked a spontaneous trip to visit me in Berlin. Directly after that, I flew to Marrakesh with three friends. Not a week later did my mom arrive for a visit. With her gone, I thought I would finally be able to focus on my goals once again. After playing catchup with client work yesterday, I finally felt like i had some room to breathe. Still, I know this feeling would be fleeting. In about a week, I’d be flying to the states to meet my new nephew and hang out with my 2 year old niece. I’ll be there for a full 2 weeks and will likely be distracted once again, this time by a tiny human tugging on my arm asking me to play cat/dog.
Whew. How the hell do people grow a business while also making time to enjoy life?
Up until last night I was being pretty hard on myself. I couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t doing enough to grow Self-work Workshops, a community of women who fancy self-empowerment and connecting with other likeminded lady warriors.
It’s a constant tug of war. Balancing client work, building my own projects, taking time to rest and reflect, socializing with my favorite humans, and practicing adequate self care.
I used to think that happiness came from finding the perfect balance between all of those things. But now I know that’s complete and utter BULLSHIT.
Because life is constantly in flux. If you wait for all of those things to be perfectly aligned, you’re likely going to be feel more disappointment than peace. True happiness is accepting what is and choosing to be joyful regardless.
While listening to Oprah’s SuperSoul conversation with Eckhart Tolle and chipping away at my Vincent Van Gogh Sunflowers puzzle last night, I had an epiphany.
I’M TIRED OF FEELING LIKE I’M NOT DOING ENOUGH.
I am my own worst enemy. I have no problem telling friends they are being too hard on themselves or explaining to my boyfriend the importance of quieting his negative self-critic, but when it comes to holding myself to the same standard, I find it much more challenging.
While I am a firm believer that I am the creator of my own experience, the only things I was creating by holding myself to such high standards were feelings of inadequacy, busy-ness, and exhaustion.
Good enough IS good enough.
Now that doesn’t mean I can just sit on the couch and let life happen to me. Quite the contrary. But I have to truly believe that things are working out for me and that any time I feel stressed, overworked, or inadequate, I am not aligned with my higher purpose anyway and therefore delaying my joy. These negative emotions are indicators that I need to take a step back and either 1/ change my perspective on the situation (for example, instead of calling these “things” distractions, call them “reasons for living”) OR 2/ take a much needed rest.
And if I happen to skip a week or two of blog posts, or I have to wait a month to host another workshop, the world will not fall apart. I will keep chugging along. I will keep practicing an attitude of gratitude. And who knows, other opportunities I was too busy to recognize before might just open up for me along the way.
We must never get so wrapped up in the end goal that we forget to invite joy in for a tea once in a while.