For the past few weeks, I have been spending time in Sedona, Arizona. 

I was supposed to be transitioning to a more transient lifestyle with my German partner but the travel ban prevented him from joining me from the beginning. And so I ventured into the red rocks solo. 

To say this place is magical would be doing it a disservice. It’s more than that. 

At a recent goddess, ecstatic dance night that ended with half the female-oriented participants strutting around the room topless, one of the women said she liked to refer to Sedona as SedoMa because of the nurturing embrace this city possesses. Known for its energetic healing vortexes, endless hiking trails and UFO sitings and I can see why - this place is very much out of this world and also a nice bubble to reground myself after a tumultuous last couple of years. 

I have no doubt that my nearly daily hikes, random animal sitings, and kismetic encounters have contributed to the healing process and have helped me rise above the collective pandemic related grief, the loss of my vivacious grandma Shirley, the dissolution of a toxic business partnership, the cutting ties with a dear friend due to growing in different directions, the abrupt ending to a lucrative client relationship, and the never-ending grieving of past iterations of self. It’s been a hell of a few years!

One day in particular, however, will likely stand out in my memory for years to come, for I felt the magic of Mama Sedona first hand. 

On my drive to a trailhead of an unfamiliar trail, an incredible song came on my Spotify weekly list.  It never ceases to amaze me how music can instantly transform me from being just another human in an aging meat suit to an ethereal goddess embodying joy and hope. “I think I’d like some more website clients,” I said out loud. I turned the music up louder and louder and cracked my windows down a bit. I know from previous experience that getting lost in music is both my superpower but also my kryptonite - especially when behind the wheel. But today felt different. I felt protected and inspired. Today was for me and so I let myself linger in the joy a little longer (not an easy task for a nervous Gemini sun and moon who is prone to pointing out dangers and acting accordingly).

I reached the trailhead and managed to park on the side of the busy street, unaware that this particular hike lacked a proper parking lot. 

The hike started out seemingly innocent. I slowly made my way up the mountain, stopping to take some selfies with the changing leaves and to pop a squat in the bushes. I encountered a few people coming down but was for the most part on my own. Once I reached the first apex of the afternoon, I stopped for lunch and dangled my legs off a peak. I felt alive in a way that only comes whilst eating an almond butter and jelly sandwich while dangling off a cliff.

I didn’t rest too long though, knowing that I still had to make my descent the other side of the mountain in order to reach the grand finale, the Vultee Arch, a natural bridge between two rocks carved by SedoMa herself. On my way to the arch, I spotted a tarantula crawling diagonally along the trail. I whipped out my phone and caught the hairy creature in action. I’m a big animal lover, even the creepy crawlies, and full-heartedly believe that they are often acting as messengers from the spirit world. I didn’t think much of this encounter but filed it away in my memory bank for later. I couldn’t wait to get home and google “tarantula animal totems”, but first, I had to keep keeping on. 

After another 45 minutes or so, I finally reached the base of the arch. At this point, I was unsure if I wanted to expend my precious energy on climbing yet another apex when I had so far to go back to the car so I asked a woman who suddenly appeared before me, “is it worth it?” Without hesitation, she muttered “absolutely.” And so I scattered my way to the top. 

And let me tell you, once I did reach this apex, I felt an excitement course through my veins. I lifted my arms over my head and waved down to the older couple sitting at the base of the mountain. They waved back. I was grinning from ear to ear. So THIS is what it feels like to be alive. 

Thinking I had had my fill of excitement and magic for the day I made my way down the arch, and back up the mountain. 
Before I tell you what came next, I must preface that I am a desert rat. I love the desert through and through, and need to return a few times a year to soak up her sun and breathe in her creosote soaked musk. But that being said, I am also deeply aware of her fierceness, the deadly critters that lurk in her shadows, the potency of her heat, the brutality of her spiky flora. As much love as I feel towards her, I also feel a deep respect often disguised as intimidation. Hiking alone in the desert is a beautiful, transformational experience, but it can also be damn scary at times. Which is why I do it - to push my growth edges and diminish the illusion of fear.

Sedona is classified as a semi-desert though - so for some reason, I haven’t felt this same trepidation. She has just enough trees and cool enough temperatures to make me feel safe. And so I must say my guard was unusually down on this magical day. 

And just as I made my final descent, along came a rattler. Yep, a rattlesnake. 

To see a rattlesnake in Sedona is extremely rare due to the cooler temperatures. In fact, just a few days prior I had been reading a book about hiking in Sedona and there was a brief section about snakes. The author wrote that his editor didn’t even want him to include a snake section in the book because he didn’t want the information to scare anyone because to see a rattlesnake was SO rare. He said in all the years he’d lived there, he’d never seen one. Not one.

And here was one just a few feet in front of me. A long, slithering serpent attempting, like me, to get home before dark. My heart stopped. Not only was he slithering towards the trail, the exact way I needed to go to get to my car, but I was still a good 45 minutes away from my car and there was no human being in sight. Turning back wasn’t an option as there was only one way up and one way down. And so I took out my phone and I documented the sliterhing serpent in front of me. 

The snake wasn’t alarmed, in fact I don’t even think they knew I was there. The rattle never rattled and it never appeared startled in any way. 

Eventually, the snake disappeared into the brush and was no longer visible. To make sure it wasn’t waiting to attack, I threw a rock in the opposite direction. If I could hear the snake startle, I would wait even longer. Fortunately, I didn’t hear anything. And so I booked it. I never flew down a mountain so fast. Nor did I ever want to be back in civilization, free from creepy crawlies, so bad. About halfway down, however, I see an older man slowly making his way down as well. Being the introvert that I am, normally I would say something polite to the stranger and keep moving forward. Today was not a normal day. “Oh my god, I have never been so happy to see another human being.” He looked confused. I explained the story to him and he assured me there weren’t any rattlesnakes around here. “I walk this trail all the time,” he said. After showing him my video, however, he backtracked. “Well, that’s a rattle snake!” “I KNOW!” I said.

I asked him if it was ok if I walked with him the rest of the way, “my heart just can’t take any more surprises”, I told him. He led and set the pace like wolves in a wolf pack do. We got to chatting and he mentioned that his wife was half German. And about ten minutes later, we met up with her and added yet another wolf to our wolf pack. 

Her name? Wolfee. 

Turns out Wolfee is an animal communicator who worked at the University of Arizona (my alma mater) and also as a wolf dog trainer before having a near-death experience. Since then, she’s been painting her experience and enjoying being in nature with her husband. Oh, and she needs a website for her art. 

SedoMa is magic, I tell ya.

For anyone who is wondering: 

Tarantula animal totem- the understanding of perfect timing, knowing that you have done the work and now you have to be patient to wait for the outcome, and using your sensitivity and intuitions to get where you want to go

Rattlesnake animal totem- transforming, symbolic dying and rebirthing, shedding old aspects of self or life situation and exchanging it for something more valuable