The Most Influential Book I've Ever Read
If someone asked me what has been the most influential book I’ve ever read, I would say, without a doubt, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book “draws on the long tradition of the Toltecs, an ancient, indigenous people of Mexico, to show you that we have been domesticated from childhood, how these internal, guiding rules hurt us and what we can do to break and replace them with a new set of agreements with ourselves.”
Why do I love it? Because the simplistic language makes it easy to grasp and apply to your life instantaneously. And its short length makes it easy to re-read every few years, which is exactly what I do. In fact, this easy-to-digest book was my first entry into the self-work genre and never ceases to shake me up when I read it.
A few days ago, I discovered that it was available as an audiobook on Youtube so I decided to listen to it for the umpteenth time (FYI - looks like it has since been removed, sadly.) Clocking in at just under 3 hours - I put it on when I was doing dishes or cleaning up around the house and before I knew it, was done with it in no time!
Below I will attempt to summarize the agreements as well as provide real-life examples. But if you have some time to kill in the doctor’s office, while you’re tidying up around the house or commuting to work, do yourself a favor and read (or listen) to it yourself.
A Brief Summary of The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
Your words cast spells. You can either be a good witch and bless yourself and those around you with your speech or you can be an evil witch and send out poison. Poison comes in all shapes and forms but includes insults, negative self-talk, condescension, gossip, and fear-based advice.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
Everything anyone ever does is about themselves. It’s never about you. When people cast evil spells in your direction it’s because they are grappling with their own demons. Subsequently, when people praise you, don’t take this personally either. Remember, it’s NEVER about you.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
In other words, don’t create stories in your head when you don’t have all the facts. When in doubt, ask questions to gain clarity on a situation, but be prepared to receive answers that don’t meet your expectations. And don’t take their answers personally, it’s not about you :)
4. Always do your best
Everyone’s best differs daily depending on how much sleep you’ve had, how much stress you’re under, or what the weather is like. Regardless of how you’re feeling today, if you do your best, you’ll never be disappointed in yourself which means you’ll always be on good terms with how you’re showing up in the world. And you’ll be less likely to cast evil spells, take things personally, and make assumptions.
Sounds easy, right? Unfortunately, it’s much harder to break generational cycles than it is to talk about them. But the awareness of your conditioning is the first step toward ending your relationship with fear and living a more heart-centered existence. And this book does a great job of holding your hand along the way.