Silliness is Best When Shared
A lot of you are taking yourselves too seriously.
Now don’t come for me. I have full authority to critique your seriousness because, um, I’ve been taking myself seriously on and off for 36.5 years.
Up until recently, I only let myself get really silly with a few select humans on the planet, mostly members of my family who are equally as silly as me, or my long-term partners. When I was in my 20s, I used to get really silly while obliterated. When that happened, everyone at the party had the pleasure of seeing me playfully twerk on top of the tables. At least I was a fun drunk and not a sad one, or worse, aggressive one. But since I’ve become mostly sober, it has been a challenge for me to express my silliness on the daily. Not to mention I currently live in Berlin, aka a silliless city. But wow, my ability to lighten a serious situation could be called a skill. Depending on the context it would also be considered rude and inappropriate but let’s assume that I know the difference. So, why don’t I express this side of myself more?
A good friend and sometimes lover calls any non-serious behavior I exude, trickster energy. When I recently visited him at his new flat he casually said the Cheshire Cat had entered the building. Though I claimed to be a new happier version of myself, one who was more composed than the last time we were together, he teased that I was still the same devilish trickster on the inside. Though he’d been smiling mischievously when he said it (who was the real Cheshire Cat here?) I naturally felt offended by his statement. But now I am realizing it’s not an insult unless I take it seriously. Therefore, I’d like to formally announce that I am officially relinquishing any offense I felt at that moment. Booyah!
Unfortunately, I have had a resting bitch face my whole life which makes others think I am more serious than I am and has probably contributed to everyone I’ve ever met perceiving me as a passive bitch, until they get to know the REAL me. But I assure you I am not one (exactly what a passive bitch would say, but let’s move on.) Sure I judge others - don’t we ALL - but I also spend a LOT of time, probably too much time, trying to figure out why the hell someone would behave such a way, neglect? abandonment? or my new favorite excuse, on the spectrum? In fact, one might argue (me, I’m the one that would argue) that I could probably use a little more discernment and give a little less grace to anyone and everyone in my life. So not only am I NOT a passive bitch, but my ability to overlook and excuse sometimes toxic behaviors is at the Mother Teresa level. That should be celebrated not reprimanded.
So, much to the chagrin of my sometimes lover, I’d like to announce that I will be expressing my silliness MORE from this day forward. This means I’ll need to evaluate when it’s easiest for me to feel the most lighthearted.
Like many of you, I find myself smiling more and feeling more playful when I’m in a sunny place, moving my body, around cute animals, well rested, and when not dealing with anything bureaucratic or matrixy. Sounds like the formula for a perfect life. Well, it’s one I am currently in the process of attaining more permanently. But sometimes it’s hard, I admit, because I am not a hermit who just wants to shut herself out of society, live entirely off-grid, and occasionally come out of hibernation to brush up against another human. Why? Because silliness is best when shared. And so I must learn how to walk the tightrope. I must learn how to make light of the darkest scenarios but take myself and the identities I have constructed seriously enough so that I don’t offend anyone I love, or worse, get locked up in a looney bin or prison.
I was recently slinging all my belongings at a flea market in hopes of earning enough money to outfit my new-to-me minivan with a portable stove top. I would soon leave the silliless city in search of more zany sparring partners, folks who weren’t bogged down by rent, gray weather, and bland vegetables. I put out a box labeled “Name your price” thinking people would give me pennies for things that I likely found on the street or didn’t care about anymore. The opposite happened. Most everyone gave me MORE than I would have ever asked for such items. But, some refused to play my game at all. They’d ask how much an item was and I’d say playfully, ‘Well, how much do you want to pay?” One person I said this to just looked utterly distraught, “Oh I don’t want to do this, I never know what to say.” “Come on,” I cajoled, “play with me.” Not only did he NOT play with me, he put the item down and walked away. I literally would have given him that striped zebra onesie he had in his hand for a buck had he joined in on the game, but….he didn’t want to play.
So here it comes, the moral of the story, are you ready for it? Lighten your mood, get weird, and play ALL the games. No one is too old to play and no one is too cool to haggle for a rainbow-colored zebra onesie. We are all currently trapped in one matrix or another, so you might as well have a little fun in the process (as long as it’s not at anyone else’s expense, of course.)
Let the games begin!