2 Surprising Ways to Defeat Decision Paralysis & Internet Trolls
Grumpy Nicole or Discerning Beast Emerging from the Cave to Solve All Your Problems?
Yesterday, I woke up, checked my laptop for notifications, and saw that an internet troll had claimed my van listing was a scam. I clapped back in true troll fashion, and then the post vanished.
I didn’t think I’d broken any rules in the van life Facebook group, so naturally, I was pissed that the post disappeared and I’d wasted my time.
And then I was pissed that I let that guy ruffle my feathers.
I left the group (out of spite) and decided right then and then to take matters into my own hands.
The van sale had been taking up a lot of headspace, mainly because it prevented me from planning my next step, buying an expensive plane ticket home, deregistering myself from Germany, canceling my expensive German health insurance, and closing my EU chapter for good. Basically, everything was dependent on when I sold the van.
Instead of relying on the flakiness of the internet to determine my fate, I decided then and there to take Jean Genie to a scrap yard for end-of-life vehicles…when the time was convenient for me.
I felt a huge relief wash over me.
The 1st Way to Defeat Decision Paralysis - Claim Back Your Main Character Energy
I took the dog I was watching out for a walk, put on a 2000s alternative playlist, and quickly sank into “main character “energy as the soundtrack to my adolescence canceled out all the other noise around me. I strutted in a way that only angsty pop punk can evoke and intentionally avoided eye contact or awkward smiles with passersby like a main character on a mission would obviously do.
The 2nd Way to Defeat Decision Paralysis - Enlist the Help of PMS
Maybe it had to do with the fact that I’m premenstrual - a time when women have historically been categorized as crazy, emotional, and easily ruffled. After tracking my menstrual cycle for a few years, I’ve realized that this is actually a time when I become very discerning.
I am a diplomat most of the month. My Gemini sun and moon make me a great mediator. I can see all sides and the middle point. That means I am adept at making fair and efficient decisions for all.
Sometimes, though, it means I experience decision paralysis until I receive more information. This paralysis can last YEARS if I am not careful. HA!
But when I’m pre-menstrual, all that diplomatic BS goes out the window, and I zone in on exactly what needs to change.
I am laser-focused on what isn’t working, and I can see exactly how to get rid of the virus.
In my twenties and early thirties, this caused a lot of anxiety and sleepless nights.
I’d be lying in bed with someone who had been fun company two days ago, and now I’d be questioning how they responded to my bid earlier, why they didn’t prioritize their mental health, and how their comments were borderline emotionally abusive.
Instead of listening to these doubts, I would push them down, bury them, and pull the wool over my eyes. Out of sight, out of mind.
In other words, I’d gaslight myself, HARD.
Now, though, in my late thirties, I am much more appreciative of this discerning beast that emerges for just a few days every month.
I respect her wisdom and her confidence.
I give her space to evaluate and calculate.
I ask her what actions needed to be taken to implement this plan efficiently and easily.
And then I get to work.
Any anxiety I may have felt about an upcoming decision quickly dissolves because now I’ve got a literal boss at the helm.
And how grateful I am that I am her and she is me. I’m scared for any internet trolls who happen to cross my path during this time, though. LOL.