👓🌹Need to Borrow My Rose-Tinted Glasses?
I’ve been a member of Arlan’s All Access for over a month now, and it’s already been a transformative experience. One of the most impactful exercises so far has been defining my UVP—Unique Value Proposition. To land on my UVP, I had to ask several people a series of five questions, take note of any patterns, and identify what truly stands out about me.
Here’s how it went.
The Process
I asked a few people from different parts of my life: my mom, one of my oldest friends, one of my newest friends, and a couple of class members. Their answers were supposed to help me shape my potential future offerings.
The Questions (in case you want to poll the people in your life!!)
What are the top 3 skills or talents you think I’m best at? Why do you think so?
When have you seen me excel at something that seemed challenging? What skill did I use?
What activities or topics do you think I’m most passionate about? Why do you think those interest me?
If you had to guess, what could you see me doing all day without getting bored? Why?
Can you think of a time when I made a big impact on a project or situation? What did I do that was special?
The Answers
The responses were eye-opening. A common theme emerged: some people see me as someone who can make things happen, as if by magic. They said that when I set my mind to something, it just works out.
But here’s the catch—it’s not magic. I am guessing this perception stems from the fact that I don’t often share my struggles or failures. And believe me, I’ve had plenty of them.
This realization led me to a conclusion: my vulnerabilities are my strengths. My failures are proof that I’ve been through it. So today, I’m sharing some of my biggest failures—or as I like to call them, pivots—to show you how they’ve positively shaped me.
My Biggest “Failures” (and Why They Aren’t Failures)
Freelancing Out of Desperation
After graduating from college, I couldn’t land a corporate job, so I started freelancing just to pay my rent. At the time, it felt like a failure—like I wasn’t good enough for a “real” job. But freelancing turned out to be a happy accident. It gave me a taste of freedom, the freedom to build a life on my own terms outside of the status quo. Now I help others monetize their magic and build a life they don’t have to escape from.
2. Leaving Berlin After Nine Years
I left Berlin early this year after a breakup, unable to find affordable housing. On top of that, the German bureaucracy constantly reminded me that I didn’t truly belong. So, I bought a van. At first, it felt like I was giving up—but it turned out to be the beginning of an entirely new adventure, one that aligned more deeply with my values.
3. Failed Relationships
I’ve had several failed relationships over the years, both romantic and platonic. At the time, I would’ve done anything to keep them. But I am grateful I dared to let them go because while each one imparted valuable lessons they also redefined my expectations for future connections. In many cases, I had been selling myself short on what it meant to be truly seen, uplifted, and adored.
4. Walking Away from a Nonprofit I Co-Founded
At the beginning of Covid hell, I was helping co-found a nonprofit, but a few months in, I made the painful decision to walk away because I was nearing burnout and a Menty B. At the time, it felt like abandoning something important. In hindsight, it was a necessary step to protect my well-being and recognize my need for Time Freedom and Flexibility. It also helped me to realize that my worth wasn’t tied to my output but was inherent to my being.
5. Not Yet Achieving My Monetary Goals
Financial success is often seen as the ultimate benchmark. But over the years, I’ve learned to redefine success on my terms. In the past year, for example, I’ve woken up in stunning homes while housesitting or perched on Portuguese cliffs overlooking the Atlantic during my van life adventures. These luxurious experiences didn’t cost a dime—just creativity and resourcefulness. Though I don’t have millions in my bank account, far from it, I am the proud owner of one of the most precious assets known to man - time freedom. And I don’t plan on letting it slip away any time soon.
6. A Failed Publishing Deal
This past year, a desert animal oracle card project I poured my heart into fell through after my editor resigned. After so many years of being a shy behind-the-scenes writer, my publishing deal served as the creative validation I had craved for decades. So when it fell through, I was devastated. But it taught me a very valuable lesson - that any outside validation is fleeting. The only person who could truly validate my creative endeavors was me. If I deemed my ideas worthy to be seen, that was enough
And the list goes on. Though my life may seem adventurous and full of love and light, there have been plenty of lows along the way.
Why Vulnerability Is My Superpower
I typically avoid sharing these failures because I don’t want to be another black cloud on a seemingly dismal planet, I am also a firm believer that “where your attention goes, energy flows.” But as I’ve zoned in on my UVP, I’ve realized that sharing my struggles can help others overcome their own struggles - so I should share them more!
I can say, “Hey, I spent many years of my life worried about not having enough money. Let me help you discover your unique gifts, monetize your magic, and create a business that feels like freedom - like I did.” Or, “I used to cry in the car before walking into my desk job, I’ll show you how to exit the matrix, align your work with your soul, and build a life you don’t want to escape from.”
From Humble Beginnings
I’m living a life I truly love—not because I stumbled across a magic lamp or had a genie grant me three wishes. It’s because I’ve learned how to pivot when life has other plans for me and refused to let tough circumstances define me.
I didn’t grow up with privilege. Raised by a single mom, I know what it’s like to wear Payless shoes when all the cool kids had Nikes and to rock a mushroom haircut (courtesy of Supercuts) because we couldn’t afford the fancy boutique salon in town.
As I got older, life didn’t magically get easier. Like every person reading this, I’ve faced my fair share of heartbreak, betrayal, imposter syndrome, and fear of judgment. I used to drink too much to quiet my insecurities and spent more nights lying awake with racing thoughts than I’d like to admit.
But every one of those experiences taught me something. They made me stronger, more resourceful, and more compassionate. And that’s what drives me to help others create lives that feel like freedom—lives that reflect who they are at their core.
What’s Your UVP?
If you are feeling stuck right now, it doesn’t mean you have to stay there. You can take steps today to shift your perspective and begin to lay the foundation for a life that feels more fulfilling.
While the transformation won’t happen overnight, your journey outside the matrix begins with the first step - defining your UVP. Email me so we can schedule a chat, no cost to you. I’ll ask you a few questions to help you recognize your unique talents and give you ideas on how you can monetize your magic. Together, we can take that first step toward building a life you’re excited to wake up to. I’m all ears…
