The Pains (and Perks) of Being a Solo Worker
This past Monday, Squarespace invited all of their Berlin-based Circle members to a happy hour in order to meet each other as well as some of their visiting Squarespace executives including the International Marketing Director. It was a casual affair in a hotel lobby, drinks were flowing and light snacks were too. We each introduced ourselves and shared how long we’d been working with the platform/living in Berlin. Some of us griped about the weather (ahem, me) and how Berlin had changed in the last 8.5 years, but overall it was a pleasant atmosphere.
What stood out to me most was the fact that in the 10+ years, I have been slinging websites, I never actually thought about the fact that there were others out there like me. Folks who didn’t have co-workers to chit-chat with around the water cooler or complain about the boss’s bad attitude. Folks who had to raise their own rates, and set their own goals for the year because if they didn’t no one else would. Folks who sometimes got lonely, especially on a cold winter day, when they didn’t interact with anyone else except maybe the postman dropping off a package for their neighbor (who was probably out at happy hour with his co-workers.)
Working remotely certainly has its perks. I can click clack away anywhere there is internet. If I have a travel week planned, I can rearrange my schedule to accommodate. I don’t have annoying co-workers or have to stay late because the boss is on a power trip.
But, what I realized on Monday, was that I do miss out on the ability to brainstorm, to collaborate, to commiserate, and to joke around with others, others who also happen to understand the benefits (and pains) of working primarily alone.
I am SUPER grateful for Squarespace. I was first introduced to the platform while living in LA in 2011 by a mentor, someone who had been experimenting with building sites for clients. He told me I should try it as well, and I did. My first site was for a future RV park in the middle of the Arizona desert. I never in a million years would have guessed that I’d still be working with the platform 13 years later. But wow am I so thankful for the opportunity. And equally thankful that the company is starting to make it easier to network and connect with other designers locally and globally.
Upon leaving the event, I asked one of the executives if it would be possible to meet more regularly with the Berlin-based designers because I’d been having so much fun. She said, “Sure, let me see who is the lead of your division and you can ask them to set up a WhatsApp group.” After she scrolled through her phone she announced, “Nicole Paulus is the lead, you can contact her.”
“That’s me,” I laughed. I knew that I was a rep for Squarespace. For the past few months, I have been helping them lead events and getting paid to do so. But it hadn’t dawned on me that I also had the power to build a little community of designers in Berlin. So that’s what I am going to do. I just wish I would have thought of this years ago. Why?
Because 1/ it probably would have saved me a LOT of moments of self-doubt and loneliness. And 2/ because I will be leaving Berlin soon, likely for good. Luckily, though, my fellow remote workers won’t hold it against me - because they’ll likely be off on their own adventures soon enough.
Do you work solo? What are some of the benefits and downsides of doing so? Is there a way you can build a little community of solo workers to reap some of the benefits of a matrix job?
Growing Up Isn't Always a Bad Thing
I think I might be growing up.
I know what you are thinking, “NICOLE! DON’T DO IT! IT’S A TRAP!”
Don’t worry, I am still the biggest kid you will ever meet. I don’t think I’ll ever stop making immature jokes, playing hide and go seek with my roommates, or having mid-afternoon dance parties complete with wigs and costumes. I am a giant kid and I don’t intend on losing my idiocy any time soon (no matter many times I shimmy around the sun.)
I say I am “growing up” because recently my best friend shared an article, featuring one of our former high school classmates, Jodie Wu. The article documented Wu's incredible entrepreneurial journey. Not only was she named a TEDGlobal Fellow she was also recognized as one of Bloomberg Business Week’s America’s Most Promising Entrepreneurs. Did I mention she also made Forbes’ list of 30 under 30?
For the longest time I compared myself to others. I used to think:
- “What about me?”
- “Why can’t I make things happen like that?”
- “When will good things happen to me?”
Perhaps it was my competitive nature, or perhaps it was a result of not feeling comfortable with the path I was on. Regardless of my past transgressions, after I read this article, I didn’t feel jealous, bitter, competitive, enraged, sad, or depressed.
You know what I did feel? Happy for her for finding her passion. Proud that she had the gumption to carve out a path for herself. Impressed that she had the tenacity to follow her dreams.
Just because I will probably never invent a machine that will deliver fresh squeezed orange juice to astronauts on Mars, or sail around the world on a yacht given to me by a patient whose head I saved from being amputated, or headline a sold out ambient noise music festival in New Zealand doesn’t mean my journey is any less amazing. Everyone has a different path and the only person you should be competing with is YOURSELF. If you aren’t happy with the way things are going in your life or if you find yourself feeling jealous of others’ success then maybe you need to do some self-reflecting and re-directing.
I am finally living a life I am proud of. I am traveling the world, learning a new culture, growing my business through referrals, becoming a better friend, opening my heart to new possibilities, shedding self-doubt, living life selflessly, taking time to appreciate those I care about, challenging myself, allowing myself to really feel my feelings (whether it be joy, sadness, anger, or elation), making to do lists and celebrating when things get crossed out, treating others with compassion and empathy, giving compliments freely, fueling my body with (mostly) healthy food (but not feeling guilty if I want to eat a damn french fry), working out to get stronger (not thinner), dancing with my hands high above my head, and waking up each morning with a huge smile on my face (ok that doesn't really happen, but none of us is perfect.)
Don’t compare yourself to others. No one has the same exact magic swirling inside of you. Have confidence that you are on the right path (and if you aren’t on the right path, pay attention to that gut of yours, it will never lead you astray.) Let's practice lifting each other up, focusing on the positive, giving each other praise and being kind to each other and ourselves. Way to go Jodie!
Relaxation Guilt is a Real Thing
Any other entrepreneurs out there ever suffer from Relaxation Guilt? You know, the feeling you get when you try to relax but you just end up thinking about the thousand things you should be doing instead?
This Halloweekend I did absolutely nothing productive. I should feel refreshed and recharged but procrastination is not the way I handle stress, in fact it makes it worse. The best way for me to deal with a mile long to-do list is to start chipping away at it--and here I spent an entire weekend doing nothing but catching up with friends and wearing glitter, a lot of glitter.
Friday night I went out with friends as "it's my party and I'll cry of I want to." Saturday I caught up with an old friend during the day and went to a haunted house with another old friend at night. Sunday was carved out for my productive day but all I did was play bag toss, drink beer, and go see the new "Fury" movie--which by the way, wasn't that great (which made my guilt even heavier.)
Now don't get me wrong, I had a blast. Some might say this is the only thing that matters--but for me it's all about balance. I'd much rather get up a little early on the weekend, knock out a few tasks, and then be free to play the rest of the day. Juggling a 40 hr work week job and a handful of clients has taught me that I need to make every second count. I won't be able to relax until I do.
You aren't always going to get it right, but if you're smart you'll learn from these moments, and find a balance that allows you to have fun with friends and also kick ass with your clients. Follow me on these networks and share your tips and experiences.