Let's Talk About Mental Health
Let’s talk about mental health.
What happened in your body when you read those words? Did you roll your eyes? Or perhaps you let out a “YAAASSS GURRRLL, PREACH!!”
However you reacted, I hope you’ll keep reading for a while so I can share my own mental health journey with you. Why would I want to do such a thing? Because I think now more than ever before, mental health needs to be TALKED ABOUT OPENLY. When you are amidst your own mental health struggles it’s easy to feel like you are the only one who ever felt that way before, thus causing you to retreat even further into yourself. But that is simply not the case. If you are a human with emotions, it’s likely you’ve experienced ups and downs thus far.
So let’s talk about it!!
Two weeks ago I began seeing a therapist. This wasn’t my first time venturing into therapy. A few years ago, when the nonprofit I was co-founding was unraveling at the seams, a dear friendship was dissolving and Corona seemed to be getting more ugly every day, I sought out help from a Psychotherapist/Energy Healer. Her unique approach intrigued me probably because of my deep-rooted spiritual beliefs and understanding that trauma occurs on the somatic level and must therefore be healed there as well. We immediately hit it off and I felt safe and seen if only for an hour at a time every week. We would spend the first half of the session in a talk therapy-like format and she’d end the session working moving that energy through my body. I’d lay on a massage table and she’d apply pressure to certain organs while also asking me questions about my past. The instant relief I experienced was nothing short of a miracle. At the time I was so tightly wound up and riddled with anxiety that I was rarely able to find relief, not even in sleep (I wasn’t sleeping much.)
The peace I experienced after a session lasted a few hours but was worth every penny. The downside? Every session cost me a lot of pennies. At 80 euros a session I wasn’t able to justify continuing after a few weeks. The financial burden was a HUGE reason I hadn’t ever entered therapy before (I’m guessing it’s the same for a lot of folks.)
For those of you who don’t know, I live in Germany and qualify for public health insurance. That means I pay a fee every month and my access to doctors, checkups, and emergency rooms are all included. While there are problems with the system (like long wait times to see a specialist), I would never complain. There is an internal safety that results when you know you can go to the doctor, without incurring extra costs, when you are ill or experience an injury. In fact, it’s one of the reasons I don’t think I’ll ever like in the US permanently again. Mental health though is still highly stigmatized.
Unlike in the US, if you are diagnosed with a mental illness in Germany, that diagnosis can be used against you in the future should you ever want to enter certain professions such as politics, health professionals, or social workers. It can also prevent you from being insured with certain companies should you want to switch health insurance providers.
Yep - that means you have to think twice about using Public Health Insurance to pay for your therapy or mental health treatment. Instead, you should plan on paying it privately - that way there will be no public record. I am assuming that this potentiality prevents a lot of folks who need help from seeking help. It did not prevent me, however.
When my health insurance provider announced they’d be teaming up with MindDoc, an online platform that connects you to therapists virtually, I didn’t hesitate to sign up. First, though, I had to schedule an evaluation with a therapist in person to see if I would qualify for therapy. Silly me thought I would have to “pretend” to be crazy in order to get approved. Turns out, I was only in the office 5 minutes before tears started streaming down my face. You see, I was currently at a crossroads in my life, continuously debating whether or not I wanted children, where I wanted to live, what I wanted to be doing with my life, and what I wanted my future to look like. To be honest, I felt SO much relief just opening up in that office for the consultation. I walked out of there feeling lighter and empowered. There is something to be said about sharing such private information with a non-biased individual who makes an effort to “see” you.
And so, they approved me instantly. I had to wait another few months before I would be matched with an English-speaking therapist, however.
Two weeks into my therapy journey, and I must say - so far so good. My therapist is kind and a good listener. Her approach is cognitive-behavioral but we haven’t really gotten into any of that yet. I am still filling her in on my journey. I look forward to our meetings though because I feel like I have someone on my team who is going to help me organize my feelings instead of getting overwhelmed by them.
I am eternally grateful that my therapy is essentially free and recognize that this is a HUGE privilege that not everyone has access to. I also recognize that traditional modalities of therapy aren’t for everyone, especially those who have experienced intense traumas. Sometimes talk therapy can re-trigger the person as if they are experiencing the trauma firsthand. For that, you’d need someone who was trained in somatic healing as well. Still, though, I felt compelled to share my experience (and will continue to do so) in case anyone is on the fence or feels shameful about embarking on a mental health journey. I want to help end the stigma around asking for help!
And if you don’t click with your therapist or the modality, don’t give up. Keep searching. There is 100% someone out there who has gone through similar circumstances and has overcome them.
To close out, I wanted to share that I recently interviewed Howard Behar, the former president of Starbucks, for the Transparent Voices interview series I am organizing for a client. In the interview, I asked him to focus on one rock bottom moment in his career, in the hopes of inspiring other entrepreneurs to keep moving forward despite their struggles. Instead of him discussing a financial difficulty or conflict with a colleague, Howard mentioned mental health. I was shocked. In all the years, I’ve known him, I’ve never heard him open up about this topic. He went on to explain that when he retired from Starbucks, he went through a depressive period where he was even thinking about ending his life. Once he said those words, I got chills down my arms. This interview could help so many people who are struggling to get help. If a former top executive of one of the biggest corporations in the world can struggle with depression and anxiety - and seek out help, then anyone else in the world could too. Stay tuned for the interview, but until then know this, you are not alone. There are others currently struggling with the same issue you have as well as those who have gotten support and have overcome the struggle. ASK FOR HELP!