A Little Play Goes A Long Way
On the 2019 vision collage I made a few weeks ago, I cut out a picture of two kids swinging, their heads flung back, laughter escaping their tiny lungs. This picture was not only supposed to be a reminder for me to hop on a swing whenever possible (am I the only one who thinks there is something so delightful yet also slightly terrifying about letting your body fly through the air) but the image was also supposed to serve as a reminder for me to PLAY as much as possible this year.
As children, we instinctively know when to play, when to let our imagination flow, and when to draw outside the lines. We naturally follow our curiosities. We can do this because we have complete and total trust that all of our needs will be fulfilled (by our parents). Somewhere along the way, however, we lose this ability to trust our curiosities. Perhaps we get introduced to trauma, a lover disappoints us, or someone we hold in high esteem diminishes our worth. Little by little our trust is chipped away and we build up a large fortress of protection goes up in its place. Until of course, we have kids of our own…
It’s my belief that one of the reasons people have kids (and keep adding more to the family) is because kids encourage them to play, which makes them feel A L I V E. They are suddenly immersed into a land of make-believe, building a fort out of blankets or pretending the living room floor is lava.
But I’m here to tell you…you don’t have to have kids to give yourself permission to be a big, silly goofball. You can absolutely start today.
The past week and the last few days, I’ve been feeling the urge to play, laugh, and just be silly. But….life always seems to get in the way. Disappointed that I had to attend a Skype meeting with a client instead of meet with friends for a workout in the park, I texted them in the group chat, “I wish I could meet you guys tonight, but I’ve got a meeting. I’m trying to be grateful and positive about this opportunity but I am having a hard time. I’m really feeling like I need to have fun today.”
The reason I was having a hard time is because I felt that work was interfering with my playtime. Frustration and disappointment were the feelings that followed and no tools in my toolbox seemed to be helping.
I tried listing off things I was grateful for.
I tried venting about it with friends.
I even went for a run hoping it shake off this icky feeling I had.
That’s when I came across a swing set on my way home. It’s not the first time I’ve swung by myself, though I’m fully aware of how “odd” it may appear to others. To my surprise, no one looked twice. Either their eyes were focused on the screen in front of them or they were lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly a mom and her toddler walked by. The toddler immediately turned her head and smiled at me. In just a few seconds, she had convinced her mom to put her on the swing next to me.
And there we swung. Side by side. The cool air on our skin. The sinking of our bellies. Our hands gripping the metal.
It doesn’t surprise me that the toddler felt a calling to jump on that swing. She followed her curiosity. Would an adult have done the same? Likely not. They probably would have rationalized that they are too old for such behavior, that they would possibly hurt themselves, or that they should probably just get to wherever they are going.
I’m not saying the next few minutes of swinging completely snapped me out of the funk I was in, but it certainly helped me sneak away from my own pity party, just long enough that I could fill my lungs with the joy of life instead.
No matter how much self-work you do, there will be days you just can’t seem to get yourself out of a funk. You may be irritable, frustrated, emotional or feisty. No amount of positive affirmations, essential oils, or Oprah podcasts will seem to help. Though I can’t speak for all of you, I can certainly speak for myself — on days like these, a little play goes a long way.
Relaxation Guilt is a Real Thing
Any other entrepreneurs out there ever suffer from Relaxation Guilt? You know, the feeling you get when you try to relax but you just end up thinking about the thousand things you should be doing instead?
This Halloweekend I did absolutely nothing productive. I should feel refreshed and recharged but procrastination is not the way I handle stress, in fact it makes it worse. The best way for me to deal with a mile long to-do list is to start chipping away at it--and here I spent an entire weekend doing nothing but catching up with friends and wearing glitter, a lot of glitter.
Friday night I went out with friends as "it's my party and I'll cry of I want to." Saturday I caught up with an old friend during the day and went to a haunted house with another old friend at night. Sunday was carved out for my productive day but all I did was play bag toss, drink beer, and go see the new "Fury" movie--which by the way, wasn't that great (which made my guilt even heavier.)
Now don't get me wrong, I had a blast. Some might say this is the only thing that matters--but for me it's all about balance. I'd much rather get up a little early on the weekend, knock out a few tasks, and then be free to play the rest of the day. Juggling a 40 hr work week job and a handful of clients has taught me that I need to make every second count. I won't be able to relax until I do.
You aren't always going to get it right, but if you're smart you'll learn from these moments, and find a balance that allows you to have fun with friends and also kick ass with your clients. Follow me on these networks and share your tips and experiences.