A Few Book Recommendations...
Lately, I’ve been striking gold in the book department. Because I’m no gatekeeper, I wanted to share the titles as well as the insights I’ve gained as a result of devouring them. Let me know in the comments below if you’ve read any of these books - and how you found them!
1. When the Body Says No - The Hidden Cost of Stress by Gabor Mate
I am familiar with Mate’s work on studying individuals impacted by addiction but I had yet to dive into his other topics of expertise. And I must say…wow. This book does a great job of presenting various diseases or afflictions and connecting them to repressed emotions or stresses. When is the last time you had a doctor ask you about your past traumas, repressed emotions, or current stresses? I am not sure I ever have!! Yet there is SO much to unpack here.
And don’t think for a second that this book victim blames, quite the contrary. For me, it has empowered me to acknowledge and find healthy ways to express my emotions. Reading accounts of other people’s afflictions, and how they processed (or didn’t process) their emotions, has inspired me to start speaking my own truth even if that means making others uncomfortable.
At dinner the other night, my partner said something that triggered me. He saw I was upset but tried to change the subject so as not to ruin our meal. I blatantly said, “I am angry about this and am not ready to move on yet.” Before reading this book, I may have sulked the rest of the evening or tried to move on with the evening without fully acknowledging my anger. Instead, I was able to identify that I was angry and that I needed time and space to let it move through me. After dinner we went for a walk and talked about how to show up better for each other in the future should this happen again. It felt much healthier.
Though I am only halfway through, I have already gained a lot from this book. Not only have I been able to understand the importance of feeling and expressing my own emotions, but I am able to better understand my relatives and the afflictions that impact them as well.
2. You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Cicero
Normally I shy away from books like these - gimmicky get-rich-quick books that I usually can’t relate to. But the audiobook version was available on my Library app so I downloaded it spontaneously on my way to meet someone across town. I needed something to occupy me while scooting along on public transport.
Let’s just say the first few paragraphs were VERY relatable. Cicero recalls living a life where she always scraped by. She said she was the friend who met friends for dinner but only ordered water. She told them she wasn’t hungry but would then scarf down all the bread once it hit the table. Most of the book was a venture in how Cicero overcame her money blocks and eventually became a badass at making money.
I’ve never read a book feeling so motivated and convinced that I need a business coach. I have literally prided myself on getting by on as little as possible (I am even writing a book about how to live an epic life for less). But what I had never realized was that this identification as a “frugal person who thinks money just complicates things” was actually preventing me from racking in the dough, dough that I could use to serve others. Just because I earn money doesn’t mean I am going to run out and buy a Humvee just for the hell of it. Cicero reminds readers that money makes you MORE of who you are. And I happen to think I am a pretty great person with a big heart. So there you have it Universe, I am ready to receive the Benji’s.
I highly recommend this if you identify as a frugal person or a capitalism critic but secretly want a stash of money so you can buy that off-grid house in Costa Rica or quit your job so you can start that animal sanctuary you’ve always dreamt of.
3. Into the Magic Shop: A neurosurgeon's true story of the life-changing magic of mindfulness and compassion by Dr. James R Doty
This was probably my favorite book on the list and was also recommended to me by my new therapist. I didn’t know therapists gave book recommendations but I loved the homework assignment so I eagerly bought the book. And guess what? It was GREAT! So great that I gobbled it up in just a few days.
Doty’s book is based on real-life events including 1. growing up poor, 2. meeting a wise woman in a magic shop who taught him the greatest magic of all…how to manifest anything by calming your mind and opening your heart, and 3. defying all odds to become a successful doctor and now author.
The book touched on a lot of my favorite topics including mindfulness, manifestation, and raising your vibration. But what really pulled on my heartstrings was how this man overcame great odds to get to where he is today - all thanks to the kindness and patience of another person. Had he not met her it’s likely that he would have met the same fate as his alcoholic father or poverty-stricken mother. This book is a reminder that the environment you grow up in doesn’t necessarily have to determine your direction in life - as long as you know a few of the magic tricks in this book.
I got so excited about the book, I sent a copy to a cousin of mine who also grew up similarly to me and also shares similar interests. I’ve never done that before, but felt the immediate urge to “share the magic” - and now I am sharing it with you. Get this book!
Have you read any of the books mentioned above? What about any others that stopped you in your tracks? I’d love to hear what you’ve been reading or listening to :)
The Most Influential Book I've Ever Read
If someone asked me what has been the most influential book I’ve ever read, I would say, without a doubt, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book “draws on the long tradition of the Toltecs, an ancient, indigenous people of Mexico, to show you that we have been domesticated from childhood, how these internal, guiding rules hurt us and what we can do to break and replace them with a new set of agreements with ourselves.”
Why do I love it? Because the simplistic language makes it easy to grasp and apply to your life instantaneously. And its short length makes it easy to re-read every few years, which is exactly what I do. In fact, this easy-to-digest book was my first entry into the self-work genre and never ceases to shake me up when I read it.
A few days ago, I discovered that it was available as an audiobook on Youtube so I decided to listen to it for the umpteenth time (FYI - looks like it has since been removed, sadly.) Clocking in at just under 3 hours - I put it on when I was doing dishes or cleaning up around the house and before I knew it, was done with it in no time!
Below I will attempt to summarize the agreements as well as provide real-life examples. But if you have some time to kill in the doctor’s office, while you’re tidying up around the house or commuting to work, do yourself a favor and read (or listen) to it yourself.
A Brief Summary of The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
Your words cast spells. You can either be a good witch and bless yourself and those around you with your speech or you can be an evil witch and send out poison. Poison comes in all shapes and forms but includes insults, negative self-talk, condescension, gossip, and fear-based advice.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
Everything anyone ever does is about themselves. It’s never about you. When people cast evil spells in your direction it’s because they are grappling with their own demons. Subsequently, when people praise you, don’t take this personally either. Remember, it’s NEVER about you.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
In other words, don’t create stories in your head when you don’t have all the facts. When in doubt, ask questions to gain clarity on a situation, but be prepared to receive answers that don’t meet your expectations. And don’t take their answers personally, it’s not about you :)
4. Always do your best
Everyone’s best differs daily depending on how much sleep you’ve had, how much stress you’re under, or what the weather is like. Regardless of how you’re feeling today, if you do your best, you’ll never be disappointed in yourself which means you’ll always be on good terms with how you’re showing up in the world. And you’ll be less likely to cast evil spells, take things personally, and make assumptions.
Sounds easy, right? Unfortunately, it’s much harder to break generational cycles than it is to talk about them. But the awareness of your conditioning is the first step toward ending your relationship with fear and living a more heart-centered existence. And this book does a great job of holding your hand along the way.