Where the Ladies At? - The Disconcerting Absence of Solo Women in Van Life
One disconcerting thing I’ve noticed since transitioning to van life is how few solo women there are outside in the world. I almost never see solo women doing van life. I also rarely see women hiking alone, walking alone, dining alone, or pretty much doing anything alone. I see my fair share of couples on trails and in camper lots. I also see a lot of solo men doing sports or groups of men doing god knows what.
But - where the ladies at?
Observations from Abroad: Morocco and Portugal
In Morocco, it was very rare to see women out solo or even in groups. When dusk approached all the cafes and streets were lined with dudes, not a woman in sight.
Now that I am back in Portugal I can’t help but notice the same thing just on a scaled-down version. Women seem comfortable shopping alone, grocery shopping, or running errands but beyond that the world seems off-limits unless accompanied by their partner.
The Fear Factor: Why Aren't Women Going Solo?
Why is that? Are y’all scared to do things alone?
If so, I get it. Men, especially groups of men, have given themselves a bad reputation over the centuries. But that’s no excuse to deny yourself the pleasure of the great outdoors - or embark on your van life journey ( as long as you proceed with a little bit of common sense because men still be cray no matter where you are in the world.)
My Experience with Fear and Precaution
The past two nights there was nobody around the area I chose to park for a night which kind of creeped me out but I didn’t let it stop me. I wanted to wake up surrounded by nature not in a brightly lit gas station parking lot designated for camper vans. I did however take some precautionary measures. Both nights I walked around the area prior to settling in to make sure there weren’t any groups of sketchy men lingering about. The first night there was a group of guys fishing together. They had a small dog with them, a factor that somehow put me at ease and made them seem less harmful.
Last night there was a large shirtless man who pulled up and parked beside me for a while. I contemplated leaving but he eventually left on his own.
I doubt male van lifers pace around their area before deciding whether to settle in for the night. But I digress.
Sleepless Nights and Adrenaline Jolts
Both of these nights I didn’t sleep all that well because, well, I was on edge. I had never stayed somewhere so remote before.
The first night I woke up with a jolt of adrenaline, a frenetic aura surrounding me. I was suddenly hyper-aware of every breath and ounce of blood circulating through my veins. Then I saw headlights, a car slowly passed mine, and then turned around and passed again.
“Should I leave and head to a well-lit parking lot?” If I left, I rationed, I wouldn’t be able to wake up to a lake view and slowly sip my cacao as I gently ease into the day. The car left and didn’t return so I soothed myself back to sleep.
An hour or so later though, I woke up again, this time convinced that I’d heard footsteps near my van. I sat in the dark for a while, my heart racing. But then I had a thought, I could just look out the window and see for myself. I did, and there was not a soul in sight. I must have dreamt it or perhaps I was tapping into the collective belief that women are fragile and should remain indoors where it’s “safe”. I managed to fall back asleep and wake up feeling refreshed. As I’d hoped, the view was magnificent. What a shame it would have been if I had let my fears get the best of me. But what an even bigger shame it is that it’s 2024 and I still have to choose between being alive and feeling alive.
A Call to Action: Reclaiming Our Place in Nature
That being said, I’d like to encourage any woman reading this to do more outdoor shit alone. How cool would it be to pull up to a campsite and park next to a solo woman with gray-streaked hair and faded tattoos? How refreshing would it be to ask a middle-aged goddess on a hiking trail where the waterfall is? If more of us got out there and did stuff, other women would feel safe to join in on the fun, and then more of us would get to experience what it means to feel at one with nature… and truly alive.
Our collective and very valid fear of men has robbed us of our ability to enjoy our lives and the splendor of nature. Let’s reclaim that joy :)