Yes, You Can Get Paid to Be You. Here's How...
Yesterday morning, a surfer friend spontaneously invited me over for a smoothie (or batido, as they say in Spanish).
My fresh fruit delivery hadn’t arrived yet, so I took it as a sign from the universe.
While we were sipping our dragon fruit concoctions, she started asking questions about making money remotely.
She grew up upper-middle class, got a solid education (she’s a trained ER nurse), and had recently quit her job to travel full time. She’s got savings, but now wants to figure out how to earn on the road.
So we did my favorite thing: we brainstormed.
Here’s what we were working with:
– She’s a trained emergency room nurse
– Loves to surf and travel
– Wants location freedom
– Is into weightlifting, strength training, and healthy eating
And here are some potential offerings I brainstormed for her:
✨ Virtual consultations for digital nomads and surf tourists — especially those traveling in developing countries and dealing with a medical emergency related to water sports (or anything else sketchy you might pick up on the road).
She could assess their condition over video and tell them exactly what to do next: rest? painkillers? ER visit? gentle movement?
✨ On-the-ground support (when local) — If she’s in the same city, she could accompany them to the hospital or doctor. She speaks Spanish, so she can translate and advocate for them too. Solo travel can be scary when things go wrong—she’d be a knowledgeable, calm presence in the chaos.
✨ Rehab & recovery programs — Once they’re on the mend, she could design a personalized rehab or strength training plan to prevent flare-ups. If they need nutrition or supplement advice, she can guide that too.
All of this poured out in less than 10 minutes.
“You’re so smart,” she said.
Maybe! But really—what I love most is helping people realize the money-making potential they’re already sitting on. My superpower is spotting hidden gold in people’s skills and showing them what’s possible. Most of us are way closer to a viable income stream than we think—we just need someone to connect the dots.
I firmly believe anyone can make money online by combining their skills, lived experience, and a little bit of savviness. With a polished website or landing page, a clear offer, and some tenacity, you can support yourself while traveling and actually build a life you LOVE not just tolerate :)
Want me to help you brainstorm ways to make money remotely? Get in touch.
Start Before You’re Ready (or You’ll Regret It Again in 10 Years)
An old friend messaged me the other day with a question I’ve heard a hundred different ways, from a hundred different people:
“I have this idea to make money teaching classes online... but I’m nervous. The internet is so crowded. Is it even worth it?”
Here’s what I told her. And what I’ll tell you, too:
Yes. Do it.
Even if you’re scared.
Even if you’re not tech-savvy.
Even if you think you missed your window, or everyone is fed up with virtual courses.
Because the truth is — the “perfect time” already passed ten years ago. And if you keep waiting until you feel ready, you’re going to be having the same conversation with yourself ten years from now.
You don’t need to be Oprah and appeal to the masses.
You don’t need to have millions of followers or a fancy camera setup or a marketing degree. You just need a few humans who resonate with your energy. That’s it. And you’ll find them — or rather, they’ll find you — if you keep showing up with authenticity and a little consistency.
Start where you are. Use what you have.
Record your first Reel. Make your first awkward post. Fumble through your first class.
You might cringe at how cringe you were the next day — but keep going anyway.
You don’t have to quit your job overnight or go off-grid with a laptop and a dream (unless you want to).
But you do have to begin.
Pick a direction. Pick a platform. Pick a person to talk to — just one — and start building for them.
Because the real difference between those of us who “escaped the matrix” and those still stuck in it?
We started.
We said yes before we had all the answers.
We posted the cringey content.
We trusted the vision even when no one else got it.
But here’s the thing most people don’t realize: the algorithms are working for you. Even if you think you might be shouting into a void:
Google is crawling your blog posts. YouTube is scanning your videos and descriptions.
And yes—even ChatGPT is indexing your content, learning from publicly available material to better answer questions people are asking.
—> Here’s How ChatGPT Found Me My Ideal Client: https://nicolepaulus.com/blog-content/2025/5/9/she-found-me-through-chatgpt-proof-that-nicheing-down-still-works
That recipe you shared?
That website tutorial video you recorded and posted on YouTube on the fly?
That mini-class you created for your students?
It’s all working in the background. Quietly. Faithfully.
So when someone finally searches for what you offer—they find you.
It’s not about going viral, it’s about making yourself findable.
And having the courage to begin.
And no, it’s not all sunshine, hammocks, and palm trees (though there’ll be a good deal of that.)
You’ll still hustle. You’ll still grind.
But you’ll be doing it for yourself.
On your time.
For your vision.
About something that lights your soul on fire.
So if you’ve been sitting on an idea for weeks, months — maybe even years — consider this your sign:
Just start.
Or you’ll be looking back a decade from now wishing you had.
Want help figuring out what your idea could look like? I help conscious creatives and curious misfits find clarity, build freedom, and start walking away from the grind. Book a session with me.
Where the Ladies At? - The Disconcerting Absence of Solo Women in Van Life
One disconcerting thing I’ve noticed since transitioning to van life is how few solo women there are outside in the world. I almost never see solo women doing van life. I also rarely see women hiking alone, walking alone, dining alone, or pretty much doing anything alone. I see my fair share of couples on trails and in camper lots. I also see a lot of solo men doing sports or groups of men doing god knows what.
But - where the ladies at?
Observations from Abroad: Morocco and Portugal
In Morocco, it was very rare to see women out solo or even in groups. When dusk approached all the cafes and streets were lined with dudes, not a woman in sight.
Now that I am back in Portugal I can’t help but notice the same thing just on a scaled-down version. Women seem comfortable shopping alone, grocery shopping, or running errands but beyond that the world seems off-limits unless accompanied by their partner.
The Fear Factor: Why Aren't Women Going Solo?
Why is that? Are y’all scared to do things alone?
If so, I get it. Men, especially groups of men, have given themselves a bad reputation over the centuries. But that’s no excuse to deny yourself the pleasure of the great outdoors - or embark on your van life journey ( as long as you proceed with a little bit of common sense because men still be cray no matter where you are in the world.)
My Experience with Fear and Precaution
The past two nights there was nobody around the area I chose to park for a night which kind of creeped me out but I didn’t let it stop me. I wanted to wake up surrounded by nature not in a brightly lit gas station parking lot designated for camper vans. I did however take some precautionary measures. Both nights I walked around the area prior to settling in to make sure there weren’t any groups of sketchy men lingering about. The first night there was a group of guys fishing together. They had a small dog with them, a factor that somehow put me at ease and made them seem less harmful.
Last night there was a large shirtless man who pulled up and parked beside me for a while. I contemplated leaving but he eventually left on his own.
I doubt male van lifers pace around their area before deciding whether to settle in for the night. But I digress.
Sleepless Nights and Adrenaline Jolts
Both of these nights I didn’t sleep all that well because, well, I was on edge. I had never stayed somewhere so remote before.
The first night I woke up with a jolt of adrenaline, a frenetic aura surrounding me. I was suddenly hyper-aware of every breath and ounce of blood circulating through my veins. Then I saw headlights, a car slowly passed mine, and then turned around and passed again.
“Should I leave and head to a well-lit parking lot?” If I left, I rationed, I wouldn’t be able to wake up to a lake view and slowly sip my cacao as I gently ease into the day. The car left and didn’t return so I soothed myself back to sleep.
An hour or so later though, I woke up again, this time convinced that I’d heard footsteps near my van. I sat in the dark for a while, my heart racing. But then I had a thought, I could just look out the window and see for myself. I did, and there was not a soul in sight. I must have dreamt it or perhaps I was tapping into the collective belief that women are fragile and should remain indoors where it’s “safe”. I managed to fall back asleep and wake up feeling refreshed. As I’d hoped, the view was magnificent. What a shame it would have been if I had let my fears get the best of me. But what an even bigger shame it is that it’s 2024 and I still have to choose between being alive and feeling alive.
A Call to Action: Reclaiming Our Place in Nature
That being said, I’d like to encourage any woman reading this to do more outdoor shit alone. How cool would it be to pull up to a campsite and park next to a solo woman with gray-streaked hair and faded tattoos? How refreshing would it be to ask a middle-aged goddess on a hiking trail where the waterfall is? If more of us got out there and did stuff, other women would feel safe to join in on the fun, and then more of us would get to experience what it means to feel at one with nature… and truly alive.
Our collective and very valid fear of men has robbed us of our ability to enjoy our lives and the splendor of nature. Let’s reclaim that joy :)
So, where ya headed, wild thing?
Permaculture for People with Periods
It’s been a few months since I started “van life” and up until now I’ve had pretty good luck when it comes to Aunt Flo’s monthly visit. Without really trying, I have always managed to score house sits that coincidentally line up with my moon cycle which means I have yet had to deal with menstruating whilst living in a tiny spaceship sans running water.
Until now that is…
A week ago, smack dab in the middle of my two-week permaculture design certification at Keela Yoga Farm, I realized that my period would be starting soon and I wasn’t prepared. I always have period undies handy but because I’m a heavy bleeder, I typically like pairing them with menstrual pads on the first few days. Needless to say, I didn’t have the goods and the nearest town was a 20-minute drive away (and the only “shop” they had was a cafe that carried bags of crisps and chocolate - no period products). There was also very rarely any free time to sneak away and stock up.
I decided to make do with what I had and also use it as an opportunity to bring attention to the fact that we need more period-inclusive spaces, especially in permaculture.
Especially since one of the core principles of Permaculture is People Care - a principle that makes sure to take into account the people who will be impacted by your design. The farm I happened to be taking my permaculture design course at however, was clearly designed by a man who hadn’t taken into account the fact that his female guests would sometimes be bleeding whilst also shoveling sheep shit to make compost.
Take his long drop toilet design for example. To close and open the door you have to lift a giant wooden block thus preventing you from accidentally forgetting to shut the door. He was proud of this detail but failed to think about the fact that a woman on her period might struggle with putting her pants on while holding her bloody moon cup in one hand and trying to simultaneously not get blood on the wooden block so that she could get out and wash up.
He also happened to put the shared hand-washing sink on the outside of the compost toilets, and not one on the inside which meant that if you did manage to get out of the shit machine unscathed, you’d run the risk of having one of your classmates pass you while you’re washing out clots from your moon cup or rinsing off the blood you’d smeared on your hand in the process.
I happened to enjoy the company of nearly every one of my classmates, but it’d be nice to have some privacy when I am vigorously squeezing out the blood from my period underwear.
Not to mention that the compost toilet was quite a long hike from the van parking zone which meant that any time I felt a clot of blood longing to be released I had to waddle to the bathroom hoping that I’d make it there before my period underwear flooded. Spoiler alert - I never managed to get there in time.
In the middle of the night, I opted to pee outside of my van, a detail that was encouraged by the farm. In fact, we weren’t really supposed to pee in the compost toilet because it would promote bad smells. Normally this was fine with me, but on my period, it’s nice to be able to wipe and flush regularly. Instead, I had to wipe myself with the full moon in the sky illuminating my own full moon, and then throw the tissue into a trash bag in my van. The next morning I got in the habit of watering down the clumps of blood that I’d left around.
On the final day of the course, our instructor asked us for feedback. While others used the opportunity to give tips on how to improve the food and curriculum, I spoke honestly about my period-related concerns and recommended that at the very least, he should sell sustainable period products in his shop alongside incense and natural soaps. Though I am unsure he understood the magnitude of the situation, he does seem to be someone who implements feedback regularly. For example, before our group arrived, a group of women volunteers had set up a “pee station” complete with a charcoal pile to absorb smells, a wastebasket, and a roll of toilet paper outside of the community center. The reason was that a few women had complained that there wasn’t enough private areas around the center for them to comfortably pee outside.
Even if nothing comes of my outspokenness, I am happy that I had an opportunity to share my stance as well as speak honestly about this topic. It’s not necessarily the fault of men for designing an inconvenient world. Instead, I think it’s the lack of awareness around the kinds of spaces we need. I believe it’s the responsibility of women to speak up or hell, even take it upon themselves to design spaces that are more inclusive.
The moral of the story - I got my Permaculture Design certificate and if I ever decide to bring my project to fruition, I will make sure that it is an inviting place for those who bleed on the reg.
How does this post make you feel? Do you think it’s a bleeder’s responsibility to make sure there aer more period-inclusive spaces in the world?
Riding the Loneliness Wave
This past year has been all about me taking steps towards living my dream life, instead of just fantasizing about it. That means that I have been giving myself permission to explore and try things out that pique my curiosity. I have no expectations in mind, just to make sure that fun and lightness are never too far away.
That’s how I ended up in Costa Rica learning to surf, and then later to Morocco to attempt to put into practice what I learned in Costa Rica - this time with a constricting wetsuit on. It’s also how I ended up signing up for a permaculture design course in the north of Portugal, where I currently am.
On the surface, and maybe on Instagram, my life is seemingly falling into place.
The other day though, while driving down a long stretch of road, I felt an incredible wave of loneliness overcome me. Though I had been waking up in the most beautiful places, exploring old Moorish castles, hiking through running rivers, and loving on the cutest animals, I felt an intense longing to share this chapter of my life with at least one other wanderer. I yelped out loud in between tears to no one in particular, “I don’t want to do this alone.”
I let myself have a pity party for a while and then I reminded myself WHY I was going on this journey. That’s when I had a thought, I would rather be temporarily lonely, and get to wake up in beautiful places while also getting the opportunity to explore my interests than go back to my life in Berlin having more frequent social interactions but those that were often misaligned to my soul.
A big part of why I wanted to go on this journey was so I could meet like-minded souls, souls who had wandered off “the path” and had been curiously carving out their own.
The Feeling of Home
A few days ago, I arrived to the farm where the permaculture course would be taking place, and I felt immediately at home. There are 16 souls here, from all over the world, who are keen on disrupting the “norm” and becoming more in sync with nature. And not surprisingly many arrived in their vans.
When the teacher’s assistant was giving me a tour of the compost toilets, he proclaimed that those were only for poo and that we were to pee outside on the land. That might have terrified others, but I immediately felt my nervous system relax. I LOVE peeing outside. Not only do I have free rein to mark my territory wherever I fancy, but there is also an outdoor shower. I know I said I loved peeing outside but there is NOTHING better than showering while birds are chirping happily around you and the breeze is breezing over your most tender parts.
To top it off, every single person I’ve had a chat with since being here has been super open, warm-hearted and… curious. From one day to the next, I went from feeling completely alone in the world to feeling like I found a group of souls I could resonate deeply with, those who, like me, seek the company of animals and nature instead of highly stimulating, highly populated events - which is probably why I don’t come across groups of them very often. LOL.
For two weeks though we will be together learning about sustainable farming techniques, designing our dream permaculture projects, and giving each other knowing nods while passing each other on the way to the compost toilet.
Loneliness is a wave. It ebbs and flows. But as long as you keep following what lights you up, a like-minded soul will never be that far away.
How do you move through the feeling of loneliness?
Give More Grace
A few months ago I bought a minivan complete with a built-in bed and set off on the adventure of my life. Most people go on adventures like this with a partner or a friend, but for some reason, I felt the urge to do this solo.
I’m rarely scared. I get to wake up to beautiful views or fall asleep to the crashing of waves. But there are still a lot of things I don’t know or understand about life on the road.
Since I am always driving through a new city, I am never in my comfort zone. Which means sometimes I drive too slow or I miss important turns. I try to pull to the side of the road when someone is tailing me so that they can pass. Sometimes, though, I get honked at.
I’m not going to lie, it does sting. I’m doing my best, here, doesn’t anyone realize how difficult it is to navigate through unfamiliar territory?
Yesterday though, I am guilty of exerting the same holier-than-thou behavior. I was feeling pretty confident with my roundabout maneuvers, had to pee very badly, and was only 15 minutes away from where I was going to sleep for the night. I was antsy and ready to walk around after having been in the car for several hours. And I got stuck behind a very slow car.
My first thought was…COME ON, VAMOSSSSS.
But then I saw the sign on the back of a car mentioning that the driver was just learning.
Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. This person was learning a new skill and needed some grace.
Learning a new skill, venturing off on a trip solo, driving through foreign countries, and stepping out of your comfort zone is NEVER easy. But it is the foundation of a happy, fulfilling life. How boring would it be if you just did things you always did, hung out with people you always hung out with, and ate the same things you always ate? Variety is the spice of life and contrast is what makes life beautiful.
It takes courage to live a contrasting life though because it means sometimes you are going to have to pee in a jar, get honked at by impatient drivers, or risk failing, falling, or having to ask for help. Let’s try to give the newbs a little grace (ourselves included). If you are a pro at something, use it as an opportunity to mentor or help someone who is just starting. If you don’t have the time or patience, might I suggest you just leave them alone as they stumble through this thing called life?
We are all living these lives in these bodies for the first time. Let’s give each other and ourselves grace as we maneuver through the world. Or maybe we should all just wear stickers that say “First time living this life, please be kind” as a gentle reminder. Anyone wanna print some up? :)
Are you good at giving others grace? Are you good at giving yourself grace? Why or why not?
Top Tips for Tagazhout and Tamraght, Morocco
Jean Genie (my blue 2006 Citroen C6 minivan) and I officially began our new life together over a month ago when we drove from Berlin to Toulouse. Why Toulouse? Because there was a super cheap flight to Morocco from there, that's why!!
I sadly left Jean Genie in a car park outside the Toulouse airport for three weeks while I soaked up some Vitamin D, practiced my surf skills, drank all the mint tea, ate all the tagine, watched all the sunsets, and pet all the stray dogs and cats. The truth is it’s still too cold in Europe for my desert bones.
That’s the reason I decided to spend the last three weeks exploring two cute surfer villages including Tagazhout and Tamraght. I highly recommend doing the same if you are hoping to escape the depressive European winter or want to try your luck at learning to surf in calm waters. Temperatures were around 20 degrees Celsius every day, and there was lots of sunshine and plenty of happy smiling faces. Since I had such a great time and met a lot of really friendly people, I am considering returning very soon, this time with my van Jean Genie. It seems to be a very popular location for camper vans.
Below are some of the places I most frequented and loved while I was there.
Tagazhout
A no-frills streetside eatery where you can get fish tagine which includes two big pieces of fish, veggies, and bread for only 30 Dhm (about 3 euros). Don’t forget to add a mint tea to your order (~15 Dhm). Cash only.
A seaside restaurant where you can work on your laptop with the gentle sound of the waves as your background. They offer fresh juices, Moroccan cuisine, and, of course, mint tea. Prices are a bit more, but still VERY affordable (50 Dhm for Veggie Tagine) and the view is priceless. Traditional Berber musicians will wander from table to table to perform a song for you. I have a soft spot for musicians and always try to tip them. Plus I love Berber music!! There is also a huge terrace where you can chill on when you need a break from wandering around. Credit cards are accepted but only above 100 Dhm.
MOVED - Simo’s Vintage Shop
**It’s been brought to my attention that Simo has relocated his shop and in addition, now offers a camper van parking area on his land in Essaouira, outside of Sidi Kaouki. His Tagazhout location is no longer in operation, but he’s more than happy to accept visitors at his new location! More info here.
A friend and I were wandering around Tagazhout and found Simo's magical little shop tucked away on a side street. It's quite small but once you're in there and see all the treasures he has the place seems to triple in size. Simo is also a very special human, welcoming us in and preparing us tea while we tried on clothes. He's got some amazing pieces and fair prices. If you are looking for a one-of-a-kind souvenir or just a great experience overall, definitely stop by and say hi :) His merchandise changes often. Though be warned, the opening of his shop is dependent on surf conditions so if he isn’t there when you drop by, come back later when the waves have died down. Cash only.
Tamraght
Ok this is definitely a place catered to tourists but their food is top-notch so I must mention it. I recommend ordering the mushroom tacos, potato wedges, and exotic smoothie but anything you order there is going to blow you away. It’s also a great place to work on your laptop (they have Wifi) and also accept credit cards. I love the outside seating area especially when a stray cat or dog wanders by and takes a nap by your feet. Prices are a bit more than the other restaurants in the area, but worth it! Expect to pay between 100-150 Dhm a person for food and drinks.
This place is very affordably priced and serves up decent Moroccan food. Try the Veggie Tagine (I found the chicken one pretty dry) or if it’s breakfast time, take the sampler platter (I forgot the name, but it includes all the various spreads, bread, omelet, and coffee). The Date Avocado Orange Juice smoothie is to die for, so make sure to try one! The place is super cozy and they also offer free Wifi so you can work there. Cash only.
You can rent a surfboard and wetsuit for only 100 Dhm for the day here. You can also chill on the terrace on their bean bag chairs. They also offer yoga but I didn’t attend any sessions. Cash only.
Honorable Mentions
Paradies Quad - I stayed here the last week of my trip but I wish I had found it sooner. The vibe of the place was very chill. They have an in-house cleaner so the common areas are always super tidy. I rented a room and shared a bathroom with one other person on my floor. There is a kitchen where you can prepare meals and two terraces where you can chill and watch the sunset. I paid through Airbnb.
Mint tea on the beach - 20 Dh, there was nothing better than getting out of the sea after getting thrashed around by the waves and then getting served a delicious warm mint tea. There will be many people wandering around asking if you want tea, don’t turn them down! You won’t be disappointed :) Cash only.
Souk El Had in Agadir - About a 30-minute drive from Tamraght, the big marketplace in Agadir is a must-see. I had a delicious breakfast at one of the cafes featuring pea soup, bread with amlou (almond butter) and various spreads, and a large avocado smoothie for just 35 Dhs. Not only is it just fun to walk around and soak up all the sites but it’s a great place to buy souvenirs. I picked up some spices and spiced coffee. Cash only.
Hamam - If you are feeling adventurous you can hop over to the local hamam after you do your shopping which is about a 7-minute walk away from the Souk. There you will get the opportunity to have all your most intimate parts scrubbed smooth by a topless Moroccan grandma, 50 Dh for the scrub and 30 Dh for the soap and loofah. Cash only.
Morocco Animal Aid - I spent two days volunteering at this establishment which is about 10 minutes outside of Tamraght (I took a taxi there for 50 Dhs and walked back). They help street animals recover from injuries as well as get them adopted. I had the pleasure of walking a few dogs and just spending some time giving some of them love. FREE.
Have you been to this area of Morocco? Did I leave any of your favorite joints off the list?
Note to Self: Group Tours Suck But Be Gentle With Your Fellow Sheep Anyway
I’ve been in Morocco for the last 2.5 weeks and I’ve loved almost every second of it; the sea, the surf, the beach camels, the fruit smoothies, the ridiculously cheap prices, and the smiles of the warm people.
Today, though I was annoyed.
You see I booked a group tour to hike through Paradise Valley, an oasis in the middle of the desert. I don’t typically like group tours because I like to go with my rhythm and absolutely abhor being shuffled around in a herd of sheep. But Paradise Valley was an hour away and to get there by public transport was pretty much out of the question. I could take an illegal taxi there and hope that there was a normal taxi coming back that I could jump in. Otherwise, it would be a five-hour walk. Yikes!
Needless to say, I opted for the tour. So this morning I met outside of the pharmacy and waited for the shuffle shuttle bus to pick me up. By the time we arrived at the trailhead though, I was already hungry. I brought my usual snacks; nuts, hardboiled egg, and banana but it wasn’t enough. I felt hanger rising. I tried to distract myself with a quick pace and ended up taking the lead.
At one point the tour guide ran up to me and said “Slow down sister, we have old people with us.” I boiled inside. I wanted to MOVE. Not to mention I’d had a Moroccan coffee before hopping on the shuttle so I was more than amped up.
We finally arrived at the 7-meter plunge where several brave souls stripped down to their swimsuits and jumped in. I’d also worn mine underneath but the water was frigid, the sky was cloudy, and I didn’t feel like being cold afterward, so I just watched the others splash in and struggle to get out quick enough.
On the way back, I started to salivate thinking about the chicken couscous I would order when I got dropped off. Much to my dismay, however, the group was shuffled once again to a small restaurant where they treated us to some Moroccan tea. By this point, I was STARVING.
One guy from my group had arrived a few minutes before everyone else and had ordered himself some lunch. I was jealous. Why didn’t I think of that? Now it was too late.
We finished our tea and began our ascent back to the van. When we arrived I noticed the gentleman who’d ordered himself some lunch wasn’t there. As time passed, I grew more agitated. I overheard a couple next to me say that he had wanted to go for a swim after lunch.
As you can imagine, some dark thoughts started to dance in my head: Are you SERIOUS? First, he orders himself lunch while the rest of us sustain on thyme tea and hard cookies and then he makes everyone wait on him while he takes a dip in the pool. How rude!!
I tried to keep myself from spiraling even further and just busied myself with my Tetris app and just hoped that this misery would end soon. Never again I told myself as I cleared another row.
And then he finally appeared. He had water dripping from his head and he looked frantic. He gets on the bus and makes an announcement before sitting down:
“First of all, I want to say thank you for waiting for me. I wanted to explain why I was late. A few years ago I lost a friend of mine while jumping off that cliff and for my psyche I have come to do two things, 1: watch others jump off the cliff and 2. jump off myself. When I saw a few of you jumping earlier, I was triggered and I had to leave. I knew I couldn’t leave without jumping myself so when you all walked back to the car, I jumped.”
“Oh my god! “I said from the back of the bus. A few others on the bus piped up in unison: “I am so sorry for your loss.”
He sat down and we all drove back. But I couldn’t get what he said out of my head.
Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t help but think about how brave he was to have come here and make that leap. I also couldn’t help but put myself in his shoes. A good friend of mine had just visited me. If that had happened to her I would have been destroyed forever.
There are many morals to my story but here are my key takeaways:
You never really know what someone is going through. Be gentle with each other. Even if you never get clarity around someone’s behavior, we all deserve grace.
Live life to the fullest always even if you have fear. I wrote a poem about that recently. Read it here.
Love your loved ones hard. Tell them you love them all the time.
Bring more snacks than you think you’ll need, or just bring a whole damn lunch. I read a quote recently that pretty much said; “if you hate everyone around you, eat. If you think everyone around you hates you, take a nap.” I love it and think about it often.
What was YOUR key takeaway from my story? I’d love to hear about it.
It’s a Wander-full Life
On my long flight from Berlin to the US this past week, I binged several movies including the latest documentary about Anthony Bourdain which I resonated deeply with. Not because I too love traveling and experiencing new places and cultures as a local instead of a tourist, much like Bourdain proselytized his entire career, but because I resonated with the existential loneliness he seemed to have, an unfortunate side effect of being a wanderer.
Anthony was a wanderer. He loved experiencing the world firsthand, eating street food, drinking with locals, and witnessing both the beauty and the horrors of foreign lands. But when he was wandering he missed the familiarity of home, the intimacy that can only be cultivated when you stay planted somewhere for any given time. He missed his wife and his kid. When he was finally home, however, he enjoyed grilling hot dogs and splashing around in the pool for a while, but it wasn’t long before he began to miss being immersed in another culture.
Because society didn’t support such a lifestyle, Bourdain likely felt existential loneliness, a feeling of never really belonging anywhere — a feeling I’ve had often. I can’t help but think if society was not only more accepting of wanderers (souls who saunter from here to there, who inadvertently act as bridges, ambassadors, bearers of peace offerings, and connectors to other worlds) — but also offered them an honorable space at the table (when they’re home), Bourdain would still be alive.
““Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life - and travel - leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks - on your body or on your heart - are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.””
Wandering is an exiting of the matrix, but it is not necessarily the “better path.” It’s just a path, one that I believe many of us chose before we entered these bodies. The existential loneliness we feel doesn’t have anything to do with the choice we’ve made but with the lack of acceptance - from those we love, the communities we wander into and away from, and most importantly, ourselves.
I recently met with my ex to catch up before I left Berlin. We’d been together for six years and now apart for a year and a half. He’s moved on, has a new girlfriend, and will soon move to Japan and start a family with her. He seems happy which makes me happy.
At dinner though, he subtly started encouraging me to start dating. “Sometimes you have to force it. You might have to go on Tinder or put yourself out there.”
“Maybe I’ll just have lovers in every city,” I smiled coyly.
His face fell, “That’s not what you want. You deserve a partner you can build something with.”
I appreciate his perspective. For him, that’s all he ever wanted. Someone who spoke in “we” instead of “I,” someone who gladly shared a bed with him instead of slinking off to the couch in the middle of the night. But if I am being TRULY honest with myself, I’ve never felt 100% satisfied in a relationship. No matter how much I love the intimacy and closeness of a long-term partnership, part of me always longs to be wild and free, going with my whims, not tied to a place or person. Perhaps that’s a result of the partners I’ve chosen or perhaps this wandering way of being is something I have to accept about myself.
Maybe I’ll never “settle down.” Maybe I’ll never have a family or a partner that lasts more than a few years. Maybe I’ll lean into a community, help cultivate the land for a while, and then drift away before I ever reap the fruits of my labor. And how absolutely beautiful is that?
+ How many places will I get to leave better than I found?
+ How many pairs of eyes will I get to gaze deeply into?
+ How many members of my soul family will I be reunited with?
Because I am not connected to one place, I’ve had to learn how to cultivate a feeling of home and safety from within. And what I’ve found in the process is that the more cozy I make this inner place, the less lonely I feel overall because anywhere I end up becomes my living room, and whoever I’m around, my family. The more time I spend untethering myself from society’s conditioning, the more inviting the world becomes.
And so in 2024, I am making it a goal to fully accept this wandering side of myself and lean into all the beauty this particular life path holds. Because it is truly wonderful.
Do you consider yourself a wanderer? Why or why not?
My Favorite Free Thing To Do At The Airport (That Makes Me Look Ten Years Younger)
As a digital nomad who has broken free from the matrix, I spend a LOT of time in airports which means I know how to make the most of my time there. Sure, airports have a reputation for being expensive as hell which can make chilling at them not so fun, but today I want to share a hack with you that will *almost* justify you spending $6 on that bottle of “fresh” glacier water.
The next time you find yourself with a little extra time to kill, instead of heading directly to your gate, plopping down in a stiff armchair, and pulling out your phone to aimlessly scroll through Instagram or TikTok, consider heading to the cosmetic section of the duty-free shop first. Once you’re there, start scanning the prices of the luxury brands until you find one that makes your jaw drop. The other day I was doing this in the San Jose airport in Costa Rica and found an eye cream for $248. At that moment, I knew I’d found the cream of my dreams. I unscrewed the lid and dipped my ring finger inside. I then made my way to the nearest mirror and began slathering my tired undereyes with the luxurious lotion.
Sure, I feel a little silly whenever I do this, but I remind myself that it is highly unlikely that I’ll ever see those people again. So if anyone is judging, let them!
Now if you’re less concerned about the judging eyes and more concerned about the potential germs multiplying in that makeshift petri dish, well I can’t help you overcome that fear, unfortunately. That episode of the Tyra Banks talk show where her crew went into Sephora and other similar cosmetic stores and tested the sample products for various germs still haunts me. You’d be correct if you guessed they were CHOCK FULL of bacteria
But, hey, I am pretty healthy. I rarely get sick and when I do it usually passes quickly. Which means I am willing to take the risk. Especially if the benefit is that I arrive at my destination looking ten years younger (LOL).
Safe travels!
What is your favorite activity to do at the airport? Bonus points if it’s free!
Manuel Antonio/Quepos Travel Tips: Where to Stay, Eat, Hike, Surf, & See Animals
Today is more traditional travel blog where I tell you my tips for navigating the Manuel Antonio/Quepos area in Costa Rica. A lot of people only come here a night or two to go to the national park and the beach and then leave. But I was here a month and absolutely LOVED it. If you have the time, I recommend you linger a little longer. During my time here, I collected some valuable tips that will hopefully save some future fellow travelers a few headaches. I also met some really lovely people during my stay here and would love to give them a shoutout. Because the low season (rainy season) can be tough on an economy that relies so heavily on tourism, I also wanted to use this opportunity to help promote the people and businesses that made my time here so enjoyable.
Ready for my recommendations? Here we go….
1/ Favorite hike - From Quepos, near the beautiful Nahomi park, you can begin the Rota Mae, a trail that if done correctly and during the dry season, will take you all the way to Manuel Antonio beach (or so I am told). On the way, you’ll pass 5+ or so secluded beaches such as Playa La Macha, Playa La Vaca, and Biesanz. For the first half, you should be able to follow the pink ribbons to get by. Unfortunately, I never made it past Playa La Vaca because I couldn’t see the ribbons and I was going through some precarious-looking croc soup terrain so turned back. But it’s worth the trip for the beach and jungle hike nonetheless. The starting point can be found on Google Maps. From there follow the trail/pink ribbons. Eventually, you’ll stumble upon Playa La Macha and if you are lucky, no one will be there and you’ll be able to swim naked. After getting lost with another traveler, one day, we somehow ended up at Casa Lamia which had a great view and delicious smoothies (more on that later). Maybe you’ll be as fortunate!
2/ Favorite activity - surfing! - You can walk up and down Manuel Antonio beach and take your chance on taking lessons from one of the many surf schools or surfers. But I recommend contacting Ricardo Costes, a professional body boarder and certified instructor, for an appointment instead. With his help and expertise, I managed to stand up for my first time in the water. After only a few lessons and without having any prior experience, I was able to ride waves on my own. The best way to reach him is through his Instagram, -@ricardo.costes - Pricing depends on low and high seasons and how many people are in your party, but will certainly be more cost-effective than going through one of the schools. I also learned that if you go through one of the schools, the instructors only earn $15-$20 per lesson, even though the lesson costs $60 which is a big rip-off. So why not cut out the middleman? Oh, and don’t forget to tip!! I didn’t realize I had to but it is customary, especially if you enjoyed yourself.
3/ Favorite place to stay - For the entire month, I stayed at Casa Huéspedes Pura Vida. The owners, Jorge and Pamela, are an absolute delight to be around. Though the location is a bit outside of Quepos which can make it tricky to get to and from Manuel Antonio area, especially at night, I absolutely LOVED the grounds. If you stay in one of the tiny houses as I did, you’ll overlook a small river which obviously attracts a lot of critters like a river otter, cool birds, and iguanas GALORE. The scenery made me feel like I was in Jurassic Park. To walk to town and nearby shops it takes about 20 minutes but it’s a nice peaceful walk. From there you can catch the local bus and pay around $1 USD. I also really loved the community kitchen and living space which allowed me to meet and connect with other travelers. I didn’t have a car during my stay but I almost always managed to catch a ride with others who did when I needed to go to town.
4/ Favorite place to buy groceries- To save costs, I mostly cook for myself when traveling. But food can be pricey here especially if you don’t know where to look. Pali happens to be the least inexpensive grocery store option (that I found) but I mostly used it for buying fruits/vegetables (although not always the best quality) and basics like beans and rice. Otherwise, I would buy my specialty items like almond milk, almonds, and chocolate at the Mini Price store. Be prepared to pay high dollar there though. During the month my meals looked like this: Breakfast - Oatmeal with almonds and fresh fruit (mango or apple) + Hot Cacao with honey and almond milk, Lunch - I usually packed a fresh salad with protein (two boiled eggs or canned tuna) and carried it with me to the beach or national park in a metal camping bowl I brought with me.) For dinner, I would make lentils, rice and veggies, egg tacos, or occasionally eat out.
5/ Favorite places to eat out - Though my Airbnb gave me a list of restaurants to eat out, like Soda Sanchez, I felt that he was giving me the names of places he thought tourists would like vs. places he actually liked. Luckily a new friend introduced me to Restaurant El Pollito in Quepos near the boardwalk. And I must say WOW. It’s the typical casado-style dish (chicken, rice, beans, salad, vegetables, and pasta) but the difference is that it costs half the price of anywhere else in town. Normally that dish would cost you around $10 (which is still a good deal) but here this dish was only $5! I love a good bargain, especially when it comes to food. Otherwise, I can recommend Vista Verde Restaurant for its ceviche and delicious beans. Dishes will run you $10 and up, however. Avion (the famous restaurant with a plane) has a great view, but I’d skip the food. Just order a drink and enjoy the scenery.
6/ Favorite way to get around - I recommend walking and using the local bus (~$1). You’ll see SO many critters on your walk and get to connect with some of the pure-hearted locals and sleepy stray dogs on your way. Otherwise Uber is pretty affordable here. A 20-minute ride from Casa Huespedes to Manuel Antonio Park ran me about $7. The problem is that at night sometimes the Uber drivers would refuse my ride or I wouldn’t be able to find a driver. Then I was stuck hailing a taxi which doubled the price (and required cash). Another option is jumping in a collectivo (a locally run taxi) which is slightly more expensive than the bus but will bring you directly to your place. They’ll usually cruise by a bus stop, toot their horn, and then you’ll jump in with a few others. I only did this when I was with my local friend for obvious reasons, but if you are feeling adventurous (and speak a little Spanish) you’ll be alright.
7/ Favorite tour guide at Manuel Antonio Park - If you visit the national park (which is probably why you are here in the first place) I HIGHLY recommend a tour guide. The reason is that they are trained to see animals you would never be able to see. All the guides also work together and alert each other when there is an animal around. They also have telescopes that will allow you to see the animals (like sloths) up close and personal. If you book the tour with Mauro through Airbnb you’ll only pay $30 per person (plus entry to the park) vs. $60. Mauro was super knowledgeable and you could tell he LOVED animals which made it fun every time he would spot another one. If you don’t want to splurge on the tour, you might be able to get away with following behind a tour. But you won’t be able to see the animals up close through the telescope.
8/ Favorite beach - Aside from swimming nude at Playa La Macha, I absolutely loved Biesanz Beach. To get there you’ll have to walk through a jungle. Once you’re there the beach is in a little nook surrounded by jungle which means the waves are fairly calm. You can rent chairs, kayaks, and paddleboards. There is also a bar where you can buy drinks, food, and fresh coconuts!!
9/ Miscellaneous favorites - I LOVED the fresh fruit smoothies blended with water (or milk if you prefer). You can find them at almost every restaurant and in various flavors. But pineapple or strawberry were my go-to’s. Speaking of fruit - the fresh pineapple and mango here are TO DIE FOR. I am even considering moving here and one of the reasons is to be able to have the most delicious fruit daily. LOL. I also loved the coconut vendors on the beach that roll by occasionally. You can get a fresh coconut with a straw for only $2! After you finish slurping you can ask them to cut it open for you so you can eat the coconut meat.
That’s it for now. If I think of more, I’ll be sure to add them to the list. Otherwise, let me know if you end up using any of these tips!! I absolutely fell in love with this little area - the critters, the people, and the FRUIT MY GOD and wanted to share the love with as many folks as possible. Enjoy!!
Feel free to share your own Manuel Antonio/Quepos favorites in the comments below!
3 Ways to Stay for Free While Traveling
Recently I was asked to give a talk to the Squarespace Germany Circle Team Meetup. I could have talked about anything related to web design or content marketing but lately, my favorite topic to talk about is how to exit the matrix and live a life on YOUR terms. Yep - I have spent the last decade navigating myself away from society’s expectations and now I am stoked about sharing my tips with anyone who will listen.
In the following blog post, I’ll share referral codes and links to sites that have helped me stay for free while traveling, which I’ll share below. I’ll try to update it frequently so make sure to check back often!
Here Are 3 Websites Where You Can Stay for Free While Traveling
1/ TrustedHousesitters.com - As a trusted housesitter you’ll usually be required to watch people’s animals in exchange for free accommodation. I’ve even stayed at places where I can use their vehicle as well. You can read my blog post about the site here. And if you want to sign up, you can do so with this link and receive a 25% discount on your membership (and I’ll get 2 free months.)
2/ Workaway.info - According to the site, a Workawayer is a traveler who wants to give back to the communities and places they visit. Open to helping hosts and using the experience to learn and immerse in the local culture. For every friend who joins with this link, you’ll get one month free and I’ll earn 3 months.
3/ Wwoof - World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms, or World Wide Organization of Organic Farms, is a network of national organizations that facilitate homestays on organic farms. Though I’ve never used the site myself, I know others who have good experiences. I don’t have a signup code, but here’s the site so you can browse yourself.
Some other tips I have for cheap accommodation are to 1. travel during the off-season. I am in Costa Rica right now and it’s rainy season so I am only paying $650 a month for a tiny house in the jungle and it’s GLORIOUS. I have iguanas walking around outside my window and macaws perched in the trees. 2. Contact your Airbnb host and ask for a discount. It never hurts to ask. 3. Stay with friends or family. The more of a traveler lifestyle you adopt, the more friends you’ll accumulate all over the world, and the more couch-surfing invites you’ll receive. 4. Host a Sister group on Facebook - if you are female-identifying, you can try to find a couch to crash on there.
Speaking of CouchSurfing, I would avoid the site CouchSurfing.com site, especially if you are female. I’ve had a few female friends who matched with creepy dudes trying to take advantage of them. No bueno.
That’s all I have for now - if I think of others I’ll make sure to add them to the list. Safe travels frens!
Do you have any other resources to share?
Yesterday I Was Happy, Today I Am Successful
Every so often I give myself a hard time. I make myself feel bad about not developing enough sellable skills that will make me more successful in the eyes of capitalism or spending all my money on plane tickets. Or I beat myself up about not having a 401k, a Master’s degree, or an age-appropriate wardrobe.
But today - today I feel successful. Let me tell you why.
After walking an hour towards a secret beach, I had to turn around and walk back in the same direction. The final twenty minutes of the journey happened to be alongside a swampy river I deemed “Crocodile Soup River” for its ominous overgrowth and precarious nature - and I just didn’t feel safe enough to venture onward. When I finally reached the main pathway to Quepos, a no-frills working-class city outside of the touristic zone and national park, I decided to take a break and sat down on a concrete bench overlooking the beach. I was on the second day of my period and bleeding quite heavily. In fact, I had already bled through my jean shorts. Normally I take it easy on the first few days of my flow for this exact reason but alas, I was in Costa Rica and wanted to explore every nook and cranny while I could (except for maybe the Crock Soup River.)
As I sat there and looked out at the horizon, I began to contemplate my life and felt overcome with happiness at the dream I had made a reality. I had been fantasizing about coming to Costa Rica for a while and in true Nicole fashion I could not just go for one or two weeks. I had to stay there for at least a month so I could feel like I truly lived there. And oh how much fun I had already been having just one week in.
Just as I began to scribble my happy thoughts in my journal, however, two adolescent girls, probably 11 or 12 sat down right next to me. I found it odd considering the bench directly next to us was completely empty. But then, I realized that they were actually acting very nervous. They were constantly glancing towards the right and then talking rapidly to one another.
I sensed their nervousness and said, “Are you ok?” They responded, in Spanish, that they didn’t speak any English. With my little knowledge of Spanish, I gathered that they were trying to hide from the man in a blue shirt, who happened to be sitting several benches down. My mama bear instinct kicked in and I quickly pulled out my translator app out and typed out, “Do you need me to walk you somewhere?”
“No, we are waiting for our ride,” one of the girls mentioned. At least that’s what I understood. Then one of them received a phone call and I inferred that their ride was close by. A few minutes later they stood up to leave and they said goodbye. I made eye contact and blew them an affirmative kiss. Though we couldn’t speak the same language they seemed to understand that I was telling them to be safe.
I already had plans to go to dinner so I stood up after them. That’s when I saw a man in a blue shirt a few benches down also stand up and begin following them from a distance.
So I did what any mama bear would do and I began to follow the man in the blue shirt who was following the girls. Though he was creepy I didn’t feel afraid of him. I could have easily kicked him in the nutsack and been on my merry way. My priority was on making sure the girls got to wherever they were going.
I had my phone clutched in my right hand as I sauntered slowly behind the blue-shirt man. Though my battery was low and I had no idea what the emergency hotline was in Costa Rica, I felt safe with my phone clutched tightly. I guess the blue shirt man started to suspect I was following him and perhaps he thought I was calling for backup. I didn’t want any trouble so I quickly crossed the street, my eye still on the girls far in front of me. The man glanced at me several times before stopping completely and sitting on a concrete slab in front of the bus station.
The girls were far enough ahead that I felt confident enough to let them continue on their own. I tucked away into the restaurant and let myself process what just happened.
What just happened is that two young girls, who could have been my children had I chosen to have them at a young age, felt that I was a safe haven for them, a place where they could seek shelter from a creepy man. And I must say I felt rather accomplished with this awareness.
Sure I don’t own a house. Every cent I save goes to fund my next adventure. I’ve been called every version of cheap you can imagine but I’ve seen more countries in the last year than most Americans will see in their entire lives. I also don’t have a family of my own. I never really wanted kids in my 20s because I was afraid they’d interfere with my nomadic lifestyle. A few years ago, however, like many women in their late thirties, I began wondering if I should have children. When my long-term partnership ended last year, I had to come to terms with the fact that I may never become a mom. And I’m not going to lie, it makes me sad sometimes, but I think that’s only because I haven’t heard of many (or any) women in their late thirties, or early forties who are living amazing lives, who are thriving, are fit and glowing and feeling fulfilled - and don’t have children.
But what I learned today is that though I am not a mom of my own kids, I can be a mom to the world. I can be a safe haven for anyone who needs reprieve at the moment. I can be that for others because I have learned to be that for myself. Traveling the world has built a kind of inner resilience and strength that is hard to come by otherwise. So while I may not own a house or have a pension, I know how to get myself and others out of some precarious situations, like avoiding becoming a Crocodile’s soufflé of the day or um, getting kidnapped.
I also know how to live.
Yesterday I hiked to several beaches before landing at one that was straight out of a magazine. As I was laying in the sand praying that I was not bleeding through my swimsuit onto the towel I snuck from my Airbnb, these words popped into my head, “This is the happiest day of my life, I am so happy right now.”
And it was true. Pura vida.
What does success mean to you? Do you think you are successful? Why or why not?
Eating Healthily AND Cheaply on Travel Days
So it’s been brought to my attention that people like to hear how I live an epic life for less outside of the Matrix, so in addition to sharing digital marketing hacks and emotional insights on this blog, I will also be sharing ways in which I afford my jet setting lifestyle.
Full transparency - my income ranges between $1000 and $2500 per month depending on the month. That’s the nature of freelance. For a lot of people who are living and working in “wealthy” countries, that is not a whole lot of money. But, I make it work.
And now I wanna share my tips with you so that you can feel empowered to make it work as well. Because the reality is that you don’t need to be a Kardashian to travel the world nor do you need to eat bread rolls and canned tuna for your entire trip (fun fact: I did this on a trip to Italy in my 20s and had AWFUL stomach problems the entire time. Luckily I know a bit more about nutrition now. LOL).
In this post, I will be covering one topic - eating healthily and cheaply while traveling but especially on travel days.
Here is a feast that I bought from Whole Foods in NYC for $22. This feast could have easily provided two dinners, two breakfasts, and snacks for two adults. If you do the math that’s $2.75 per meal per person (and I left the snacks out, so it’s actually even less).
That’s a WHOLE lot cheaper than eating at the airport. In fact, when I got to LGA, I briefly checked a packed restaurant to see how much they were charging for a meal. I would have easily paid $22 just for a hamburger and fries and I would have felt bloated and cranky for the rest of the evening.
So - here’s my “hack”. Plan ahead on travel days. Instead of relying on airport food, head to a grocery store and choose “whole” foods that will keep you feeling full. Here is a list of things to consider purchasing:
Protein bars (make sure to check the ingredients and skip any that have more than 5 ingredients). I like the RXBars because they have no BS in them.
A bagged salad with dressing, this Sweet Kale one is BOMB (make sure to mix the dressing in the salad before security otherwise it might get confiscated by TSA). I usually travel with a lidded stainless steel bowl so I can prepare my salad or oatmeal but if you don’t have one you can usually snag a cardboard or plastic box for free or a few cents (at Whole Foods for sure.) That way you can mix your salad and protein together. It’s much cheaper buying a bagged salad and mixing it yourself than buying a premade salad from the to-go section.
Nuts especially almonds or walnuts. Unsalted roasted sunflower seeds are a cheaper alternative.
Any raw veggies and fruits
And healthy proteins like:
canned tuna or sardines (if you are going to eat it on the plane, probably best to pick a different protein LOL).
I opted for falafel balls to save my fellow passengers from gagging.
Hardboiled eggs (you can usually buy these already cooked at most grocery stores in the US if you don’t have time to prepare in advance).
Low-sodium organic jerky (these can get costly, I usually only buy if there is a sale). Watch out for sodium intake, especially before a flight - you don’t want to arrive at your destination all puffed up.
Rotisserie chicken (particularly great if you are a group of friends or a small family, then you can buy the whole chicken)
If you are landing somewhere late, make sure to have some snacks to tide you over until morning, like RX Bars. Don’t take a chance on restaurants being open or near your accommodation. I also always like to bring something for breakfast in the morning because I like to eat first thing when I wake up and I just don’t want to have to worry about going out and getting breakfast. I find that oatmeal, nuts, and fruit will usually tide me over.
There you have it! There’s how I stay full, satisfied, and nourished - for cheap - on travel days. I hope it helps :)
What are YOUR favorite travel day meals or snacks?
The Perks of Solo Traveling
Being a solo traveler has its perks.
I don’t have to wait for someone to finish getting ready to leave the Airbnb. Or choose a restaurant that appeals to someone’s food sensitivities or preferences. I don’t have to wait until someone else is hungry to eat. I can go to sleep at nine if I’m tired and not have to worry about someone teasing me for being a grandma and then proceed to leave the bright lights on thus delaying my slumber.
Overall I am embracing traveling with my number one, my ride or die, my BFF - me, but I’m not going to lie, sometimes it absolutely blows. Like recently when I got charged $150 for a scratch on a rental car. and didn’t have a buddy to commiserate with. Or when I booked a surfing lesson a week in advance and then was told the day before that I’d be charged $10 more for a private lesson because no one else signed up. I canceled the lesson informing the instructor that I didn’t find it fair that I was being punished because they didn’t have enough customers. Petty, maybe, but it was the principle of the matter!
Being a solo traveler, I’m realizing, is mostly good except when it comes to splitting the costs of unexpected financial surprises, booking tours or surfing lessons, or…..sharing your experiences with someone. Sometimes I just want someone to witness my frustration and tell me everything is going to be ok. Sometimes I just want someone to give me a reassuring hug or kiss on the forehead. Sometimes I just wanna snuggle in bed for a few minutes before both of us grab our phones and get sucked into the virtual vortex. Alas, at this time in my life, I have to learn how to do those things for myself. And I think I’m doing a pretty good job. Mostly.
Yesterday though my data on my phone quit working while I was driving and I couldn’t figure out how to get to the trailhead I had chosen. At that moment I did say some of my favorite expletives and I may or may not have screamed bloody murder, but, I took care of business. Using whatever info Google Maps had already downloaded, I was able to navigate myself to another point of attraction on my list instead, the Nauyaca Waterfalls, a beautiful 2.5-mile hike to a majestic 5-tiered waterfall.
As I was hiking to the falls, I found myself appreciating the fact that this magical place and I had found each other by some small miracle, a miracle that probably wouldn’t have happened had I had a co-pilot with working internet. When I reached the falls I felt an intense wave of happiness wash over me, suddenly the words book the trip popped into my mind. When in doubt, book the trip. Don’t wait for your fantasy honeymoon. Or until your friends have time off from work. Or until your sister’s kids are grown and she can accompany you. BOOK THE TRIP. Tears filled my eyes. I was so happy that I made this dream of being in Costa Rica come true for myself.
After marveling at the gushing falls for a minute, I gleefully asked a family of three if one of them would be willing to take my picture with the waterfall as the backdrop. You see, one of the side effects of traveling solo is that you don’t have someone around who has the patience to take the perfect photo of you. One woman was making her boyfriend do a full-on photoshoot of her swimming towards the waterfall and then posing sexily on a rock in her thong bikini, her long hair cascading down like she was on a cover for Sports Illustrated. I felt bad for the boyfriend but he didn’t seem to mind.
One of the family members I asked obliged my own photoshoot request and counted down as I posed with the waterfall.
He handed the phone back and asked if it was ok. Before I even looked at the picture I replied “Perfect, thanks”. I didn’t want to inconvenience him any more than I already had or worse, make him think I was vain.
But in actuality, the picture was dorky AF. Sure I looked happy but I didn’t look cute, mysterious, or anywhere near how I WANTED to look. I attempted to take a few selfies with the timer on, but couldn’t get a good angle. Eventually, I gave up and headed back to the car.
Later that day I shared the photo on Instagram and was honest about the lengths it took to get the photo as well as the thoughts that ran through my head afterward. Because, while I am having a blast exploring Central America on my own, and am still learning to embrace the perks of solo traveling, I do really miss having a person to share these awesome experiences with.
But I guess I can be grateful that I have the internet to share it with - LOL. You’re welcome :)
I just want to make sure that I am remaining present for all of it. All the ups and all the downs. When shit doesn’t go as planned, I’m learning how to self-soothe while simultaneously navigating myself to calmer waters, and when life delivers me a majestic waterfall I’m letting myself eke out tears of joy and then pose for a stupidly dorky photo taken by a kind albeit talentless stranger.
Have you ever traveled solo? What was your experience? I’d love to hear about it.
Bad Day? Dogs + Nature Will Fix Everything
Despite what my Instagram stories might reveal, I had been feeling down the past few days.
After almost 7 weeks away from my friends and community I started too long for meetups with friends and familiar comforts like my weekly ukulele class, riding my bike, and grocery shopping whenever I wanted to. Not to mention the temperatures in Portugal started to rise like crazy leaving me feeling out of sorts.
It wouldn’t be such a bad thing if I had four walls and a ceiling where I could hide from the sun during the hottest part of the day and/or reliable transportation to and from the beach. But I happened to be volunteering on a farm and was expected to work from around 10 in the morning until 3 or so in the afternoon. Afterward, I had to do my “real” job of helping Conscious Business Owners share their gifts with the world. It was a lot.
But again, it wouldn’t have been so bad if I had had four walls and a roof to protect me and reliable internet to count on.
But that was not the case. Instead, I had an old wooden table, uneven ground, an army of ants hell-bent on eating me alive no matter where I sat, a hard wooden patio chair from Ikea, unstable internet, and a floppy umbrella. That was my “office” for the past few weeks. Charming at first, and extremely frustrating thereafter.
At night I retreated to my tent around 8p because that’s when the bugs came out. I’d usually read or organize my suitcase for the umpteenth time before turning the lights out. If I was lucky enough to catch a wifi signal I’d look up a ukulele song on Ukutabs.com and quietly strum along, cognizant of the fact that sound seemed to travel very well in the valley, much better than the wifi seemed to. There is no reason why anyone should have to hear me screeching out Fast Car by Tracy Chapman.
This particular experience started to make me rethink this whole Workaway thing. When I joined the site which matches volunteers with various projects, my intention was to learn as much as I could about building a homestead, owning land, and tending a garden, all the while saving money by not having to pay for accommodation, but I suppose you have to be very careful about who link up with. Some people, it seems, just want to avoid paying cleaning ladies and farm hands. They don’t care so much about whether or not it’s a mutually beneficial exchange. Which is what happened in my case.
Because of that, I had been feeling down. So yesterday I decided to quit my gig a few days early. On my long hot walk down a dusty dirt road into town, I began thinking about when I feel the most happy. Two things came to mind: when I am moving and when I am around animals. That’s when I remembered a woman I’d met recently told me that there was an animal shelter in the neighboring city that welcomed dog walkers.
You wouldn’t believe how excited I was to find the details of the shelter! And so I took a 10-euro Uber ride to Aljezur the following morning.
As soon as I arrived I expected a debriefing of the animals but the woman simply asked if I had any experience. I told her I had recently been volunteering at ARA and yes had plenty of experience with dogs. She came back with an older meaty dog named Ruca and sent me on my way. I asked her which way to go and she said: “It doesn’t matter, whichever way you feel”.
I took off with my new furry friend and he seemed to be having a hard time getting up the hill <insert Kate Bush joke here>. Halfway up he began dry heaving. I guess he wasn’t a fan of the rising temperatures either.
When we returned, the volunteer asked if I wanted another dog to walk. “Sure” I replied emphatically, I was just getting started.
I made the mistake of mentioning the slower pace of the first dog and they brought me one who was the complete opposite, a 1.5-year-old named Urso with a LOT of energy and zero clue about how to walk on a leash. “Take him through the city so he can learn how to behave,” the volunteer instructed me. “Sure?” I asked. It didn’t seem like a good idea. She smiled mischievously. And off we went.
We did in fact go through the city of Aljezur, a medieval town with narrow sidewalks and castle remnants at its peak. My furry friend struggled as did I, he seemed anxious at all the sights and sounds. But we managed and eventually found our way back. By this time I was exhausted but I couldn’t resist when they asked if I wanted to take another dog on a walk. This time, they gave me a sweetie named Jofre who was perfect on the leash and had enough energy to go up the hill but not enough to pull me up the hill.
At the end of my third walk, the volunteers thanked me fervently telling me that there weren’t so many volunteers there that day and it helped out a lot. My heart felt warm and I was no longer feeling down. It was a win all around.
So…if you are ever near Aljezur, Portugal and you love dogs and hiking, I HIGHLY recommend checking out AEZA. They ask for walkers on Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday but check their website for any updates. The surrounding areas of the shelter are beautiful and you’ll be doing a BIG service to all the cuties awaiting their forever homes.
How do you boost your mood when you feel down? Let me know in the comments below!
Embracing Singlehood
For anyone who has been partnered for many years, you know how hard (and awkward) it can be to transition to happily single. Not only do you have to get used to not having a warm body to cuddle and share home-cooked meals with, but you also have to get used to not having the mental and emotional support that comes from having a person. Though I tend to be quite independent in relationships, traveling solo and actively pursuing personal hobbies or interests, I love to share my life’s ups and downs with a special someone. Yes, I do this with a few close friends, but the level of intimacy and detail is different in a partnership.
For the last few weeks I have been volunteering at Animal Rescue Algarve and it has been healing in many ways. The first week I was here I went off the grid - I barely wrote to my best friend back home, only sent her a message here and there telling her I wanted to stay mum so I could process the transition. I even refrained from contacting either of my recent exes, one of which I still remain close friends with. As a big dog lover himself, I badly wanted to send him pictures and videos of the adorable doggos I was encountering daily - but I resisted.
I needed to break my habit of seeking validation from my partner and instead give myself that validation.
Sure - the dogs were adorable.
The surrounding nature was magical, with wildflowers and fresh lemons abloom.
And my body felt truly nourished with the combination of manual labor and the warm sun.
But it had to be enough that I was satisfied.
And I was. I was truly happy for the first time in a long while. Even if I didn’t have someone to share every detail with.
With every day I resisted seeking outside validation I felt my love of self, deepen. Once again I had overcome a difficult situation and had followed my curiosity towards happiness. I was proud of that.
And so on my days off a week ago, I followed my curiosity to Lagos. Though I was excited, the newness of the volunteer gig had started to wear off and the underlying sadness and disappointment from the past year had been slowly creeping back in. I started to throw myself a little pity party on the train but then about halfway there I told myself, “Look at you, doing EXACTLY what you love — you are in Portugal, volunteering for causes that light you up, surrounded by loving animals and people who love animals as much as you, traveling on your off days to explore a new city AND you are treating yourself to a Stand Up Paddleboard adventure through the caves.”
It was like someone flicked a switch and I no longer felt sad. I walked off that train with my head held high and my grin stretched wide. I was finally starting to embrace singlehood and all the benefits that it brings such as spontaneous travel and doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it.
The next morning, the tour almost got canceled because there weren’t enough people signed up (the guide didn’t want to only take one person out on the water because it wasn’t worth his time, a minor detail that might have sent newly singled me spiraling) Luckily though, someone booked the tour last minute and so I was able to conquer a fear of the ocean and see some pretty amazing sights in the process. For two hours straight I was grinning from ear to ear, even when I lost my balance and flipped backward off my board. Life was GOOD as a solo traveling female. Possibilities were endless. And joy was boundless.
Can you relate? I’d love to hear about how you transitioned from being coupled to being single
You Can Have It All, Just Not At The Same Time
In my most recent virtual therapy session, I found myself explaining to my therapist that I wanted to be able to travel freely and also be grounded somewhere. From what it sounded it like, it seemed like she was trying to persuade me otherwise. I think she thinks that my wanderlust is me running away from something she has yet to discover. That’s when I told her matter of factly, “You know, I believe I can have it all.” She didn’t say much more. Our session was nearly done and I don’t think either of us wanted to open up a new can of worms.
A few days later though, I was listening to a cheesily titled self-help book about manifestation on my free library app called “Calling in the One”, when the narrator said these words, “You can have it all, just not at the same time.” I immediately rewound it so that I could jot it down in the notes section of my phone along with all the other million-dollar ideas and quality insights that pop into my mind never to be read again. Except the universe wasn’t ready for me to forget this phrase so hastily.
A few days more passed and I found myself in Loulé, Portugal (where I still am) volunteering at an animal rescue center called Animal Rescue Algarve. Before bed last night I was chatting with my roommate, a 41-year-old Belgian woman who had been volunteering at the organization for a few months already, about traveling and living the life of a wanderer. That’s when she began opening up to me about the inner torment she was feeling about having to return to Belgium in a few months. “The thought of sitting at a desk working a 9 to 5 sounds dreadful,” she moaned. “When I’m home,” she continued, “my need for community is fulfilled, but when I’m traveling, my need for adventure and freedom is fulfilled.” I thought I could sense a twinge of sadness or confusion lingering beneath her words, but that’s when she perked up and said, “I’ve come to realize that I can have it all, just not at the same time.”
A big grin appeared on my face. Though I hadn’t felt an instant connection to her, I suddenly felt like I’d found a kindred spirit. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to come on this adventure was so that I could meet people who shared my mercurial nature, whimsical spirit, and undying wanderlust. My therapist and most of my friends in Berlin (and worldwide) loved to travel but they either had kids, plants, partners, steady jobs, property, (or all of the above) to look after and couldn’t just freely roam around the planet whenever they wanted to as I could. And so I felt like I hadn’t found anyone who could truly relate to this deep desire of mine to be everything, everywhere, all at once. Until now. Here I was in sunny Portugal sharing a trailer with someone who was as thinly tethered to the place she called home as I was, and who was also practicing arranging her life in a way that would satisfy her conflicting needs for stability and for wanderlust.
For the first time in a long time, I am no longer partnered. Though I haven’t quite figured out how to set up my life, I feel that I am getting closer to figuring it out. I’ve pretty much accepted that it won’t be a conventional setup - and that’s ok because I can (and I will) have it all… a dog (or two) nuzzled up next to me, sun on my face, friends who have become family surrounding me, a partner with a kindred wanderlust spirit by my side, the ability to drop everything and volunteer around the world for causes that ignite my soul or visit family in familiar, far off lands just so I can laugh with them under the same roof, and maybe even a cute kid bouncing around on my lap… I just might not be able to have it all at the same time.
Oh, life - how beautiful and strange you truly are.
Can you relate to the phrase, “you can have it all just not at the same time’? If so, I’d love to hear about it :) I am always keen on connecting with other free spirits.
I Meditated in a Polish Forest for 10 Days (For Free), Here's What I Learned
I spent the last 2 weeks in the middle of nowhere Poland learning an ancient meditation technique with 99 other curious souls.
I should have taken it as a sign to turn back when Tomek, my Polish taxi driver started playing “Highway to Hell” as we turned off onto the dirt road leading us to the center.
I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into just that I had been curious about Vipassana for a few years now. I had one scheduled in 2020 but it was to take place the same week that the world shut down. And so it was canceled. I was bummed but figured it wasn’t the right time.
Now though, it felt like the right time probably because I am at a crossroads in my life, debating whether to stay in Berlin and continue to build upon the life I’ve created over the last 8 years - or try living a truly digital nomad life for a while. Moving somewhere warm and cheap while saving money to buy some land in the desert.
What better way to uncover your deepest desires than to sign up for a 10-day silent meditation retreat?
Oh, did I not mention it was a silent endeavor? Yep, that meant no talking, no communicating (verbal or nonverbal), no eye contact, no reading, no journalling, no listening to music or watching Netflix, and absolutely no texting or calling for 10 whole days. In fact, they even confiscate your phone and put it in a special locker so you aren’t tempted to sneak in some late-night scrolling.
At first, I thought this sounded like an introvert’s dream. I feel like I have been practicing my WHOLE life for this very thing - if averting eye contact and frivolous small talk were an Olympic sport, I’d be a gold medalist by now. But a few hours in, I felt like quitting. I actually wanted to quit every day I was there, fantasizing about running away in the middle of the night (although I’d have to tell someone unless I was prepared to leave my phone behind).
But I didn’t.
I kept showing up for nothing else than to prove that I was capable of doing hard things.
You see, I have built a pretty comfortable life for myself. I don’t have to go into a job so no boss or co-workers to worry about. I can travel whenever I want and schedule my day as I see fit. I also don’t have any kids or pets (or even a plant at the moment) that require care or attention which means I can go with my own whims. While this sounds like a fun and carefree life (it is) it’s also made me one fragile human being that seems to spiral at the smallest amount of stress. Also, the more options I seem to have, the harder it is for me to feel grounded enough to make a damn decision. So for me, attending this retreat was a very extreme version of stepping outside of my comfort zone so that I can 1. toughen the F up and 2. get clear about what it is I truly want from life.
The Facility
Despite the strict regimen of waking up at 4a to meditate and not being able to make any contact with the outside world, the facility itself was quite nice. I even had my own room and bathroom (a perk to choosing the Polish center vs. other Vipassana centers in the world). They also fed us two delicious meals a day and a fruit/tea break for “dinner”. And we had a considerable amount of downtime to walk around their small patch of woods or soak up some sun (when it came out.)
Still, though, the days seemed to creep by. Those 10 days were the longest days of my life. Every day I had to invent ways to entertain myself - plucking my eyebrows, clipping my toenails, crunching pine cones, playing with sticks, changing the pace of my walking, and napping. It was so funny to see how others entertained themselves as well. People were even hand washing their clothes in the sink and hanging them out to dry the second day in. Yes, we were all that bored.
Would I do it again?
Maybe. Though I am very grateful for the experience (more on that in a second) I am not sure I would need to go through such extreme measures again. That being said one of the things I loved the MOST about the retreat was the people I met. The fact that there are centers all over the world is also really special. I know that no matter where I am in the world or what is going on in my life, I can always drop into a retreat and meet like-minded, open-hearted souls on a similar journey. This feeling of community was something I have been missing - and since I am thinking about becoming a vagabond soon it’s a relief to know that community is available wherever I happen to be. If I went back though, I would likely go as a server or volunteer. The hardest part for me was all the downtime. I would have much rather been helping to prepare lunch or cleaning than playing with sticks for example.
And now for the insights…
I was able to finally let go of certain resentments I thought I had already healed. Though I thought I’d made peace with past relationships - as it turns out I was still catastrophizing them. I was doing the opposite of romanticizing these relationships - I was still gripping onto the pain, the toxicity, and the torment they had caused me. What I realized when I was curled up like a pretzel and deep in meditation, however, was that these relationships (whether familial, romantic, or business) were actually really lovely at times. Some of the best days of my life, for example, were spent on a trip with an ex-business partner. I had parked a big black cloud over this relationship and “accepted” it but failed to remember the intense joy I had also received from our time together. Tears welled up and streamed down when I had this realization. When we fail to acknowledge the whole of something - the “good”, the “bad”, and the neutral - we remain trapped in the highs (or lows) and are never truly free.
I learned how to recognize my bodily sensations as soon as they arise. Goenka’s teachings focus heavily on learning how to recognize the sensations in the body because he says that every emotion or reaction first initiates as a sensation in the body. And if we can fine-tune our spidey senses to detect either subtle or gross sensations as they come up, we can all stop being so reactive, thus leading us to make more clear and loving decisions.
I learned that I love my life and am eternally grateful for the beings that I continue to cross paths with.
Was it worth it? I’d say so, yeah. Especially because the whole experience was my favorite price (Free.99). The center requests that you make a donation to them afterward if you feel that the experience has been valuable to you, but they aren’t pushy about it. And once you have immersed yourself in this tranquil place for 10 days, your heart is so full of immense gratitude for all the folks who had to coordinate their time and efforts that the donation just comes naturally. So yea, definitely worth it :)
Want to know more about my time there? Considering a Vipassana retreat or something similar and have questions? Feel free to reach out. Although if you feel a calling to do something like this I urge you to just go ahead and do it with minimal input from others. That way you’ll be able to get what you need out of it vs. comparing your experience to others.
How This Desert Witch Stays Places for Free When Traveling
I am currently typing this from a table facing a large window with a view of desert landscape and the Catalina mountains in the distance. There is a babbling dipping pool outside beckoning me to dip my feet despite the colder temperatures, and well the sun is shining. I don’t have much on the agenda today except go on a hike nearby and finish up some work things. Sounds like a dream? Well, it certainly feels that way!!
An Oro Valley dream, that is. Oro Valley is a suburb in the north of Tucson. And I’m staying in a large three-bedroom adobe-like house in a peaceful neighborhood at the foot of the mountains. This house is backed up to protected land so no nosy neighbors lurking in (unless you consider a bobcat carrying his prey a nosy neighbor).
What if I told you that I was staying here, alone, for the low price of nothing? What if I told you I also got to use the Subaru parked in the garage? And eat and drink anything in the cupboard?
You might think, “well that’s nice of your parents.”
Guess again.
My parents are lovely and will come to visit me while I’m here, but have nothing to do with this arrangement.
Nope.
The reason I can call this magical place home for three weeks is that I am a trusted house sitter. That’s right. People entrust me with their house while they are on holiday. That means I also have to take care of plants, bring in the mail, and snuggle their pets (a bonus if you ask me!!)
This time I am in charge of snuggling a 14-year-old Chihuahua mix who is wrinkled and gray and has stairs to get up the couch and the bed. His breath stinks but he is awfully stinking cute so I don’t mind.
Not all house sits are for this long or include the use of a car. But if you are looking for an affordable way to travel the world, you might also consider joining the site, especially if you are a digital nomad who has flexibility with moving around.
There are different plans you can buy but the cheapest is around 100 per year, a great deal even if only use it for one night.
And the best part — is the friends (furry and otherwise) you’ll make along the way. You are staying in someone’s home, so it’s much cozier than a hotel. You get exposed to different foods, ways of life, and books, I LOVE to scan people’s bookshelves :)
So, if you are ever wondering how I am able to afford to travel the world, here’s one of my little not-so-secrets.
Happy housesitting!!