How to Feel Richer Than Any of the Kardashians Combined
This week was a wild ride.
I found out an old coworker of mine passed away from cancer. He was a young father of two little girls and had been battling stage 4 cancer for a few years.
That a neighbor of ours had a stroke on the way to the supermarket.
That my aunt’s husband passed away from a heart attack. He started feeling symptoms at his son’s wedding but didn’t want to disturb the ceremony.
On a lighter note, I also found out that my younger sister, who is graduating from high school with honors soon, received a scholarship to attend my alma mater. I sent her some money with a note attached that read the following:
Congratulations on your BIG achievement. I am SO proud of you and can't wait to see what amazing things you do for the world!! If I could offer one piece of advice it would be this: TRAVEL as often as you can!! - see the world, taste different foods, immerse yourself in other cultures, attempt to talk to locals even when you don't speak the same language, and try to stay in one place for a while if you can (at least a few weeks) so you really feel what it's like to live there. If you follow this advice - your life will always be rich (even if you aren't haha). I love you so very much!!
While I stand behind my message, the truth is, I needed this reminder myself because sometimes I feel like I am behind financially to my childhood friends, many of whom own their own houses and have stable jobs with good pensions. Sometimes I feel like I’m not working hard enough - like I should be doing something more productive with my time than practicing ukulele or playing beach volleyball. Some of my friends are new moms and swear they are in love with their little humans. I believe them, but again, it makes me question my own life choices. Should I start a family and finally put down roots somewhere?
But then I hear devastating news like the first few points I listed in the beginning and I am reminded of the fragility of life. Life is too short to compare yourself to others. Or to try to live a life that makes others proud. Instead, we should all be living life to its fullest in every way possible, in whatever way works for us. For some, that means bringing new humans into the world or devoting your life to a project or passion. For others, like me, that means traveling the world and experiencing the beauty of the world firsthand.
And that’s exactly what I am doing.
Case in point - I am currently clacking away on my laptop in Crete. Every day that we’ve been here, my partner and I have either been working out together on the balcony that overlooks the sea, climbing steep mountains while the rocky earth crunches beneath our boots, eating locally grown vegetables doused in olive oil, or alternating between bathing in the salty sea and warm sun.
Now the time here hasn’t all been dolmades and yogurt. I am apparently allergic to olive trees which happen to be blooming right now - which causes my eyes to itch and nose to consistently feel like a loaded canon. Our Airbnb has had many water-related issues, no hot water sometimes, no water at all at other times, and today, well today, water was shooting out of the wall of the bathroom sink. And yesterday I ate chicken souvlaki that may or may not have been a leather handbag.
But as annoying as these things are at the moment, I wake up every day grateful for the life I’ve created and for the people I’ve helped in the process.
Though I may not be a homeowner or have an impressive retirement plan, I LOVE my life. And that’s what being a CBO is all about - not becoming the next influencer, selling millions of memberships to your coaching program, or getting on the bestseller list. It’s about living your life, your one precious life, to the fullest so that you can inspire others to do the same.
And that, my friend, is the secret to feeling richer than any of the Kardashians combined.
The Dark Side of Traveling
I love to travel. One of the reasons I moved to Berlin was so that I would have easy access to many of the cities I've always dreamed of visiting. It’s much easier to justify a “weekend in Barcelona” when the flight only costs 60 euros. That being said, if you follow my Instagram, chances are you are only seeing one side of the story (one that is likely filtered and happy.) The truth is, traveling can be tough; physically, emotionally, and financially. Granted I wouldn’t change one single thing about my globetrotting life, I do want to shine some light on some of the perils that travel brings.
Not everyone makes a good traveler. I always get nervous when traveling with friends for the first time. You can’t always tell who will make a good traveler until you’re up shit creek without a paddle. For me, a perfect traveling buddy is easy going, fiscally responsible (aka cheap like me), and ok with doing things solo sometimes. Luckily, I have found a few great friends in Berlin that also make great traveling companions.
Like the roller coaster of life, there are ups and downs when traveling. Sometimes you are the chipper one. Sometimes you are the bitter one. It’s important that you have a travel buddy that is comfortable picking you up when you’re low (and vice versa.) It’s also important that you can relish in the happy times together.
Recently I traveled to Amsterdam with my flatmate and one of my best gal pals. We decided it would be a good idea to stay on a ship (appropriately named The Ship of Fools.) It was quite an experience, though one I never want to experience again.
There was no wifi, no running water for a shower, and we had to climb down a metal ladder to reach the loo (not an easy task in the middle of the wet, rainy night.) Sure we could have dwelled on the fact that our bed had ants, the door had no lock, and that the room was freezing, but we didn’t.
You know what we did, instead?
We made each other laugh. We laughed harder than ever before. We laughed until our stomachs hurt from laughing too much, and then we laughed some more. We took pictures of each other swinging on the ship’s bowlines like drunken pirates. We danced like fools. We brushed our teeth with bottled water and spit it over the side of the ship.
It wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns, however…
There was one night I broke down. I was tired. We had to take a bus for 45 minutes and then walk another 20 minutes in the cold, windy night. We were crashing at a friend’s place our last night and they lived far from the city center. Though I was happy to not be on The Ship of Fools, I was exhausted, so exhausted. When we finally arrived to their place, I broke down.
I cried. I cried because I was tired. I cried because I was dirty. I cried because I wanted to be be back in Berlin, in my bed. I cried because I am a human and no matter how happy of a human you are, sometimes you just break down.
Though that day had been one of the best days of my life, I had reached my breaking point. My friend was a perfect angel in that moment. She hugged me, gave me some water, told me to get some sleep and assured me that it would be better in the morning. She showed me the kind of tenderness I can only ever remember my mom giving me. I felt very cared for in that moment and it put me at ease so that I could fall asleep.
When I woke up, I was better, much better. It was my turn to be positive. It was my turn to care for her. I could tell she wanted to be home as well. I could tell she was tired. I made a point to show her extra kindness.
Every time I go on a trip, I come back enlightened. Traveling requires you to leave your comfort zone, forces you to confront the ugly sides of your personality, requires that you acknowledge the darkness, the downside, the lows, and then use it for fuel to keep smiling, laughing, and enjoying the moment. Sometimes it’s challenging to find the lightness in a shitty situation. Sometimes it’s damn near impossible. But that’s ok too. It’s not normal to go around smiling all the time. I feel so lucky to have friends that I can be myself around, even during moments of negativity. Find yourself travel companions (and life companions) that you can say the following to:
Thank you for letting me be myself.
Thank you for not making me feel bad when I have moments of darkness, weakness or negativity.
I promise that these "dark" moments will be few and far between, but I need to have them sometimes.
I appreciate that you listen to me when I feel the darkness closing in and I appreciate that you don’t let me dwell in the darkness alone for too long.
Tomorrow I am traveling to Malta, a small country south of of Italy. One of the islands in Malta is said to have been the home of the nymph Calypso in Homer’s Odyssey. I am looking forward to the challenges that the weekend trip will bring, but mostly I am excited to warm my bones in the sun, to let the salty air fill my lungs, and to laugh uncontrollably with friends that feel more like my family.
Ich liebe mein Leben.
Traveling is ALWAYS a good idea :)
This past month I decided to take a spontaneous trip to Stockholm, Sweden. My DJ friend Lady Blacktronika was playing a gig in Stockholm and I thought it would be fun to jet set with her. After all, traveling around Europe was one of my main reasons for deciding to move to Berlin in the first place. "Why not?" I told myself, "I deserve this."
As it turns out, taking last minute vacations can be quite pricey. I had buyer's remorse immediately after purchasing the ticket. In a panic I messaged my DJ friend on Facebook, “What am I doing with my life?” To which she simply replied, “living.”
Still not entirely convinced, I messaged another friend telling her how anxious I was that I had just spent so much money on a 2 day trip. Her response? “It’s traveling, traveling is always a good idea.”
Ok, well that settles it. I was going to go and enjoy myself. I am so thankful to have friends that value travel and life experiences as much as me. Now that I think about it most of my friends have travelled and lived all over the world. We all share a common thread, we are citizens of the world and we all value the ability to spread our wings when the cities we live in become smaller than our ideas.
If you are looking for some motivation to spend your money on experiences and not things here’s an article and a TED talk that might help.
Well the story doesn’t end there. At the airport on my way to Sweden, I was informed that I was getting bumped to the next flight. Because of the inconvenience the airline was giving me a €250 voucher for another flight. Others may have been perturbed by the inconvenience, but not me. I looked at it as a peace offering from the travel gods above--two trips for the price of one!
So the next time you are contemplating whether or not to spend money on travel, let me tell you, you won't regret it. Traveling is always a good idea.
As much as I loved the bulle (a flaky, chewy cinnamon and cardamom Swedish roll), the aromatic coffee, the beautiful boatscapes, and the calmness of the city, I was so happy to return to Berlin. Berlin may be rough around the edges but so am I. I love this city.