What is Self-Work?
As a Conscious Business Owner myself, I know firsthand how important it is to have a solid self-work practice in place. Not only does it help keep me grounded and connected to my WHY, but it ensures that I am keeping my heart space open for new ideas and opportunities to come flowing through.
Though self-work sounds like a chore, like washing the dishes or vacuuming the floor, it’s actually a very enjoyable process (once, of course, you get over the shock of stepping outside of your comfort zone and potentially meeting all of your insecurities.) So what is it?
What is self-work?
Self-work is any action you take toward self-improvement. Everyone needs self-work, even if you are the most well-adjusted human being. Why? Because we’ve been conditioned to believe that once we become adults, our fun days are over. We must get a good job, pay our taxes, get married, have children, and then retire. Maybe once we retire we will finally have some time to explore our interests, enroll in a painting class or take up tap dancing. We put off the things that could potentially enrich our lives because we fear rejection, failing, falling, or being made a fool. But what if I told you that courage is not something you’re born with neither is “feeling happy”, “being overjoyed”, or “feeling at peace”? These are things you have to WORK at. Think of them like muscles you have to work out.
We are more than our identities — you are not just a boss, mom, sister, taxpayer, or community member. You are SO much more than that. And it’s YOUR responsibility to uncover who that is so you can live the most joyful life possible.
Why is self-work important?
The best way I know how to describe the process of self-work is that it’s a returning of home to oneself. Along the journey home, you’ll discover the things that make you tick, that make your eyes light up, and that fills your heart with joy and make you feel A L I V E. The best part about the whole process, is that you already have ALL you need to get started. You have all the answers you already need to be located within you (though they are likely buried deep under many years of conditioning.) That’s why I wanted to write this post so that I could share some examples of self-work that worked for me in my own uncovering process.
What is the difference between self work and self care?
While self-care and self-love are important parts of the puzzle, they are also frequently used as buzzwords, clickbait, or marketing schticks. If a company ever tries to convince you that self-love or self-care is equivalent to “treating yo’self” to whatever product they’re slinging— run away immediately, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with self-care or self-love. The reason I chose to call self-work, “work” is because I wanted to emphasize the fact that you’ll need to do something different if you want to achieve change. If you are unsatisfied with the way your life is going, putting in self-work will not only allow you to live a more joyful, passionate, and purposeful life but it will inspire others around you to do the same damn thing. After all, only I am accountable for my own happiness. Not my friends, not my partner, not my boss. Self-work such as learning a new skill for your resume, delving deeper into a topic of interest, or learning how to make repairs around your house has the power to empower, enlighten and inspire.
What self-work isn’t:
Bath bombs and face masks. Self-work is hard work. It takes time, effort, self-compassion, and patience, a lot of patience. Digging, hurting, feeling, removing, rebuilding, and failing is tough, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. It is worth it and the reward is tenfold.
How do I work on myself every day?
Good question. While this answer will vary from person to person depending on cultural background, personal preferences, and other factors, I can provide some examples of things that I count as self-work.
Here are some examples of things that count as “self-work”:
Meditating every day even when I don’t feel like it
Eating mindfully, and paying attention to how different foods make me feel immediately after
Nourishing my body with colorful, organic foods
Dancing often
Stretching nightly
Practicing yoga
Sticking my belly out when I breathe
Laughing loudly with my whole body
Listening more than I speak
Recognizing my own privilege
Using my privilege to help someone in my community
Creating for the sake of creating; painting, collaging, writing
Hanging up those creations on my refrigerator or sending screenshots to friends
Playing an instrument badly but with a lot of chutzpah
Practicing random acts of kindness until they aren’t random anymore
Decluttering my living space, desk space, car, purse, or backpack
Walking in the grass/or on the earth barefoot
Exploring the nature around my neighborhood
Freeing myself from distractions (i.e. taking a technology timeout, putting my phone on airplane mode)
Spending time with a child or dog and doing as they do (i.e, howl, shake your tail, throw your head back in laughter.)
Giving a compliment to a stranger (if I can’t think of something nice to say, I’ll lock eyes and flash a cheesy smile)
Writing down a list of 5 things I enjoyed doing when I was 8, then doing those things
Swinging on a swing
Taking a new route home
Attending a workshop that piques my interest: kombucha brewing, rock climbing, poetry writing, storytelling
Organizing (or attending) a book club, new moon club, cooking club, tarot reading club, or just ANY KINDA CLUB
Standing on a stage at an open mic night and reading a page from my middle school diary
Making myself vulnerable
Traveling
Identifying my triggers
Telling the people you love the most that they are the people you love the most
Going to a therapist regularly
Being selective of the media I consume
Being responsible for the energy I bring into a room
Expressing gratitude out loud whenever possible (& sending thank you cards for everything)
Reflecting on how far I’ve come
Questioning the status quo
Paying attention to the bodily sensations that arise when I’m around certain people or in certain environments
Not letting my emotions overpower me, control me, or suffocate me
Manifesting something W I L D
Checking in with my mental, physical, and emotional state regularly
Listening to my gut (literally and figuratively)
Focusing on the things that matter most
Forgiving my enemies (including the biggest baddest one of them all…myself)
Empathizing with everyone I meet
Being, just being (I am a human being, not a human doing.)
What is self work success?
Doing these things. Doing some of them. Doing all of them. And then when you wake up, doing them again. Doing them again until they eventually become habits.
If you don’t know how to do any of the things I suggested, Google it, YouTube it, order a book about it on Amazon, or shoot me an email. I’d love to share my tips so you can upgrade your life. It’s my mission in life to help folks find joy in life and live fully every day.
And don’t underestimate the power of the internet when it comes to improving your life - it has been a HUGE help on my own self-work journey and can be for you as well, especially if you live somewhere rural and your community doesn’t offer a lot in terms of workshops, open mic nights, or bookshops. For example, you can take advantage of Facebook’s event search, eventbrite.com, and Meetup.com. They are all great places to find fellow self-workers/interesting events. Nowadays, a lot of facilitators also offer a virtual option when joining a circle, class, event, or meetup so there is really no excuse not to put in the work!
To sum it up
Being a Conscious Business Owner who only does self-work once in a blue moon is like being a therapist who only goes to therapy when a catastrophe happens. Sure you might be able to do the job, and you might even help someone in the process, but the depth of your healing abilities will only go so far. We’ve all been to a yoga class where the instructor arrives late and flustered. Instead of leaving the class feeling relaxed, you end up feeling agitated and stressed likely because of the stress your ungrounded instructor infused into the place.
We are ALL energetic beings who impact others with our energetic output. But if you are a healer or a Conscious Business Owner, you are likely interacting with many emotionally vulnerable or marginalized people daily. That means it’s even MORE important to make sure you are grounded and fully embodied so that you can hold space for others. How do you do that? Self-work!
