Note to Self: Group Tours Suck But Be Gentle With Your Fellow Sheep Anyway
I’ve been in Morocco for the last 2.5 weeks and I’ve loved almost every second of it; the sea, the surf, the beach camels, the fruit smoothies, the ridiculously cheap prices, and the smiles of the warm people.
Today, though I was annoyed.
You see I booked a group tour to hike through Paradise Valley, an oasis in the middle of the desert. I don’t typically like group tours because I like to go with my rhythm and absolutely abhor being shuffled around in a herd of sheep. But Paradise Valley was an hour away and to get there by public transport was pretty much out of the question. I could take an illegal taxi there and hope that there was a normal taxi coming back that I could jump in. Otherwise, it would be a five-hour walk. Yikes!
Needless to say, I opted for the tour. So this morning I met outside of the pharmacy and waited for the shuffle shuttle bus to pick me up. By the time we arrived at the trailhead though, I was already hungry. I brought my usual snacks; nuts, hardboiled egg, and banana but it wasn’t enough. I felt hanger rising. I tried to distract myself with a quick pace and ended up taking the lead.
At one point the tour guide ran up to me and said “Slow down sister, we have old people with us.” I boiled inside. I wanted to MOVE. Not to mention I’d had a Moroccan coffee before hopping on the shuttle so I was more than amped up.
We finally arrived at the 7-meter plunge where several brave souls stripped down to their swimsuits and jumped in. I’d also worn mine underneath but the water was frigid, the sky was cloudy, and I didn’t feel like being cold afterward, so I just watched the others splash in and struggle to get out quick enough.
On the way back, I started to salivate thinking about the chicken couscous I would order when I got dropped off. Much to my dismay, however, the group was shuffled once again to a small restaurant where they treated us to some Moroccan tea. By this point, I was STARVING.
One guy from my group had arrived a few minutes before everyone else and had ordered himself some lunch. I was jealous. Why didn’t I think of that? Now it was too late.
We finished our tea and began our ascent back to the van. When we arrived I noticed the gentleman who’d ordered himself some lunch wasn’t there. As time passed, I grew more agitated. I overheard a couple next to me say that he had wanted to go for a swim after lunch.
As you can imagine, some dark thoughts started to dance in my head: Are you SERIOUS? First, he orders himself lunch while the rest of us sustain on thyme tea and hard cookies and then he makes everyone wait on him while he takes a dip in the pool. How rude!!
I tried to keep myself from spiraling even further and just busied myself with my Tetris app and just hoped that this misery would end soon. Never again I told myself as I cleared another row.
And then he finally appeared. He had water dripping from his head and he looked frantic. He gets on the bus and makes an announcement before sitting down:
“First of all, I want to say thank you for waiting for me. I wanted to explain why I was late. A few years ago I lost a friend of mine while jumping off that cliff and for my psyche I have come to do two things, 1: watch others jump off the cliff and 2. jump off myself. When I saw a few of you jumping earlier, I was triggered and I had to leave. I knew I couldn’t leave without jumping myself so when you all walked back to the car, I jumped.”
“Oh my god! “I said from the back of the bus. A few others on the bus piped up in unison: “I am so sorry for your loss.”
He sat down and we all drove back. But I couldn’t get what he said out of my head.
Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t help but think about how brave he was to have come here and make that leap. I also couldn’t help but put myself in his shoes. A good friend of mine had just visited me. If that had happened to her I would have been destroyed forever.
There are many morals to my story but here are my key takeaways:
You never really know what someone is going through. Be gentle with each other. Even if you never get clarity around someone’s behavior, we all deserve grace.
Live life to the fullest always even if you have fear. I wrote a poem about that recently. Read it here.
Love your loved ones hard. Tell them you love them all the time.
Bring more snacks than you think you’ll need, or just bring a whole damn lunch. I read a quote recently that pretty much said; “if you hate everyone around you, eat. If you think everyone around you hates you, take a nap.” I love it and think about it often.
