Yes, You Can Get Paid to Be You. Here's How...
Yesterday morning, a surfer friend spontaneously invited me over for a smoothie (or batido, as they say in Spanish).
My fresh fruit delivery hadn’t arrived yet, so I took it as a sign from the universe.
While we were sipping our dragon fruit concoctions, she started asking questions about making money remotely.
She grew up upper-middle class, got a solid education (she’s a trained ER nurse), and had recently quit her job to travel full time. She’s got savings, but now wants to figure out how to earn on the road.
So we did my favorite thing: we brainstormed.
Here’s what we were working with:
– She’s a trained emergency room nurse
– Loves to surf and travel
– Wants location freedom
– Is into weightlifting, strength training, and healthy eating
And here are some potential offerings I brainstormed for her:
✨ Virtual consultations for digital nomads and surf tourists — especially those traveling in developing countries and dealing with a medical emergency related to water sports (or anything else sketchy you might pick up on the road).
She could assess their condition over video and tell them exactly what to do next: rest? painkillers? ER visit? gentle movement?
✨ On-the-ground support (when local) — If she’s in the same city, she could accompany them to the hospital or doctor. She speaks Spanish, so she can translate and advocate for them too. Solo travel can be scary when things go wrong—she’d be a knowledgeable, calm presence in the chaos.
✨ Rehab & recovery programs — Once they’re on the mend, she could design a personalized rehab or strength training plan to prevent flare-ups. If they need nutrition or supplement advice, she can guide that too.
All of this poured out in less than 10 minutes.
“You’re so smart,” she said.
Maybe! But really—what I love most is helping people realize the money-making potential they’re already sitting on. My superpower is spotting hidden gold in people’s skills and showing them what’s possible. Most of us are way closer to a viable income stream than we think—we just need someone to connect the dots.
I firmly believe anyone can make money online by combining their skills, lived experience, and a little bit of savviness. With a polished website or landing page, a clear offer, and some tenacity, you can support yourself while traveling and actually build a life you LOVE not just tolerate :)
Want me to help you brainstorm ways to make money remotely? Get in touch.
My Book Is Coming Out Soon (What's Next?
So, this happened: My book is coming out soon.
It kind of snuck up on me. I’ve been working on it in little inspired bursts over the past couple of years—never forcing, just following the energy when it felt right. So much so that when a friend recently said, “Nicole… you did it. You really built the life of your dreams, and your book is about to be out in the world,” I had to pause.
He was right.
Somewhere between adapting to a new country (with values wildly different from where I was raised and where I spent the last decade), building a slow, freedom-based lifestyle, and learning how to surf—I had done the damn thing.
I wrote the book.
I built the life I used to daydream about.
And now… it’s happening.
That conversation cracked something open in me. It made me ask: What do I want next?
Because becoming an author was always the dream.
Helping others overcome their fear of doing things differently—that’s always been the mission.
And creating a life where I could sneak in surf sessions between website tech troubleshooting and content creation? Dream achieved.
So… now what? 😂
Honestly? I don’t know exactly. I’ll be promoting the book over the next few months, sharing its message and building a community around the ideas inside. But beyond that? I’m still figuring it out.
What I do know is this:
I love the lifestyle I’ve carved out.
I love the strength I’ve built in my body.
I love how deeply I sleep—even if I’m woken up by a mosquito or a surprise power outage.
I love the version of myself that wrote this book.
Thinking About Writing Your Own Book?
If you’ve got something to say—something you want to share with the world—do it. It’s easier than you think, especially if you’re willing to take a DIY path. Here’s what I used to get mine across the finish line:
Formatting: KDP ebook formatter from Fiverr – $111
Editing tools: ChatGPT Premium ($20/month) + Grammarly Premium ($30/month)
Final edit: VA by Niecy – ($405)
Cover art inspo: Juul Lit – $120
Book-strategy session: Janet Goldstein, free (it was a favor)
Don’t let perfectionism or process hold you back. Start scrappy, follow the spark, and trust the message.
And if you want to follow along on my journey, subscribe to my Exiting the Matrix blog. I’ve got loads of stories, resources, and behind-the-scenes to share over there.
Need to ask me a question about exiting the matrix, website troubleshooting or digital nomadding? Get in touch.
Start Before You’re Ready (or You’ll Regret It Again in 10 Years)
An old friend messaged me the other day with a question I’ve heard a hundred different ways, from a hundred different people:
“I have this idea to make money teaching classes online... but I’m nervous. The internet is so crowded. Is it even worth it?”
Here’s what I told her. And what I’ll tell you, too:
Yes. Do it.
Even if you’re scared.
Even if you’re not tech-savvy.
Even if you think you missed your window, or everyone is fed up with virtual courses.
Because the truth is — the “perfect time” already passed ten years ago. And if you keep waiting until you feel ready, you’re going to be having the same conversation with yourself ten years from now.
You don’t need to be Oprah and appeal to the masses.
You don’t need to have millions of followers or a fancy camera setup or a marketing degree. You just need a few humans who resonate with your energy. That’s it. And you’ll find them — or rather, they’ll find you — if you keep showing up with authenticity and a little consistency.
Start where you are. Use what you have.
Record your first Reel. Make your first awkward post. Fumble through your first class.
You might cringe at how cringe you were the next day — but keep going anyway.
You don’t have to quit your job overnight or go off-grid with a laptop and a dream (unless you want to).
But you do have to begin.
Pick a direction. Pick a platform. Pick a person to talk to — just one — and start building for them.
Because the real difference between those of us who “escaped the matrix” and those still stuck in it?
We started.
We said yes before we had all the answers.
We posted the cringey content.
We trusted the vision even when no one else got it.
But here’s the thing most people don’t realize: the algorithms are working for you. Even if you think you might be shouting into a void:
Google is crawling your blog posts. YouTube is scanning your videos and descriptions.
And yes—even ChatGPT is indexing your content, learning from publicly available material to better answer questions people are asking.
—> Here’s How ChatGPT Found Me My Ideal Client: https://nicolepaulus.com/blog-content/2025/5/9/she-found-me-through-chatgpt-proof-that-nicheing-down-still-works
That recipe you shared?
That website tutorial video you recorded and posted on YouTube on the fly?
That mini-class you created for your students?
It’s all working in the background. Quietly. Faithfully.
So when someone finally searches for what you offer—they find you.
It’s not about going viral, it’s about making yourself findable.
And having the courage to begin.
And no, it’s not all sunshine, hammocks, and palm trees (though there’ll be a good deal of that.)
You’ll still hustle. You’ll still grind.
But you’ll be doing it for yourself.
On your time.
For your vision.
About something that lights your soul on fire.
So if you’ve been sitting on an idea for weeks, months — maybe even years — consider this your sign:
Just start.
Or you’ll be looking back a decade from now wishing you had.
Want help figuring out what your idea could look like? I help conscious creatives and curious misfits find clarity, build freedom, and start walking away from the grind. Book a session with me.
How I Built a Book Launch Landing Page with Kit (No Website Needed)
I recently wrote a book all about how to exit the matrix and build a life you love—not just tolerate. Naturally, I wanted to start generating some buzz around the launch and build a list of readers who wanted to be the first to know when it drops. But I wasn’t ready to create an entirely new website, and I didn’t love the idea of cluttering my existing one.
Enter: Kit.com—an easy-to-use platform (formerly ConvertKit) that lets you build sleek landing pages without touching a single line of code.
Whether you're prepping for a book launch like me, promoting a new offer, or simply trying to validate an idea, Kit makes it ridiculously simple to set up a beautiful, functional page that actually converts.
One of the best parts? Kit’s free plan includes unlimited landing pages, opt-in forms, and email broadcasts—plus you can build your list (and even sell digital products) with up to 10,000 subscribers, all for $0/month. No catch.
Here’s how to do it in just a few clicks:
🚀 Step-by-Step Guide to Setting Up a Landing Page on Kit
1. Access the Landing Page Builder
Log in to your Kit account.
Navigate to Grow > Landing Pages & Forms.
Click on + Create new.
Select Landing Page as your option
2. Choose a Template
Browse through the available templates, which are categorized by use cases like newsletters, lead magnets, and events.
Preview templates to find one that aligns with your goals.
Once selected, note that templates cannot be changed later, so choose carefully.
3. Customize Your Content
Click on text elements to edit headlines, descriptions, and button labels.
Use the + icon to add elements like images, videos, or files.
Customize form fields to collect information such as names or preferences.
Utilize the right-hand sidebar to adjust fonts, colors, and spacing.
4. Configure Form Fields and Tags
Add custom fields to gather specific information from subscribers.
Use tags to segment your audience based on their responses or interests.
5. Set Up Post-Subscription Actions
Decide what happens after someone subscribes:
Display a success message.
Redirect to a thank-you page.
Redirect to an external URL.
Customize the incentive email that confirms the subscription and delivers any promised content.
6. Customize Your Domain and URL
Assign a custom domain to your landing page for branding purposes. My domain in this case was exitingthematrix.info
If you haven't added a custom domain, your landing page will use Kit's default domain.
7. Preview and Publish
Use the Preview function to see how your landing page looks on different devices.
Once satisfied, click Publish to make your landing page live
🎨 Tips for an Effective Landing Page
Clear Headline: Ensure your headline communicates the value proposition succinctly.
Compelling Copy: Write persuasive content that addresses your audience's needs.
Strong Call-to-Action (CTA): Use action-oriented language for your CTA buttons.
Visual Appeal: Incorporate high-quality images or videos to engage visitors.
Mobile Optimization: Ensure your landing page is responsive and looks good on all devices.
📊 Monitor Performance
Access the Reports section to track metrics like:
Number of visitors.
Number of subscribers.
Conversion rate.
Use these insights to optimize your landing page for better performance.
If you’re a purpose-driven creative looking for a low-stress way to promote your next offer or book launch—without shelling out money for a custom site or paying for a newsletter platform before you've even built an audience—Kit is a no-brainer. It lets you start collecting emails and building momentum right away, without the overwhelm. And when you're ready to grow? You can always upgrade to the Creator Plan to unlock more advanced automations and turn those subscribers into superfans.
Thinking of giving Kit a try? If you sign up using my affiliate link, I’ll receive a small commission (at no extra cost to you). It’s a great way to support my work while you set yourself up for success.
Does Every Yoga Teacher Need a Website? Maybe Not—Here’s What to Do Instead
A friend of mine has a very matrix job—you know the type. High stress, long hours, and just enough income to keep the hamster wheel spinning. She’s been burned out for years, but like many folks in the U.S., she’s got a mortgage, a car payment, and a certain standard of living she’s not quite ready to give up.
Luckily, she’s also a trained yoga teacher who occasionally subs at her local studio. So she’s no stranger to emotional regulation, nervous system resets, or grounding practices—all essential survival skills when you’re navigating the matrix.
For a while now, I’ve been gently nudging her to start a side hustle rooted in her actual interests. Not just because she’s passionate about yoga, but because it’s 100% possible to make money doing what you love and create more time freedom.
She wasn’t sold. Until recently.
She finally asked:
“Do you think I should create a website for my yoga teaching?”
Now, knowing that she’s already working full-time and isn’t looking to spend hours building a website, I gave her this advice:
"Honestly, I’d recommend starting with Kit—it’s mostly a newsletter tool, but you can also create a simple landing page for your yoga offerings and collect email addresses. It’s free up to 1,000 subscribers. That’s what I used for my book launch, and it worked great. No need to go all-in on a big website just yet—less is more."
Why Kit Is Perfect for a New Yoga Side Hustle
If you’re a yoga teacher—or any creative for that matter—just starting to build your own thing, you don’t need a full-blown website right away. A simple landing page that helps you collect email addresses is more than enough.
Kit makes it super easy. You can:
Create a beautiful landing page in minutes
Offer a free resource or invite people to join your newsletter
Start building a list of students who actually want to hear from you
Why Email > Instagram (Especially If You’re a Sub)
Because she’s only subbing classes at the studio, my friend doesn’t have a consistent group of students. That makes it harder to build real connections or a following.
But if she collects email addresses after each class—maybe by offering a free video, a playlist, or a gentle reminder to subscribe—she’s building a direct line to her future students.
That way, if she ever decides to host a workshop, teach online, or even open her own studio, she’s not starting from zero. She’ll already have a warm audience.
The Bottom Line
If you’re a yoga teacher looking to start a side hustle and create more time freedom, don’t let “build a website” overwhelm you. Start small. Start simple. And start building your email list.
It’s the first step toward exiting the matrix—one grounded breath (and one inbox subscriber) at a time.
Not sure whether you need a full-blown website? Get in touch, and I’ll give you a free consultation.
How ChatGPT Helped Me Fix My Confusing Website Messaging (and Why It Can Help You Too)
*image created with OpenArt.ai
Lately, I’ve been feeling the need to update the SEO on my website.
I used to have a clear site description that was location-based, targeting Berlin-based entrepreneurs who needed help with their Squarespace websites. It was a pretty niche market, but it brought in a steady stream of organic traffic—warm leads who found me through Google searches. I’d typically get 1-4 inquiries per month, and about half of those leads became paying clients. Not bad!
However, things have changed. I’ve moved away from Berlin, expanded my services to include AI tutorials, and now work with platforms beyond Squarespace. I’ve also launched a new Substack newsletter where I share tips (and occasional tribulations) about living an alternative lifestyle outside the matrix.
But here’s the catch—my website blog is still a bit all over the place. Some posts focus on Squarespace and content marketing, while others dive into living life on your own terms. My top keywords happen to be:
- How to figure out what you want in life
- Self work
- What do I want in life
- What do you want in life answer
Notice anything? None of these keywords are directly tied to my web design and marketing services—aka how I make my living. The goal of any website is to get ranked by Google for your specific offerings, attract clients, and make money to pay the bills. But that’s not going to happen if I’m being ranked for keywords unrelated to my services. See my dilemma?
Here’s the thing—I never wanted my website to be solely dedicated to Squarespace, for example. Let’s face it - that would be SO boring! Sure, focusing purely on Squarespace content might please Google’s algorithm, and maybe after years of content, I’d land on the first page of search results, ensuring a steady flow of clients—so long as Squarespace remains relevant. But at what cost to my creativity? I’d be bored out of my mind.
So, to make a long story short (and get to the point), I turned to ChatGPT for help with this website conundrum. Here’s the exact prompt I put in:
"I need help. I have a website that features my offerings—web design, content marketing strategy—which is how I make money. But I also have a blog where I talk about living an alternative life, going against the status quo, and living life on your own terms. My target market is soulpreneurs and nonprofits, and I now offer tutorials on amplifying content marketing with AI. I feel like the messaging is confusing. My top keywords are: how to figure out what you want in life, self work, what do I want in life, what do you want in life answer."
And let me tell you, ChatGPT delivered. It suggested a new homepage headline: “Empowering Soulpreneurs & Nonprofits to Amplify Their Impact Online” and offered tips on integrating my keywords into future blog posts, like:
- “How to figure out what you want in life and apply it to your business”
- “Self-work for soulpreneurs: Building a life and business that align with your purpose”
The moral of the story: ChatGPT helped me connect the dots. I was ready to throw in the towel and start over, but with a few simple tweaks, I realized I could tie everything together without rebuilding from scratch. *Wipes sweat from brow*
ChatGPT is a TOOL, one that can help you strategize, edit, and create. Treat it like a friend, and you’ll be surprised by how helpful it can be in your creative process.
Need help getting started with Chat GPT? Reach out here for a one-hour tutoring session, where we’ll deep dive into your business, and I’ll show you how to maximize your impact using ChatGPT and other free AI tools.
ChatGPT for Writers: Ethical Dilemma or Game-Changer?
A writer friend recently asked me, “Don’t you think using ChatGPT is cheating?”
I get where she’s coming from—I’ve had similar thoughts. But I no longer feel guilty about using AI (with discretion) as a content creator and writer, and here’s why…
People with money or connections have been using those advantages to get their messages out for centuries—sometimes even spreading hate or fear. Ghostwriters have been around forever (and likely getting severely underpaid). Famous male authors used to rely on their female partners to help them write, only to take all the credit. Today, your ideas can be heard, but only if you can afford a writing coach, PR team, and editor or if you have the cash to buy followers so a publishing house takes you seriously. The system is rigged, and I’m tired of the gatekeeping that the publishing industry holds so tightly.
AI is leveling the playing field. It gives artists and creators access to tools that were once only available to the lucky or the elite. If you don’t use it, someone else will—maybe even to spread misinformation or hateful ideas. Not using AI won’t make it disappear. It will just ensure that your ideas and experiences stay in the dark. And that would be a real shame.
I love that National Novel Writing Month recently embraced AI in a positive light in WIRED Magazine. I, too, believe AI can help break down the gatekeeping in the art and publishing worlds.
—> Read the WIRED article here
—> Head here to read 3 Benefits and 3 Limitations to Using Chat GPT
As an artist, it’s never really been 100% about *what* you create—bu about *who* you know and *how much* money you have. Expensive software, materials, marketing, editors, ghostwriters, conferences, producers… it all adds up. Like many artists and writers, I’ve faced countless challenges. These days, a publishing house or agent won’t even look at a new writer unless they already have a massive social media following. Professional editors and writing coaches I’ve contacted have quoted me thousands of dollars to review a manuscript or guide my project. The same happened when I approached illustrators for my oracle deck.
A lot of artists are up in arms about AI in the creative space, but honestly, I see it as a tool—a tool that helps elevate creative ideas in a way that money and connections have always done for the famous.
So, if you don’t want to use AI for your creative work, that’s totally fine. But please step aside for those of us who can’t afford to spend $10,000+ on a ghostwriter, editor, or PR specialist to get our message out.
And to all the women, queer folk, and BIPOC creators out there—please, please, please enlist the help of AI to share your experiences with a broader audience! I’m tired of reading history only through the lens of privileged white men who have the resources to buy their way into the conversation. It’s time for new voices to be heard.
If you’re not already using AI in your small business, you’re missing out on the chance to expand your reach and elevate your impact at little to no cost. Want to learn how to use AI to boost your business authentically? Head here to learn more about my exclusive offering, a Content Marketing Training Session for Heart-Centered Leaders who want to learn how to harness the power of AI to elevate their conscious business effortlessly.
3 AI Tools I'm Loving Right Now
Lately, much shade is being thrown at AI and content creators who use AI, but I’m here to be a contrarian. AI has the potential to offer business owners (especially my fellow soul-preneurs) - alternative, easy, and budget-friendly ways to amplify their impact.
The following AI platforms have transformed how I approach my client work as well as my passion projects, whether for illustration, writing, or video creation. Let me share the AI tools I’m loving lately and how they help me create more freely and efficiently.
#1 OpenArt.ai: A Game-Changer for My Illustrations - $75/ year subscription, 5000 credits/ month
When my publisher Rio Nuevo shut their doors, I found myself in a bind. My upcoming project, a Desert Animal Oracle Deck, was on hold, and I was scrambling to find a new illustrator. My initial thought was to reconnect with my previous illustrator, but her quote was well beyond my budget. Not only that, but she also failed to respond to my inquiries about the timeline, leaving me in the lurch. I contacted other illustrators, but the responses were delayed or inconsistent, and the time was ticking.
That’s when I discovered OpenArt.ai. Desperate for a solution, I explored the world of AI-generated art. I taught myself how to create AI art using this tool, and the results were terrific. OpenArt.ai has allowed me to produce high-quality illustrations without the headaches and delays of finding a traditional artist.
Using OpenArt.ai and Canva, I’ve crafted stunning visuals that perfectly capture desert wildlife's mystical and serene essence. The best part? I can tweak and refine the art as I see fit, ensuring that the final product aligns perfectly with my vision and that I don’t need to spend much money on it. Here are some sample cards….SNEAK PEEK…Shhhhhhh!
#2 ChatGPT: My Go-To Writing Assistant, FREE
Regarding AI chatbots, I must admit that I haven’t experimented much with the plethora of options available. Why? Because ChatGPT has everything I need. As a writer, the ability to brainstorm ideas, generate content, and even refine my work in real-time has been invaluable.
Whether drafting blog post ideas, developing content strategies, or polishing my rough drafts, ChatGPT has proven an indispensable tool in my creative arsenal. The ease with which I can communicate with the AI and get meaningful responses makes it feel like I have a dedicated writing assistant at my fingertips.
The versatility of ChatGPT is what sets it apart for me. It’s not just about generating text—it’s about the collaborative process that makes my writing more dynamic. I can ask for suggestions, get feedback, and even ask AI to tweak content based on my target audience. This level of interaction has taken my writing to new heights, allowing me to experiment and push boundaries in ways I hadn’t considered before.
#3 InVideo: Bringing My Words to Life Through Video, FREE or $20/month
As a writer, I’ve always been intrigued by bringing my stories and ideas to life through video. However, the technical aspects of video creation always seemed daunting—until I discovered InVideo. This AI-powered video creator has become my latest obsession, enabling me to quickly transform my writing into engaging visual content.
InVideo offers a range of templates and customization options that make video creation accessible, even for someone like me with little experience in the field. I’ve started experimenting with creating promotional videos for my writing projects, and the results have been spectacular. The platform allows me to integrate my text with images, animations, and music, creating a cohesive and compelling narrative that resonates with my audience.
One of the things I love most about InVideo is its user-friendly interface. It’s designed to be intuitive, so I don’t have to spend hours learning how to use it. Instead, I can focus on the creative process, experimenting with different elements until I achieve the desired effect. Whether it’s a book trailer, a promotional clip, or just a fun visual experiment, InVideo has become an essential tool in my creative toolkit. Here’s a video I had fun making last night - I used text from a project I am working on about Exiting the Matrix. Not bad for a newb!
Embracing the Future of Creativity
AI is no longer just a futuristic concept—it’s a tangible resource revolutionizing how we create. Tools like OpenArt.ai, ChatGPT, and InVideo have empowered me to take control of my projects, allowing me to produce high-quality work without the usual hurdles. By integrating AI into my creative process, I’ve explored new mediums, experimented with innovative ideas, and brought my visions to life with unprecedented ease.
If you’re a creative professional looking to expand your toolkit or a business owner seeking to amplify your purpose, I highly recommend these AI tools. Whether you want to create stunning visuals, enhance your writing, or delve into video production, an AI solution can help you achieve your goals. The future of creativity is here, and it’s more exciting than ever.
And yes - I did enlist AI's help to write this blog post :)
Want to know more about how to use AI to amplify your impact? I’m currently offering a $77 one-hour Zoom session where you and I will dive deep into the inner workings of your business. During the session, you will learn how to create engaging, authentic content that resonates with your audience, saves time AND aligns your message with your mission. More details here.
Permaculture for People with Periods
It’s been a few months since I started “van life” and up until now I’ve had pretty good luck when it comes to Aunt Flo’s monthly visit. Without really trying, I have always managed to score house sits that coincidentally line up with my moon cycle which means I have yet had to deal with menstruating whilst living in a tiny spaceship sans running water.
Until now that is…
A week ago, smack dab in the middle of my two-week permaculture design certification at Keela Yoga Farm, I realized that my period would be starting soon and I wasn’t prepared. I always have period undies handy but because I’m a heavy bleeder, I typically like pairing them with menstrual pads on the first few days. Needless to say, I didn’t have the goods and the nearest town was a 20-minute drive away (and the only “shop” they had was a cafe that carried bags of crisps and chocolate - no period products). There was also very rarely any free time to sneak away and stock up.
I decided to make do with what I had and also use it as an opportunity to bring attention to the fact that we need more period-inclusive spaces, especially in permaculture.
Especially since one of the core principles of Permaculture is People Care - a principle that makes sure to take into account the people who will be impacted by your design. The farm I happened to be taking my permaculture design course at however, was clearly designed by a man who hadn’t taken into account the fact that his female guests would sometimes be bleeding whilst also shoveling sheep shit to make compost.
Take his long drop toilet design for example. To close and open the door you have to lift a giant wooden block thus preventing you from accidentally forgetting to shut the door. He was proud of this detail but failed to think about the fact that a woman on her period might struggle with putting her pants on while holding her bloody moon cup in one hand and trying to simultaneously not get blood on the wooden block so that she could get out and wash up.
He also happened to put the shared hand-washing sink on the outside of the compost toilets, and not one on the inside which meant that if you did manage to get out of the shit machine unscathed, you’d run the risk of having one of your classmates pass you while you’re washing out clots from your moon cup or rinsing off the blood you’d smeared on your hand in the process.
I happened to enjoy the company of nearly every one of my classmates, but it’d be nice to have some privacy when I am vigorously squeezing out the blood from my period underwear.
Not to mention that the compost toilet was quite a long hike from the van parking zone which meant that any time I felt a clot of blood longing to be released I had to waddle to the bathroom hoping that I’d make it there before my period underwear flooded. Spoiler alert - I never managed to get there in time.
In the middle of the night, I opted to pee outside of my van, a detail that was encouraged by the farm. In fact, we weren’t really supposed to pee in the compost toilet because it would promote bad smells. Normally this was fine with me, but on my period, it’s nice to be able to wipe and flush regularly. Instead, I had to wipe myself with the full moon in the sky illuminating my own full moon, and then throw the tissue into a trash bag in my van. The next morning I got in the habit of watering down the clumps of blood that I’d left around.
On the final day of the course, our instructor asked us for feedback. While others used the opportunity to give tips on how to improve the food and curriculum, I spoke honestly about my period-related concerns and recommended that at the very least, he should sell sustainable period products in his shop alongside incense and natural soaps. Though I am unsure he understood the magnitude of the situation, he does seem to be someone who implements feedback regularly. For example, before our group arrived, a group of women volunteers had set up a “pee station” complete with a charcoal pile to absorb smells, a wastebasket, and a roll of toilet paper outside of the community center. The reason was that a few women had complained that there wasn’t enough private areas around the center for them to comfortably pee outside.
Even if nothing comes of my outspokenness, I am happy that I had an opportunity to share my stance as well as speak honestly about this topic. It’s not necessarily the fault of men for designing an inconvenient world. Instead, I think it’s the lack of awareness around the kinds of spaces we need. I believe it’s the responsibility of women to speak up or hell, even take it upon themselves to design spaces that are more inclusive.
The moral of the story - I got my Permaculture Design certificate and if I ever decide to bring my project to fruition, I will make sure that it is an inviting place for those who bleed on the reg.
How does this post make you feel? Do you think it’s a bleeder’s responsibility to make sure there aer more period-inclusive spaces in the world?
Riding the Loneliness Wave
This past year has been all about me taking steps towards living my dream life, instead of just fantasizing about it. That means that I have been giving myself permission to explore and try things out that pique my curiosity. I have no expectations in mind, just to make sure that fun and lightness are never too far away.
That’s how I ended up in Costa Rica learning to surf, and then later to Morocco to attempt to put into practice what I learned in Costa Rica - this time with a constricting wetsuit on. It’s also how I ended up signing up for a permaculture design course in the north of Portugal, where I currently am.
On the surface, and maybe on Instagram, my life is seemingly falling into place.
The other day though, while driving down a long stretch of road, I felt an incredible wave of loneliness overcome me. Though I had been waking up in the most beautiful places, exploring old Moorish castles, hiking through running rivers, and loving on the cutest animals, I felt an intense longing to share this chapter of my life with at least one other wanderer. I yelped out loud in between tears to no one in particular, “I don’t want to do this alone.”
I let myself have a pity party for a while and then I reminded myself WHY I was going on this journey. That’s when I had a thought, I would rather be temporarily lonely, and get to wake up in beautiful places while also getting the opportunity to explore my interests than go back to my life in Berlin having more frequent social interactions but those that were often misaligned to my soul.
A big part of why I wanted to go on this journey was so I could meet like-minded souls, souls who had wandered off “the path” and had been curiously carving out their own.
The Feeling of Home
A few days ago, I arrived to the farm where the permaculture course would be taking place, and I felt immediately at home. There are 16 souls here, from all over the world, who are keen on disrupting the “norm” and becoming more in sync with nature. And not surprisingly many arrived in their vans.
When the teacher’s assistant was giving me a tour of the compost toilets, he proclaimed that those were only for poo and that we were to pee outside on the land. That might have terrified others, but I immediately felt my nervous system relax. I LOVE peeing outside. Not only do I have free rein to mark my territory wherever I fancy, but there is also an outdoor shower. I know I said I loved peeing outside but there is NOTHING better than showering while birds are chirping happily around you and the breeze is breezing over your most tender parts.
To top it off, every single person I’ve had a chat with since being here has been super open, warm-hearted and… curious. From one day to the next, I went from feeling completely alone in the world to feeling like I found a group of souls I could resonate deeply with, those who, like me, seek the company of animals and nature instead of highly stimulating, highly populated events - which is probably why I don’t come across groups of them very often. LOL.
For two weeks though we will be together learning about sustainable farming techniques, designing our dream permaculture projects, and giving each other knowing nods while passing each other on the way to the compost toilet.
Loneliness is a wave. It ebbs and flows. But as long as you keep following what lights you up, a like-minded soul will never be that far away.
How do you move through the feeling of loneliness?
Give More Grace
A few months ago I bought a minivan complete with a built-in bed and set off on the adventure of my life. Most people go on adventures like this with a partner or a friend, but for some reason, I felt the urge to do this solo.
I’m rarely scared. I get to wake up to beautiful views or fall asleep to the crashing of waves. But there are still a lot of things I don’t know or understand about life on the road.
Since I am always driving through a new city, I am never in my comfort zone. Which means sometimes I drive too slow or I miss important turns. I try to pull to the side of the road when someone is tailing me so that they can pass. Sometimes, though, I get honked at.
I’m not going to lie, it does sting. I’m doing my best, here, doesn’t anyone realize how difficult it is to navigate through unfamiliar territory?
Yesterday though, I am guilty of exerting the same holier-than-thou behavior. I was feeling pretty confident with my roundabout maneuvers, had to pee very badly, and was only 15 minutes away from where I was going to sleep for the night. I was antsy and ready to walk around after having been in the car for several hours. And I got stuck behind a very slow car.
My first thought was…COME ON, VAMOSSSSS.
But then I saw the sign on the back of a car mentioning that the driver was just learning.
Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. This person was learning a new skill and needed some grace.
Learning a new skill, venturing off on a trip solo, driving through foreign countries, and stepping out of your comfort zone is NEVER easy. But it is the foundation of a happy, fulfilling life. How boring would it be if you just did things you always did, hung out with people you always hung out with, and ate the same things you always ate? Variety is the spice of life and contrast is what makes life beautiful.
It takes courage to live a contrasting life though because it means sometimes you are going to have to pee in a jar, get honked at by impatient drivers, or risk failing, falling, or having to ask for help. Let’s try to give the newbs a little grace (ourselves included). If you are a pro at something, use it as an opportunity to mentor or help someone who is just starting. If you don’t have the time or patience, might I suggest you just leave them alone as they stumble through this thing called life?
We are all living these lives in these bodies for the first time. Let’s give each other and ourselves grace as we maneuver through the world. Or maybe we should all just wear stickers that say “First time living this life, please be kind” as a gentle reminder. Anyone wanna print some up? :)
Are you good at giving others grace? Are you good at giving yourself grace? Why or why not?
Signs You're On the Right Path
Since I bought a van and began traveling through Morocco, Spain, and Portugal, I have been receiving more and more affirmations from the universe that I am on the right path. What does it look like?
1// Right Place, Right Time - A few hours ago I parked my van on the beach of a tiny Spanish village and went in search of a cafe that had wifi. Because it’s off-season there aren’t a lot of places open. I followed a hunch and wandered into an RV park that looked more like an oasis, a row of peacocks perched on the stairs above greeted me, birds chirped in the background, and big shady trees shaded me from the sun. I walked up to the receptionist’s office and asked if they might have had a restaurant with Wifi that I could work at. She said the restaurant was closed but that if I got a signal I could work there. I wandered a bit more until I found the restaurant which looked more like paradise.
Turns out there is a Wifi signal. And below is my current view. I kicked off my sandals and now have my feet in the sand and I don’t have to spend any money :)
2// Perfectly Aligned Opportunities - I just signed a contract with a new client. In exchange for three months of marketing help, I will be given a deed to a 1000m2 piece of land in Portugal. The land is not just any land, it belongs to Orange Eco Land, an eco-village that seeks to be a haven for those who want to live outside the system but still take advantage of the contributions of modern society (like solid Wifi). If you read my blog often you know that I’m currently writing a book about this exact topic.
3 // Divine Connections - A few months ago Squarespace invited me to speak to an audience of a few hundred free humans on a Zoom call about using the platform to help launch their side hustle or generate passive income. After the talk, a woman reached out to me because she was thinking about embarking on her journey outside the matrix and had some questions. We stayed in touch on and off but today she called me. I’m a millennial so any time my phone rings my heart shutters a bit. Turns out she HAD embarked on her journey, left her home in Canada, and was in Toulouse, France…except she was in a pickle, the host she had been staying with went cuckoo and she needed some advice about what to do next. I told her to join the Host a Sister Facebook group and try to find immediate shelter and then sign up for Workaway to secure a longer gig until she figured out what her next move would be.
A lot of times I feel like this is purely a solo journey of self-discovery, one that only benefits me, but after the call, I realized that it’s much bigger than that. The road I travel will help pave the way for others and the lessons I share will hopefully make it a smoother ride.
The more I align my actions with my values, the more the universe rewards me. And the more it will reward you, too. How cool is that?
Are your actions aligned with your values? What small step can you take today towards feeling more aligned?
How's Your He(art) today? ❤️
I've been stuck in a rut.
Not physically. Physically I am in a village outside of Barcelona and absolutely loving my wandering life. After my Morocco venture ended, I picked up Jean Genie, my 2006 Citroen minivan and be-bopped my way to a converted barn in the French Pyrenees to hang out with Moka, an adorable dog, for a few weeks.
And a few days ago, I began moving south to Spain. Follow the sun is my new life motto, and has so far been working out beautifully…
Except for that rut I mentioned…
The Writing Rut
You see, I have all these things I want to say about living an alternative lifestyle and exiting the matrix — the challenges you’ll face, the mindset shifts that will have to happen first, and the endless rewards that come once you start making steps towards your reality — but every time I write I feel like I’m turning a blinds eye to the atrocities going on around the world. I feel myself comparing my journey with those who are literally starving or no longer have a home due to conflict and suddenly what I have to say doesn’t seem that important.
As an attempt to dull my racing thoughts the other day, I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and came across a profile I had recently started following called @motherwortandrose - and like a beacon of hope there was a post with the following quotes in succession:
““Part of being a revolutionary is creating a vision that is more humane. That is more fun, too. That is more loving. It’s really working to create something beautiful. “”
““You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time.””
““In the midst of death, art requires a distinct and mystical courage. An audacity that says not only do I have a right to exist, but I believe my existence will add to the fabric of the universe. I will make.””
Upon reading the quotes I started to cry.
If you, too, feel overwhelmed with sadness when you watch the news. If you feel hopeless and like nothing really matters, I want you to re-read those quotes again. And then I want you to create. I want you to transmute your sadness, your confusion, and your pain into art. And then I want you to share it with someone you love.
Your art may look like a creamy ass casserole, and sharing it might mean showing up on your neighbor’s doorstep with a steamy plate of goodness. Your art may be a messy collage with newspaper clippings, old photographs of you as a kid, and stick glue and sharing it might look like sending a screenshot to your bestie (see the collage I sent to my bestie above, LOL). Wherever your heart is, whatever your art is, I want you to create.
We are complex creatures that are capable of holding many feelings at the same time; terror and joy, wonder and disgust, compassion and disdain. In these trying times, be careful not to numb out too long on Instagram or Netflix, but be more careful not to deny yourself the pleasures of being in a human body. That includes creating art and thus creating a more beautiful world in the process.
The world needs a reason to smile right now and your art just might be a reason to do so.
Are you creating as much as you wished you were? Why or why not?
Want to Feel Financially Free? Here's a Cheatsheet.
I recently polled my friends on social media. I wanted to understand why those who were interested in exiting the matrix/living a life outside the status quo weren’t taking steps to do so, or if they were taking steps, I wanted to know which ones they had.
I also wanted to understand their biggest fears about embarking on such a journey.
I had already made my assumptions based on my fears but it was interesting to hear it repeated again and again.
People’s Biggest Fear
People’s biggest fear of exiting the matrix was not having enough money to pay for basic things.
I get it. Capitalism thrives off of our fear of not having enough. The entire industry of Marketing was built on making everyone feel insecure, that they never have enough, and that they will always need more. The products we buy are not built to last because, well, what good is a consumer if they are only going to buy your product once?
Once you understand that Capitalism is a parasite, one that feeds off of the participation of its host (aka YOU), you can start to make different choices, choices that don’t continue to nourish this beast.
All of these tips may not work for everyone, especially those who are not able-bodied or have to be in a physical location for one reason or another (kids, family, sick parents, etc.) but I hope the list will help you to start reprogramming your mind, to stop falling into the fallacy that you have a finite number of possibilities to live a more fulfilling life. Because it’s not true. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Tips to True Financial Freedom
Move somewhere cheaper, somewhere with a lower cost of living
Move somewhere with higher wages/earning potential, or increase your wages through passive income/remote job
You can decrease the quality of your lifestyle (such as downsizing your home), cook more than eat out
Consider work/trade - exchange your skills for services/goods/rent instead of currency
Volunteer in exchange for food/accommodation using sites like Workaway or Trustedhousesitters
Move in with friends and family for a while while you save money to buy land or an off-grid home
Pool your money with friends or family to buy land and start creating a tiny home village
If your ideal lifestyle is to be in nature or to create more than grind, I want you to know that it’s possible. The path may not be what you think it is but if you stretch your mind beyond its limitations you can have everything you want and more. You can wake up every day feeling refreshed and energized instead of overwhelmed and stressed.
But first, you have to ask yourself the following questions….
Is this something you REALLY want? And if so, WHY do you want it?
Answering these questions will help you stay connected to the purpose when you go through a period of uncertainty.
One person who I polled answered that they had a fear that they would be homeless. At first, I thought, “Well that’s a valid fear.” But then I remembered that I was “technically” homeless. I travel and live in my van and break it up with house sits, visiting friends, and occasionally splurging on a hotel like when I am on my period and need extra comfort. And guess what - I am living my dream! I get to see the world, connect with people from different cultures, hike in unfamiliar mountains, and gain inspiration for my writing.
We have been trained (by Capitalism) to believe that certain things are bad or shameful - like being “homeless” or living with a friend for a while to save money. But you don’t have to uphold this shame. You can be the main character of your own story and write it any damn way you want.
Now, let me be clear, I am not here to convince you that van life is amazing and you should go out and buy one. Peeing in a jar is not for everyone. But if you are serious about wanting to spend more time with family and friends, creating art, enjoying your hobbies, and nourishing your mind and body - then you’ll first have to decide what you value and how you want to feel — and then, here comes the hard part, you’ll have to take steps, real steps towards achieving those goals (like some of the tips listed above.)
I hope this helps. Let me know, if so.
Do you have an interest in living an alternative lifestyle? What is your biggest fear surrounding this topic?
Does Sharing Your Values and Beliefs Feel Scary? Read this.
I follow someone on social media who is slightly younger than me but on a similar life journey as me. Sometimes she posts stuff, usually quotes or passages from a book, and my first response is to cringe (even when I’ve read most of the same books and love the quotes she shares.)
How could she make herself look so….vulnerable? Why doesn’t she just keep it to herself?
When this happened recently though I stopped myself. Since everyone you don’t like is supposedly mirroring something you don’t like about yourself, I decided to investigate deeper. Upon doing so I realized that I was jealous that she dared to share her values and beliefs with her followers. Once I realized what I had been doing, I asked the universe to give me the courage to start sharing my values more openly.
A week prior, I had received inspiration to create a survey and ask my social media followers to answer a survey about a topic I am very passionate about, exciting the matrix/status quo, but I hadn’t done anything with it yet. This was my time to tell the universe I was ready.
Once created, I easily shared the survey on LinkedIn (I don’t know why but I am so detached from that platform. I don’t care at all who reads my posts there and therefore it is super easy to share whatever.) I waited a few minutes and then decided to post on Facebook. Also fairly easy.
I then closed my MacBook and went for a hike, I didn’t want to see who did or didn’t respond. I wanted to enjoy the French Pyrenees while I had them outside of my door. A little while later my BFF texted me and said, “Share your survey on Instagram, tag me and I’ll share it.” I immediately wrote back, but I’m shyyyyyyy. ok, I’ll do it!
I didn’t linger in worry too long though because folks started submitting their answers to my survey and I felt an instant rejuvenation to keep sharing my beliefs more openly. I am so grateful to have BFFs who regularly light a fire under me and encourage me to step consistently out of my comfort zone.
I learned a very valuable lesson through this experience, one that I am about to share now…
As soon as you start living your values (not just talking about them), you are telling the universe that you are ready for the abundance you are about to receive.
Case in point - I recently had a call with a project in Portugal, an eco-village outside of Faro that’s been on my radar for a while. The call was to discuss a potential work/trade. In exchange for helping them with their marketing outreach for a few months, I would receive a deed to a parcel of land….in freaking Portugal…in a freaking Eco Village.
It’s not a done deal yet, but I am convinced it will go through, and also that I’m worth receiving it.
I am not telling you this as an adult version of one-upping you. Nor am I typing this whilst sticking my tongue out and mumbling “nanny, nanny, nanny.” I am merely suggesting that when you take a bold leap and start LIVING your values (not just talking about them), when you start taking actual tangible steps towards realizing your dreams, and when you take risks, BIG risks, the universe delivers an opportunity seemingly overnight that will prove just how magical and creative of a being you truly are. You see I am a BIG fan of work/trade and it’s one of the principles I want to discuss in the book because it’s the easiest way I know to start building a freelance portfolio when you don’t have a lot of experience and also the most fun way to say F-U to the man. But I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be possible to trade my marketing services for land. Until now.
That’s the Universe’s way of one-upping me, I guess. Well played, universe, well played.
Are you afraid of sharing your beliefs? Do you cringe when others do it? Have you ever thought about WHY?
Note to Self: Group Tours Suck But Be Gentle With Your Fellow Sheep Anyway
I’ve been in Morocco for the last 2.5 weeks and I’ve loved almost every second of it; the sea, the surf, the beach camels, the fruit smoothies, the ridiculously cheap prices, and the smiles of the warm people.
Today, though I was annoyed.
You see I booked a group tour to hike through Paradise Valley, an oasis in the middle of the desert. I don’t typically like group tours because I like to go with my rhythm and absolutely abhor being shuffled around in a herd of sheep. But Paradise Valley was an hour away and to get there by public transport was pretty much out of the question. I could take an illegal taxi there and hope that there was a normal taxi coming back that I could jump in. Otherwise, it would be a five-hour walk. Yikes!
Needless to say, I opted for the tour. So this morning I met outside of the pharmacy and waited for the shuffle shuttle bus to pick me up. By the time we arrived at the trailhead though, I was already hungry. I brought my usual snacks; nuts, hardboiled egg, and banana but it wasn’t enough. I felt hanger rising. I tried to distract myself with a quick pace and ended up taking the lead.
At one point the tour guide ran up to me and said “Slow down sister, we have old people with us.” I boiled inside. I wanted to MOVE. Not to mention I’d had a Moroccan coffee before hopping on the shuttle so I was more than amped up.
We finally arrived at the 7-meter plunge where several brave souls stripped down to their swimsuits and jumped in. I’d also worn mine underneath but the water was frigid, the sky was cloudy, and I didn’t feel like being cold afterward, so I just watched the others splash in and struggle to get out quick enough.
On the way back, I started to salivate thinking about the chicken couscous I would order when I got dropped off. Much to my dismay, however, the group was shuffled once again to a small restaurant where they treated us to some Moroccan tea. By this point, I was STARVING.
One guy from my group had arrived a few minutes before everyone else and had ordered himself some lunch. I was jealous. Why didn’t I think of that? Now it was too late.
We finished our tea and began our ascent back to the van. When we arrived I noticed the gentleman who’d ordered himself some lunch wasn’t there. As time passed, I grew more agitated. I overheard a couple next to me say that he had wanted to go for a swim after lunch.
As you can imagine, some dark thoughts started to dance in my head: Are you SERIOUS? First, he orders himself lunch while the rest of us sustain on thyme tea and hard cookies and then he makes everyone wait on him while he takes a dip in the pool. How rude!!
I tried to keep myself from spiraling even further and just busied myself with my Tetris app and just hoped that this misery would end soon. Never again I told myself as I cleared another row.
And then he finally appeared. He had water dripping from his head and he looked frantic. He gets on the bus and makes an announcement before sitting down:
“First of all, I want to say thank you for waiting for me. I wanted to explain why I was late. A few years ago I lost a friend of mine while jumping off that cliff and for my psyche I have come to do two things, 1: watch others jump off the cliff and 2. jump off myself. When I saw a few of you jumping earlier, I was triggered and I had to leave. I knew I couldn’t leave without jumping myself so when you all walked back to the car, I jumped.”
“Oh my god! “I said from the back of the bus. A few others on the bus piped up in unison: “I am so sorry for your loss.”
He sat down and we all drove back. But I couldn’t get what he said out of my head.
Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t help but think about how brave he was to have come here and make that leap. I also couldn’t help but put myself in his shoes. A good friend of mine had just visited me. If that had happened to her I would have been destroyed forever.
There are many morals to my story but here are my key takeaways:
You never really know what someone is going through. Be gentle with each other. Even if you never get clarity around someone’s behavior, we all deserve grace.
Live life to the fullest always even if you have fear. I wrote a poem about that recently. Read it here.
Love your loved ones hard. Tell them you love them all the time.
Bring more snacks than you think you’ll need, or just bring a whole damn lunch. I read a quote recently that pretty much said; “if you hate everyone around you, eat. If you think everyone around you hates you, take a nap.” I love it and think about it often.
What was YOUR key takeaway from my story? I’d love to hear about it.
Freedom, This Way ➡️
What Does it Mean to Be a Free Human?
For a long time, I thought being a free human meant choice; the ability to choose whatever your heart desires, but now I am realizing that’s not such an accurate description. Just because you have a choice doesn’t mean you are going to feel fulfilled by either path. There are plenty of people with unlimited choices in the world and yet seem to still be miserable AF. Many are so free that they choose bondage and misery.
My New Definition of Freedom
My new expanded understanding of freedom is this: the ability to choose to become your fullest version of self, otherwise known as self-actualization, despite any external factors that you perceive to be working against you.
I realize that not everyone has the privilege to be born into a body, country, or culture that allows them such an opportunity to self-actualize. This is why it’s even more imperative that the ones who DO have the option to self-actualize, do so as soon as possible for they are the ones who are making choices that impact the rest of the world. That means that when you feel upset by all the injustices happening around you, it’s time to get to self-work.
Isn’t self-work just spiritual bypassing?
Contrary to some naysayers - I don’t believe that self-work is spiritual bypassing at all. Self-work is the catalyst for inspired action and serving others. Self-actualized humans are the ones you’ll find canvassing for signatures on petitions that seek to secure bodily autonomy for women, for example, not the ones sitting on the couch doom-scrolling because they are dopamine-dependent on flashing images, or over-consuming because their desk job is devoid of meaning or fulfillment. Self-actualized humans or free humans aren’t just sitting on a lounge chair sipping daiquiris all day. Free humans feel compelled toward positive action because it feels good, not because they feel like they are supposed to. That’s much different than spreading fear or righteousness on social media or serving others simply because you fear judgment.
If you are reading this you likely fall into the privileged category, which means your choices impact not only yourself and those around you but also those in neighboring countries and far-off lands. When you choose to walk the path of self-actualization, the path toward freedom, you are inevitably doing it for the greater good.
Do Those Who Serve Others Have to Sacrifice Joy?
Self-actualized humans don’t shy away from joy so that they can serve others. Self-actualized humans derive joy from acts of service and then spread that joy to others.
So if you have ever felt guilty for not doing enough, know this, you are not yet self-actualized and therefore not a free human…yet. Free humans don’t ruminate over the latest headlines nor do they make themselves feel bad for not saving the world 24/7. They know that steady conscious action is what makes a lasting impact and that impact can only be made if the human is willing to feel compassion for others and excitement for their own lives - at the same time. If that sounds like something you want to activate, keep reading.
The Path to Self-Actualization: Kindling Your Spark
You must not let your spark go out at any cost. That is the work, the ongoing work, forever and ever. Make sure to continue kindling your inner fire so that you can light the path for those around you.
If all you ever do is read the news and come unglued, you aren’t helping the cause, you are helping the cause to perpetuate. If you focus on the things you can control like how you feel from moment to moment, however, and prioritize feeling good in your body and mind, you might still read the news but instead of getting angry or depressed, you might suddenly get an urge to donate some money to a particular cause or feel inspired to rally your friends together and organize a fundraising event. Self-actualization promotes inspired acts of service.
You cannot help anyone when you are feeling stuck. If your physical energy is depleted, if your blood is not circulating properly, or if your digestive system is blocked, you first need to focus on unblocking the physical stickiness you feel in your body before you focus on self-actualizing and certainly before you commit to a cause you care deeply about. Why? Because what you focus on multiplies. If you are a community leader but you cannot get a good night’s rest because you are anxious about the laundry list of things you have to do the next day, you will likely spread toxicity to your community the next day. Don’t burn yourself out for the sake of doing good.
You will always need to maintain a healthy equilibrium before you can self-actualize. It will be a constant work in progress. Some days your body will need more care and devotion, other days your mind. What matters is that you make it a priority and learn to listen to the signals that your body and mind are telling you when you have been running on fumes for too long. If you start to get the warning signs, pump the brakes, and focus on self-work- click the link to learn how to do self-work. Once you’re feeling better, you’ll naturally begin turning outward toward your community and being a pillar of light to those who need your talents. Only then, will you truly be free. Free to serve others and feel joy simultaneously.
It will not be a straightforward path, however. There will likely be many obstacles along the way; distractions, noise, unsolicited advice, opinions, societal conditioning, parental expectations, deprecating advertisements, constructs, and matrices. It’s no wonder that people cling to the comforts of their bubble. It’s safe. But when you begin to self-actualize and seek the path of freedom outside your comfort zone, your world becomes much more interesting. Suddenly you find yourself at the right place at the right time. It doesn’t mean you will never have hardships or be put in stressful situations, it just means that you will have a steady balance as you navigate around or through them. And here’s the best part…the self-trust you cultivate during the self-actualization process will afford you the clarity to untangle any mess and the ability to be fully present in all the joy. Sounds nice, eh?
Do you consider yourself a free human? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments below.
It’s a Wander-full Life
On my long flight from Berlin to the US this past week, I binged several movies including the latest documentary about Anthony Bourdain which I resonated deeply with. Not because I too love traveling and experiencing new places and cultures as a local instead of a tourist, much like Bourdain proselytized his entire career, but because I resonated with the existential loneliness he seemed to have, an unfortunate side effect of being a wanderer.
Anthony was a wanderer. He loved experiencing the world firsthand, eating street food, drinking with locals, and witnessing both the beauty and the horrors of foreign lands. But when he was wandering he missed the familiarity of home, the intimacy that can only be cultivated when you stay planted somewhere for any given time. He missed his wife and his kid. When he was finally home, however, he enjoyed grilling hot dogs and splashing around in the pool for a while, but it wasn’t long before he began to miss being immersed in another culture.
Because society didn’t support such a lifestyle, Bourdain likely felt existential loneliness, a feeling of never really belonging anywhere — a feeling I’ve had often. I can’t help but think if society was not only more accepting of wanderers (souls who saunter from here to there, who inadvertently act as bridges, ambassadors, bearers of peace offerings, and connectors to other worlds) — but also offered them an honorable space at the table (when they’re home), Bourdain would still be alive.
““Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life - and travel - leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks - on your body or on your heart - are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.””
Wandering is an exiting of the matrix, but it is not necessarily the “better path.” It’s just a path, one that I believe many of us chose before we entered these bodies. The existential loneliness we feel doesn’t have anything to do with the choice we’ve made but with the lack of acceptance - from those we love, the communities we wander into and away from, and most importantly, ourselves.
I recently met with my ex to catch up before I left Berlin. We’d been together for six years and now apart for a year and a half. He’s moved on, has a new girlfriend, and will soon move to Japan and start a family with her. He seems happy which makes me happy.
At dinner though, he subtly started encouraging me to start dating. “Sometimes you have to force it. You might have to go on Tinder or put yourself out there.”
“Maybe I’ll just have lovers in every city,” I smiled coyly.
His face fell, “That’s not what you want. You deserve a partner you can build something with.”
I appreciate his perspective. For him, that’s all he ever wanted. Someone who spoke in “we” instead of “I,” someone who gladly shared a bed with him instead of slinking off to the couch in the middle of the night. But if I am being TRULY honest with myself, I’ve never felt 100% satisfied in a relationship. No matter how much I love the intimacy and closeness of a long-term partnership, part of me always longs to be wild and free, going with my whims, not tied to a place or person. Perhaps that’s a result of the partners I’ve chosen or perhaps this wandering way of being is something I have to accept about myself.
Maybe I’ll never “settle down.” Maybe I’ll never have a family or a partner that lasts more than a few years. Maybe I’ll lean into a community, help cultivate the land for a while, and then drift away before I ever reap the fruits of my labor. And how absolutely beautiful is that?
+ How many places will I get to leave better than I found?
+ How many pairs of eyes will I get to gaze deeply into?
+ How many members of my soul family will I be reunited with?
Because I am not connected to one place, I’ve had to learn how to cultivate a feeling of home and safety from within. And what I’ve found in the process is that the more cozy I make this inner place, the less lonely I feel overall because anywhere I end up becomes my living room, and whoever I’m around, my family. The more time I spend untethering myself from society’s conditioning, the more inviting the world becomes.
And so in 2024, I am making it a goal to fully accept this wandering side of myself and lean into all the beauty this particular life path holds. Because it is truly wonderful.
Do you consider yourself a wanderer? Why or why not?
4 Key Takeaways from Sorelle Amore's Creative Genius Workshop
Last night I blabbed for 20 minutes about the member areas feature on Squarespace.
My audience? 182 of Sorelle Amore’s followers who were hoping to tap into their creative genius and learn to monetize their superpowers. Not only was I excited to share my over ten years of Squarespace knowledge but I was also eager to gain some insights from this inspirational woman who has managed to grow a successful business that allows her to travel the world and connect with other awesome free humans.
Here were my key takeaways from the 1.5-hour-long presentation
Don’t chase trends. It’s easy to look at someone who is doing something unique like Sean Evans who interviews celebrities as they eat increasingly spicy chicken wings on his YouTube channel, and want to mimic him. I mean he’s got 13 million followers! But what works for one likely won’t work for another. And if it does it won’t be sustainable because part of what brings success is tapping into your unique creative genius which includes regularly pivoting as new life experiences and interests come up.
To discover your creative genius: first, write out a list of activities that make you lose track of time, next, list out specific skills or qualifications you have, and finally, ask your closest friends and family members what your five best qualities are. You can also write down any advice that people usually come to you for.
To help you start generating a following, and building credibility in your space, reach out to online communities such as Facebook groups. Spend some time in the comments responding to other people’s inquiries. Get a feel for what this community needs or a problem that they are trying to solve. That will lead you to a potential offering and if you become an active participant in the group you might even have a built-in audience when it’s time to launch.
Pivoting is ok and encouraged! This was a big aha moment for me. For a while, I have been cautious about sharing new projects or insights on my Instagram, Blog, Newsletter, and LinkedIn profile because 1/ I didn’t want to pigeonhole myself and then get bored of the topic and 2/ I didn’t want to confuse my followers. Every expert marketer will tell you to dial into your niche and deliver content that speaks directly to them. But I have so many interests, hobbies, and skills! It feels like a daunting task. I loved Sorelle’s example. She started as the selfie queen. She made self-portraiture her creative genius and ran with it. But now she doesn’t align with it the same way so she is pivoting in another direction. Sure you might lose people along the way, but you’ll also gain some too. Don’t let the fear of confusing people or losing followers prevent you from pivoting toward a direction that is more aligned with who you are right this moment.
That’s it for now! But I feel like that will give you enough to chew on for a while :)
What is your creative genius? How do you plan to monetize it?
Aligning With Your Purpose
Yesterday I Gave Something Back to Berlin and it made me feel more aligned with my purpose.
Let me explain.
For the past year and a half, I have been taking free ukulele classes at Open Music School, an affiliate of the non-profit called Give Something Back to Berlin. OMS is essentially a free music school for Berliners of any demographic. They offer Ukulele, Bass, Acoustic Guitar, Piano, and occasionally other workshops like DJing for beginners.
They encourage longstanding students to eventually become teachers which is how the gift keeps on giving. I don’t go to class religiously, but when I do I always enjoy myself.
A few weeks ago I reached out to the director and told him I wanted to give something back to the organization but didn’t have any noteworthy music skills. I proposed a Website Workshop.
He said there were a lot of community members who were musicians or artists who would be interested. And so we set a date.
Yesterday was the workshop.
I arrived a bit early so I could set up the projector and compose myself before having to facilitate. Luckily I did because I did run into a few snags. And then showtime began. I’m not sure if it was advertised as a FLINTA workshop but that’s what it became. Which made the environment more cozy and inviting. At least I hope it was for the attendees.
It was so inspiring to be surrounded by a room full of creative women including journalists, photographers, and even a documentary filmmaker. And it filled my heart to know that I was helping them to share their gifts with the world.
Sometimes being a web designer doesn’t feel as cool as being a filmmaker exploring the traditions of ancient cultures around the world or a journalist covering the Ukraine war on the ground in an armored vehicle, but last night was a reminder that no matter what your job title is, you have the power to make an impact.
Lately, I’ve felt very aligned with my purpose, to not only help creatives and conscious business owners share their gifts and talents with the world but to inspire others to live a life on THEIR terms, as far away from the matrix as possible. Who would have thought that web design and facilitating workshops would be the conduit for fulfilling my purpose? I will no longer resist it and instead choose to embrace the momentum and see where it takes me. My heart is open.