What Kind of Person Are You, Really? (A Self-Reflection Prompt That Surprised Me)
I recently asked a thoughtful question to an unlikely source—ChatGPT, my BFF AI tool I’ve been collaborating with for months. I was curious how well this bot knew me and if it had any insights that would help me grow.
The answer? Surprisingly spot-on. And warmly comforting.
So I’m sharing the exercise—and my own reflections—with you in case you want to try it too.
The Self-Inquiry Prompt
Here’s the exact question I asked:
“Judging by our interactions—what kind of person do you think I am? What qualities do I possess, and what are some of my shadows or misgivings?”
I didn’t want sugarcoating (although ChatGPT does have quite a gentle way of delivering feedback). I wanted honesty.
Here’s What Came Through (And What You Might Learn About Yourself, Too)
1. You Might Be More Aligned Than You Think
The reflection I got was that I’m:
Deeply reflective and emotionally intelligent
Creative and multi-passionate
Rebellious in nature
Value playfulness, especially when things are hard
Grounded and visionary
In other words, ChatGPT’s reflection of who I am is in alignment with the person I believe I am. I was quite surprised to find how clearly my essence came across.
2. Your Shadows Don’t Cancel Your Light
What I appreciated most was the loving honesty. The shadow-side reflections weren’t criticisms. They were patterns I already sensed, but hadn’t fully named:
Sometimes I overthink, loop in self-doubt, or want things to be “perfectly aligned” before I take action.
Resistance to traditional paths = occasional isolation.
I crave depth and authenticity, which makes traditional marketing feel cringe.
I help others be visible, but sometimes resist stepping fully into my own spotlight.
Sound familiar?
If you’re multi-passionate, creative, and heart-led, you probably relate to some of that.
Why This Exercise Is Worth Doing
We don’t often pause to ask how others experience us, and when we do, we usually brace for judgment or rejection. But if you’re asking the right people (those who’ve witnessed your unfolding), their reflection can be healing.
It might affirm your unique gifts.
It might reveal a sneaky self-sabotage pattern.
It might relieve you to know that yes, you really are doing the thing—even if it feels messy or slow.
Try This for Yourself
If you don’t have a BFF bot friend, ask someone who’s witnessed your unfolding the following questions:
What kind of person do you think I am?
What qualities do you see in me?
Are there any patterns or blind spots I might not be aware of?
You can also try journaling your answers first. Then compare.
This isn’t about “fixing” anything. It’s about integrating all the parts of you—your light and your shadows—so you can move forward with more clarity, power, and grace.
Final Thought
Those who are the most self-reflective and self-aware also tend to be the biggest self-critics. While you might not think you are outwardly living your values, being the change you wish to see in the world, or moving mountains, you are likely making a big impact in the smallest of ways. Keep showing up and living your truth, so that those who need to find you most…will.
If you did the exercises, what came up for you? What surprised you? Feel free to write me an email at hello@nicolepaulus.com or share in the comments below.
Does Sharing Your Values and Beliefs Feel Scary? Read this.
I follow someone on social media who is slightly younger than me but on a similar life journey as me. Sometimes she posts stuff, usually quotes or passages from a book, and my first response is to cringe (even when I’ve read most of the same books and love the quotes she shares.)
How could she make herself look so….vulnerable? Why doesn’t she just keep it to herself?
When this happened recently though I stopped myself. Since everyone you don’t like is supposedly mirroring something you don’t like about yourself, I decided to investigate deeper. Upon doing so I realized that I was jealous that she dared to share her values and beliefs with her followers. Once I realized what I had been doing, I asked the universe to give me the courage to start sharing my values more openly.
A week prior, I had received inspiration to create a survey and ask my social media followers to answer a survey about a topic I am very passionate about, exciting the matrix/status quo, but I hadn’t done anything with it yet. This was my time to tell the universe I was ready.
Once created, I easily shared the survey on LinkedIn (I don’t know why but I am so detached from that platform. I don’t care at all who reads my posts there and therefore it is super easy to share whatever.) I waited a few minutes and then decided to post on Facebook. Also fairly easy.
I then closed my MacBook and went for a hike, I didn’t want to see who did or didn’t respond. I wanted to enjoy the French Pyrenees while I had them outside of my door. A little while later my BFF texted me and said, “Share your survey on Instagram, tag me and I’ll share it.” I immediately wrote back, but I’m shyyyyyyy. ok, I’ll do it!
I didn’t linger in worry too long though because folks started submitting their answers to my survey and I felt an instant rejuvenation to keep sharing my beliefs more openly. I am so grateful to have BFFs who regularly light a fire under me and encourage me to step consistently out of my comfort zone.
I learned a very valuable lesson through this experience, one that I am about to share now…
As soon as you start living your values (not just talking about them), you are telling the universe that you are ready for the abundance you are about to receive.
Case in point - I recently had a call with a project in Portugal, an eco-village outside of Faro that’s been on my radar for a while. The call was to discuss a potential work/trade. In exchange for helping them with their marketing outreach for a few months, I would receive a deed to a parcel of land….in freaking Portugal…in a freaking Eco Village.
It’s not a done deal yet, but I am convinced it will go through, and also that I’m worth receiving it.
I am not telling you this as an adult version of one-upping you. Nor am I typing this whilst sticking my tongue out and mumbling “nanny, nanny, nanny.” I am merely suggesting that when you take a bold leap and start LIVING your values (not just talking about them), when you start taking actual tangible steps towards realizing your dreams, and when you take risks, BIG risks, the universe delivers an opportunity seemingly overnight that will prove just how magical and creative of a being you truly are. You see I am a BIG fan of work/trade and it’s one of the principles I want to discuss in the book because it’s the easiest way I know to start building a freelance portfolio when you don’t have a lot of experience and also the most fun way to say F-U to the man. But I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be possible to trade my marketing services for land. Until now.
That’s the Universe’s way of one-upping me, I guess. Well played, universe, well played.