What Would This Look Like If It Was Easy?

I was recently listening to a podcast interview with Tim Ferriss when he shared a question he asks himself in his journal often to help him overcome challenges  - and it stuck with me.  I’ll admit that when I first heard him say it, it seemed too good to be true. How could asking this question miraculously help me make sounder decisions, reduce suffering, and reach greater insights? 

I can’t really explain the science behind it, but what I can say is that it works. 

Here’s the question to pose the next time you are facing a challenge whether it be at work, home, or in a relationship.

What would this look like if it was easy? 

Ferriss says that by asking this question, we open up the possibility of “solving” the problem simply by reframing it. 

Here’s how it looks in action: 

I recently went through the process of buying a van in Germany. Though I have been living here for over 8 years, I am still not super confident speaking German. I admit that I relied a little too much on my former German partner to help me with bureaucratic issues but now that we are no longer together, I am forced to navigate such challenges solo. Needless to say, I was frustrated. I couldn’t make up my mind about whether or not I should purchase a vehicle I had recently test driven. 

But then I remembered to ask myself a question: 

What would this look like if it was easy? 

I landed on the fact that I couldn’t make a sound decision because I didn’t know enough about cars and what qualifies as a good value. I was fearful that I would end up purchasing a lemon that would eventually drain my savings. This would, however, be an easy decision if I had a friend or family member who knew about cars and could tell me what to watch out for.

I reached out to a few friends who had cars and asked their opinion. Honestly, their answers didn’t do much to help alleviate my indecision, mostly because they weren’t actually looking at the vehicle in person, only reading the same description I had. 

And then, as I was walking to the train one day, I passed by a car mechanic. I followed my impulse and walked in and explained my situation  (in German) to an employee there. That’s when she told me that they offer a 35-euro inspection for people looking to purchase a used vehicle. After the inspection, they would inform me of any pertinent issues the car may have so that I could make a solid decision.

I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me. Upon leaving the office I texted the guy selling the car and asked if he would be willing to meet me the following day. He agreed. 

The inspection came back and everything was overall ok, but I found out that the car does need some important work done before taking it on a major trip. But the good news is that I was able to negotiate the price based on the findings. Not only do I now know what needs to be repaired immediately (as well as how much it will cost) but I am also now aware of what needs to be taken care of in the following months, which gives me a better understanding of upcoming costs associated with owning the vehicle. I was able to purchase the car with a more settled feeling instead of wasting more time weighing the pros and cons of whether or not to buy it.

The next time you find yourself facing a problem or wanting to achieve a goal, ask yourself what it would look like if the decision or solution was easy. Asking yourself this question trains your mind to look for solutions, not just hone in on all the things that could go wrong. It’s likely you just need more information on the topic, which might mean you have to seek out the help of a more knowledgeable person, pay an expert for an evaluation or audit, or find someone who has had a similar challenge and ask for their advice.

There you go - I hope that helps you alleviate your next decision paralysis so that you can spend less time worrying and more time achieving your wildest dreams!

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Let me know if you end up using this tip and how it ends up for you!

I don't belong anywhere. I belong everywhere.

I have recently come to terms with the fact that for the rest of my life I will always be missing out on something.

• When I am dancing the night away with friends, I miss having dinner with my family in Atlanta.
• When I head to the US for a month to welcome my niece to the world, I am missing sitting in my favorite park in Berlin.
• When I am catching up with friends from high school, I am missing snuggling my puppy in Tucson.

FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out

Sure, I suffer from FOMO when trying to decide what to do in an evening:“Which event should I attend tonight?”

These kinds of decisions aren’t as hard to make because usually the answer can be determined by asking this simple question: “How much does it cost?” 

This decision is not so easy, however, when trying to answer heavier questions such as: “Do I want to watch my niece grow up first hand or through a shoddy Skype connection?”

Luckily, I have been battling FOMO for quite some time and have since learned how to calm this nagging beast. 

We live in exciting times. Being everywhere at once is somewhat possible with the magic of technology, however, this option doesn’t come without sacrifices. There is a possibility that you will spread yourself too thin, which may result in living a shallow, lonely life. YIKES!

Rest assured, I have finally figured out how to stay settled internally while living many lives at once. No matter where I am jaunting off to next, I make sure to always incorporate the following so that I never stray too far from myself or my values; exercise, music, and communication.

• Exercise helps me to stay connected to my physical self.
• Music helps me to balance my emotions and center my thoughts.
• Communication helps me to feel connected to loved ones, not matter where I am. I never feel too far from my friends or family if I have the option to send them a simple “what’s up” text. 

In addition, if I want to keep being the happiest Nicole possible, I must continue to pay tribute to all the parts that make me whole. This means, that I will probably always be bouncing between the cities of Tucson, Atlanta, and Berlin.

• I have desert bones — I feel most calm when the Saguaro sun wraps her rays around me, strengthening the core of the woman I have worked so hard to be.
• I have Southern roots — I feel most nostalgic when the heavy Georgian air fills my lungs, grounding me back down to Earth. 
• I have German blood — I feel most like myself when the plane touches down in Berlin, reminding me that moving here was the best decision of my life. 

Sure, I will always be saying goodbye, but it also means I will always be saying hello. In fact, I’m not really “missing out” at all— I always have a loved one to catch up with, a nostalgic food to eat, or a new story to tell. 

I don’t belong to anyone. I belong to everyone. 

I don’t belong anywhere. I belong everywhere.