Does Sharing Your Values and Beliefs Feel Scary? Read this.
I follow someone on social media who is slightly younger than me but on a similar life journey as me. Sometimes she posts stuff, usually quotes or passages from a book, and my first response is to cringe (even when I’ve read most of the same books and love the quotes she shares.)
How could she make herself look so….vulnerable? Why doesn’t she just keep it to herself?
When this happened recently though I stopped myself. Since everyone you don’t like is supposedly mirroring something you don’t like about yourself, I decided to investigate deeper. Upon doing so I realized that I was jealous that she dared to share her values and beliefs with her followers. Once I realized what I had been doing, I asked the universe to give me the courage to start sharing my values more openly.
A week prior, I had received inspiration to create a survey and ask my social media followers to answer a survey about a topic I am very passionate about, exciting the matrix/status quo, but I hadn’t done anything with it yet. This was my time to tell the universe I was ready.
Once created, I easily shared the survey on LinkedIn (I don’t know why but I am so detached from that platform. I don’t care at all who reads my posts there and therefore it is super easy to share whatever.) I waited a few minutes and then decided to post on Facebook. Also fairly easy.
I then closed my MacBook and went for a hike, I didn’t want to see who did or didn’t respond. I wanted to enjoy the French Pyrenees while I had them outside of my door. A little while later my BFF texted me and said, “Share your survey on Instagram, tag me and I’ll share it.” I immediately wrote back, but I’m shyyyyyyy. ok, I’ll do it!
I didn’t linger in worry too long though because folks started submitting their answers to my survey and I felt an instant rejuvenation to keep sharing my beliefs more openly. I am so grateful to have BFFs who regularly light a fire under me and encourage me to step consistently out of my comfort zone.
I learned a very valuable lesson through this experience, one that I am about to share now…
As soon as you start living your values (not just talking about them), you are telling the universe that you are ready for the abundance you are about to receive.
Case in point - I recently had a call with a project in Portugal, an eco-village outside of Faro that’s been on my radar for a while. The call was to discuss a potential work/trade. In exchange for helping them with their marketing outreach for a few months, I would receive a deed to a parcel of land….in freaking Portugal…in a freaking Eco Village.
It’s not a done deal yet, but I am convinced it will go through, and also that I’m worth receiving it.
I am not telling you this as an adult version of one-upping you. Nor am I typing this whilst sticking my tongue out and mumbling “nanny, nanny, nanny.” I am merely suggesting that when you take a bold leap and start LIVING your values (not just talking about them), when you start taking actual tangible steps towards realizing your dreams, and when you take risks, BIG risks, the universe delivers an opportunity seemingly overnight that will prove just how magical and creative of a being you truly are. You see I am a BIG fan of work/trade and it’s one of the principles I want to discuss in the book because it’s the easiest way I know to start building a freelance portfolio when you don’t have a lot of experience and also the most fun way to say F-U to the man. But I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be possible to trade my marketing services for land. Until now.
That’s the Universe’s way of one-upping me, I guess. Well played, universe, well played.
Are you afraid of sharing your beliefs? Do you cringe when others do it? Have you ever thought about WHY?
What Would This Look Like If It Was Easy?
I was recently listening to a podcast interview with Tim Ferriss when he shared a question he asks himself in his journal often to help him overcome challenges - and it stuck with me. I’ll admit that when I first heard him say it, it seemed too good to be true. How could asking this question miraculously help me make sounder decisions, reduce suffering, and reach greater insights?
I can’t really explain the science behind it, but what I can say is that it works.
Here’s the question to pose the next time you are facing a challenge whether it be at work, home, or in a relationship.
What would this look like if it was easy?
Ferriss says that by asking this question, we open up the possibility of “solving” the problem simply by reframing it.
Here’s how it looks in action:
I recently went through the process of buying a van in Germany. Though I have been living here for over 8 years, I am still not super confident speaking German. I admit that I relied a little too much on my former German partner to help me with bureaucratic issues but now that we are no longer together, I am forced to navigate such challenges solo. Needless to say, I was frustrated. I couldn’t make up my mind about whether or not I should purchase a vehicle I had recently test driven.
But then I remembered to ask myself a question:
What would this look like if it was easy?
I landed on the fact that I couldn’t make a sound decision because I didn’t know enough about cars and what qualifies as a good value. I was fearful that I would end up purchasing a lemon that would eventually drain my savings. This would, however, be an easy decision if I had a friend or family member who knew about cars and could tell me what to watch out for.
I reached out to a few friends who had cars and asked their opinion. Honestly, their answers didn’t do much to help alleviate my indecision, mostly because they weren’t actually looking at the vehicle in person, only reading the same description I had.
And then, as I was walking to the train one day, I passed by a car mechanic. I followed my impulse and walked in and explained my situation (in German) to an employee there. That’s when she told me that they offer a 35-euro inspection for people looking to purchase a used vehicle. After the inspection, they would inform me of any pertinent issues the car may have so that I could make a solid decision.
I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me. Upon leaving the office I texted the guy selling the car and asked if he would be willing to meet me the following day. He agreed.
The inspection came back and everything was overall ok, but I found out that the car does need some important work done before taking it on a major trip. But the good news is that I was able to negotiate the price based on the findings. Not only do I now know what needs to be repaired immediately (as well as how much it will cost) but I am also now aware of what needs to be taken care of in the following months, which gives me a better understanding of upcoming costs associated with owning the vehicle. I was able to purchase the car with a more settled feeling instead of wasting more time weighing the pros and cons of whether or not to buy it.
The next time you find yourself facing a problem or wanting to achieve a goal, ask yourself what it would look like if the decision or solution was easy. Asking yourself this question trains your mind to look for solutions, not just hone in on all the things that could go wrong. It’s likely you just need more information on the topic, which might mean you have to seek out the help of a more knowledgeable person, pay an expert for an evaluation or audit, or find someone who has had a similar challenge and ask for their advice.
There you go - I hope that helps you alleviate your next decision paralysis so that you can spend less time worrying and more time achieving your wildest dreams!