How's Your Play-to-Rest Ratio?
I woke up at 2a with the following download, “In order to play, you must recharge.”
Everyone loves to play. And if you don’t feel safe letting your freak flag fly in public, you likely love being around others who do. Whether they are making silly faces, playing practical jokes, or dancing like a robot in the grocery store, playful people are often the most liked, and the ones we want to spend the most time with.
While playing should be a main priority - it can’t and shouldn’t be the only goal. Why? Because you’ll burn out.
Instead, you’ve got to have a healthy play-to-rest ratio. Let me explain…
As children, we played with everything. That stick on the ground became a magical wand, that scrap piece of paper became a snowball and that carved-out tree trunk became a kitchen. We played with life, we played with others, and we played the day away.
But we also rested. We took naps. We laid on our bellies and observed the carpet fibers while our heart rates returned to resting. Before you knew it, we arose from our restful state, ate a nourishing snack, and then returned to our playful escapades.
Believe it or not, deep down, we are still those children with those same playful tendencies. The only difference is that now we have to also be our own caretakers. We must play both roles, the player and the caretaker. Most adults get so wrapped up in their role of caretaker and forget how to be a playful player. They take care of bills and tune-ups and grocery shops but they never let loose. BORING. Or they play so hard that they forget that they must also provide a safe space for their player to rest, rejuvenate, and recharge. Which category do you typically fall into?
Personally, I often feel pressured to be playful and an endless source of sunshine to everyone around me, even when my body is begging for a recharge. I rarely live up to that standard which results in me disassociating from whatever is happening around me and retreating into myself. In the past, I would have drank more alcohol or stayed up way too late in order to appease the longings of others.
But in 2023 I aim to do something different.
Of course, the people in my life love me most when I’m playful and carefree. Heck, I love myself most when I am playing. When I am not feeling my best, I can be moody, nervous, and negatively leaning, aka a real party pooper. What I am realizing, however, is that it’s not possible for me to just be playful ALL the time.
“In order to play, you must recharge.”
Instead, I must carefully construct an environment where my playful self can refuel. Personally, I need strenuous daily movement (preferably hiking vertically up a warm mountain), colorful salads with healthy proteins, a good night’s rest, and ample time and space for solo reflection.
Only then will I feel safe enough to let my playful nature run wild. And that’s perfectly ok.
How’s your Play-to-Rest Ratio? Could you use some fine tuning?
A Little Play Goes A Long Way
On the 2019 vision collage I made a few weeks ago, I cut out a picture of two kids swinging, their heads flung back, laughter escaping their tiny lungs. This picture was not only supposed to be a reminder for me to hop on a swing whenever possible (am I the only one who thinks there is something so delightful yet also slightly terrifying about letting your body fly through the air) but the image was also supposed to serve as a reminder for me to PLAY as much as possible this year.
As children, we instinctively know when to play, when to let our imagination flow, and when to draw outside the lines. We naturally follow our curiosities. We can do this because we have complete and total trust that all of our needs will be fulfilled (by our parents). Somewhere along the way, however, we lose this ability to trust our curiosities. Perhaps we get introduced to trauma, a lover disappoints us, or someone we hold in high esteem diminishes our worth. Little by little our trust is chipped away and we build up a large fortress of protection goes up in its place. Until of course, we have kids of our own…
It’s my belief that one of the reasons people have kids (and keep adding more to the family) is because kids encourage them to play, which makes them feel A L I V E. They are suddenly immersed into a land of make-believe, building a fort out of blankets or pretending the living room floor is lava.
But I’m here to tell you…you don’t have to have kids to give yourself permission to be a big, silly goofball. You can absolutely start today.
The past week and the last few days, I’ve been feeling the urge to play, laugh, and just be silly. But….life always seems to get in the way. Disappointed that I had to attend a Skype meeting with a client instead of meet with friends for a workout in the park, I texted them in the group chat, “I wish I could meet you guys tonight, but I’ve got a meeting. I’m trying to be grateful and positive about this opportunity but I am having a hard time. I’m really feeling like I need to have fun today.”
The reason I was having a hard time is because I felt that work was interfering with my playtime. Frustration and disappointment were the feelings that followed and no tools in my toolbox seemed to be helping.
I tried listing off things I was grateful for.
I tried venting about it with friends.
I even went for a run hoping it shake off this icky feeling I had.
That’s when I came across a swing set on my way home. It’s not the first time I’ve swung by myself, though I’m fully aware of how “odd” it may appear to others. To my surprise, no one looked twice. Either their eyes were focused on the screen in front of them or they were lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly a mom and her toddler walked by. The toddler immediately turned her head and smiled at me. In just a few seconds, she had convinced her mom to put her on the swing next to me.
And there we swung. Side by side. The cool air on our skin. The sinking of our bellies. Our hands gripping the metal.
It doesn’t surprise me that the toddler felt a calling to jump on that swing. She followed her curiosity. Would an adult have done the same? Likely not. They probably would have rationalized that they are too old for such behavior, that they would possibly hurt themselves, or that they should probably just get to wherever they are going.
I’m not saying the next few minutes of swinging completely snapped me out of the funk I was in, but it certainly helped me sneak away from my own pity party, just long enough that I could fill my lungs with the joy of life instead.