Freedom, This Way ➡️
What Does it Mean to Be a Free Human?
For a long time, I thought being a free human meant choice; the ability to choose whatever your heart desires, but now I am realizing that’s not such an accurate description. Just because you have a choice doesn’t mean you are going to feel fulfilled by either path. There are plenty of people with unlimited choices in the world and yet seem to still be miserable AF. Many are so free that they choose bondage and misery.
My New Definition of Freedom
My new expanded understanding of freedom is this: the ability to choose to become your fullest version of self, otherwise known as self-actualization, despite any external factors that you perceive to be working against you.
I realize that not everyone has the privilege to be born into a body, country, or culture that allows them such an opportunity to self-actualize. This is why it’s even more imperative that the ones who DO have the option to self-actualize, do so as soon as possible for they are the ones who are making choices that impact the rest of the world. That means that when you feel upset by all the injustices happening around you, it’s time to get to self-work.
Isn’t self-work just spiritual bypassing?
Contrary to some naysayers - I don’t believe that self-work is spiritual bypassing at all. Self-work is the catalyst for inspired action and serving others. Self-actualized humans are the ones you’ll find canvassing for signatures on petitions that seek to secure bodily autonomy for women, for example, not the ones sitting on the couch doom-scrolling because they are dopamine-dependent on flashing images, or over-consuming because their desk job is devoid of meaning or fulfillment. Self-actualized humans or free humans aren’t just sitting on a lounge chair sipping daiquiris all day. Free humans feel compelled toward positive action because it feels good, not because they feel like they are supposed to. That’s much different than spreading fear or righteousness on social media or serving others simply because you fear judgment.
If you are reading this you likely fall into the privileged category, which means your choices impact not only yourself and those around you but also those in neighboring countries and far-off lands. When you choose to walk the path of self-actualization, the path toward freedom, you are inevitably doing it for the greater good.
Do Those Who Serve Others Have to Sacrifice Joy?
Self-actualized humans don’t shy away from joy so that they can serve others. Self-actualized humans derive joy from acts of service and then spread that joy to others.
So if you have ever felt guilty for not doing enough, know this, you are not yet self-actualized and therefore not a free human…yet. Free humans don’t ruminate over the latest headlines nor do they make themselves feel bad for not saving the world 24/7. They know that steady conscious action is what makes a lasting impact and that impact can only be made if the human is willing to feel compassion for others and excitement for their own lives - at the same time. If that sounds like something you want to activate, keep reading.
The Path to Self-Actualization: Kindling Your Spark
You must not let your spark go out at any cost. That is the work, the ongoing work, forever and ever. Make sure to continue kindling your inner fire so that you can light the path for those around you.
If all you ever do is read the news and come unglued, you aren’t helping the cause, you are helping the cause to perpetuate. If you focus on the things you can control like how you feel from moment to moment, however, and prioritize feeling good in your body and mind, you might still read the news but instead of getting angry or depressed, you might suddenly get an urge to donate some money to a particular cause or feel inspired to rally your friends together and organize a fundraising event. Self-actualization promotes inspired acts of service.
You cannot help anyone when you are feeling stuck. If your physical energy is depleted, if your blood is not circulating properly, or if your digestive system is blocked, you first need to focus on unblocking the physical stickiness you feel in your body before you focus on self-actualizing and certainly before you commit to a cause you care deeply about. Why? Because what you focus on multiplies. If you are a community leader but you cannot get a good night’s rest because you are anxious about the laundry list of things you have to do the next day, you will likely spread toxicity to your community the next day. Don’t burn yourself out for the sake of doing good.
You will always need to maintain a healthy equilibrium before you can self-actualize. It will be a constant work in progress. Some days your body will need more care and devotion, other days your mind. What matters is that you make it a priority and learn to listen to the signals that your body and mind are telling you when you have been running on fumes for too long. If you start to get the warning signs, pump the brakes, and focus on self-work- click the link to learn how to do self-work. Once you’re feeling better, you’ll naturally begin turning outward toward your community and being a pillar of light to those who need your talents. Only then, will you truly be free. Free to serve others and feel joy simultaneously.
It will not be a straightforward path, however. There will likely be many obstacles along the way; distractions, noise, unsolicited advice, opinions, societal conditioning, parental expectations, deprecating advertisements, constructs, and matrices. It’s no wonder that people cling to the comforts of their bubble. It’s safe. But when you begin to self-actualize and seek the path of freedom outside your comfort zone, your world becomes much more interesting. Suddenly you find yourself at the right place at the right time. It doesn’t mean you will never have hardships or be put in stressful situations, it just means that you will have a steady balance as you navigate around or through them. And here’s the best part…the self-trust you cultivate during the self-actualization process will afford you the clarity to untangle any mess and the ability to be fully present in all the joy. Sounds nice, eh?
Do you consider yourself a free human? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments below.
Here's How I've Been Slowly Breaking Free From the Matrix
Lately, I have been reflecting on wealth, success, and what it means to be truly happy. As you probably already know, just because you have wealth and success, doesn’t automatically ensure that you will be happy. Deep down, many of us know that, yet we still get up every day and plug ourselves into the matrix.
We spend the majority of our time working jobs that provide just enough money for us to pay our rent, food, and entertainment.
If we are fortunate to have a job that allows us to sock money away, it’s likely we don’t maximize this opportunity. Instead, we do a little “retail therapy” after work to decompress from the day. “Treat yo-self” becomes the mantra we adopt when we are overworked and unable to access the inherent joy we all deserve.
If we get a raise, instead of stashing it away or investing in our future selves, we incrementally upgrade our lifestyle. First, we start by ordering the avocado toast or overpriced latte because, “YOLO, that’s why!” Then we might take a lease out on a nicer car, and before you know it we are moving to a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood because “well, we deserve it, look how hard we’ve worked!”
I’m guilty of all of the above, yet something just never felt great about riding that capitalist escalator. Some fundamental aspects of my human experience always failed to feel fully nurtured. For as long as I can remember, I‘ve been fed up with the matrix: slaving away for a paycheck and then coming home to numb myself with escapism behaviors until I have to get up and do it all over again? Um, no thank you.
That’s why I have spent the last few years building my life in such a way that I have to depend less and less on the soulless captialist structure. And in this article, I am going to share what I have come up with thus far. I’ll be including different behaviors and philosophies that I have adopted which have contributed to me gaining more freedom in my life.
Why do I care to share? Because let me be perfectly frank, I want more people to play with! Sure I have lots of leisure time, but the people I love and adore most are often too stressed to the bone or have time commitments that don’t allow for the spontaneity of life to flow through them. And so my hope is to inspire others to adopt these habits so that they too can unplug from the matrix and let loose - even just for a little while every week :)
Let’s talk about wealth, baby, let’s talk about you and me.
In order for a single person in the US to be considered “poor”, they must earn $13,590 or below. In Germany, anyone who makes less than €1,148 in net income a month is labeled as such.
While I don’t fall into the poverty category, I do earn much less than those around me.
One friend back home in the US, for example, was recently commenting on how much their partner was earning with a new job.
“65,000? But that’s good money, dude!” I exclaimed.
“No, not really, not in this economy” he replied.
“But I’ve never earned that much in my life!!” I declared emphatically.
“How much do you earn, if you don’t mind me asking?”, he casually countered.
“Less than 30,000 per year. 35k during a good year. It’s not a lot, but I make it work somehow.”
Both of us paused.
“Wow, you do make it work, impressive.”
He was sincere.
From the outside, you would never guess I earned that little.
Why? Not because I carried a Gucci bag — but because I am constantly traveling, I have a VERY flexible work schedule and oh, I don’t lack for nothin’!
Let me explain…
🥬 I still spend money, I just spend it on things I value most. That means I buy high-quality, nutritious, and sustainable food (organic, baby).
✈️ I travel the world (in the last year alone I hiked a mountain in Crete, explored an Italian coastal city, drank the most delicious coffee in Mexico City, took a road trip through California, hugged my bff in Colorado, played zookeeper with my niece and nephews in LA, spent some time admiring my beloved saguaros in the Tucson desert, sat in a Sedona vortex, and watched Frasier in a client’s fancy condo overlooking the space needle in Seattle.)
🧘 I am constantly investing in experiences that promote self-growth, healing, physical or mental health — and pure unadulterated joy.
⏳ Oh and here’s the big one- I only work “part-time”. I freelance and only work between 4-5 hours per day, 4 days a week so I have time to nurture relationships, work out, and practice my hobbies.
Sounds great, right? It is pretty great! But before taking this journey toward freedom, I highly recommend figuring out what you truly value and what makes you happy. Personally, I value time more than money. The freedom to plan my days, weeks, and years is absolutely priceless.
But that might not be the case for you. That’s why you’ll need to figure out your own personal values.
If you’ve been feeling like the “grind” is just not for you for a while. If you have been daydreaming or fantasizing about retiring early. If you have been frustrated with hustle culture or just overall not satisfied with climbing the career ladder, you aren’t crazy.
Let me repeat, you are NOT crazy.
And there is a way to do things differently. I know because I chose that path. And while it isn’t always “easy” I would reckon that it’s a lot more fun.
Not sure if you’re ready to exit the matrix? See if the following statements resonate with you.
I get annoyed when I have to spend time searching for something.
Because I have more time than money I can take my time hunting for the perfect item, flight, or experience. But, I don’t mind. Why? Because the hunt brings me a lot of joy!! If it doesn’t for you, you might not be ready to spread your wings.
I am someone who has to have WHAT I want, exactly WHEN I want it.
Sometimes, oftentimes, there will be delayed gratification. But the good news is that you’ll be leaving space for tiny miracles to be delivered to you - something that is probably even GREATER than what you initially planned for. But if you can’t fathom the uncertainty, you might want to jump back on that capitalist escalator.
I’d rather have more money than time.
Having more time than money doesn’t make you “less wealthy”. It has the potential to enrich your life in the most beautiful way possible. But if you are still focused on the numbers in your bank account, you may not be ready for lift-off.
I would be embarrassed to leave a restaurant if the average meal price was out of my budget. What if my friends called me cheap? GASP!
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I’ve definitely been called cheap a time or two. But I still have no shame leaving a restaurant if the average meal price is more than my budget. I will ALWAYS prioritize spending money on things I value over feeling pressured to keep up with the Joneses.
I have to work hard in order to have an amazing life.
Contrary to popular belief, breaking your back or putting in hours of hard work isn’t the ONLY path towards achieving your wealth desires. In fact, it will likely lead to burnout, physical or mental strain, and relationship breakdowns. Instead, try changing your perspective on what wealth/success means to you. I know that I can feel wealthy despite how much is in my bank account. And you can too.
If you read those statements, however, and were shaking your head NO emphatically — CONGRATS!, this lifestyle just might work for you! It doesn’t work for everyone and that’s perfectly ok, that doesn’t make you superior in any way. What it does make you is courageous. It’s courageous to take this path because it’s by no means the norm. It’s considered risky, naive, and reckless. But that’s ok. As you walk this path, those accusations will sting less and less. And you’ll have plenty of time to write a revenge letter to your biggest enemies whilst overlooking the Costa Rican jungle from your hut’s wooden balcony.
Just kidding, I don’t want you to be fueled by vengeance.
I want you to be fueled by JOY every single day. I want the sun on your face to light the fire in your heart. I want you to be the best absolute version of yourself and experience all that you are meant to experience whilst living in this human body. That’s why I’ve compiled the following tips for more freedom…
My Tips On How to Get By On Less & Simultaneously Live a More Colorful Existence
On food - I eat healthy but simple food. This is WAY more enjoyable to me than indulging in fancy restaurants. I would MUCH rather buy a piece of organic meat and yummy vegetables and cook a delicious meal at home than spend twice or three times that amount “being served” a meal that is highly likely not sustainable or good for my gut.
On cheap flights. Because I don’t have to travel during the normal “holiday” days I can fly off-season, for much cheaper. Just flying a few days before or after a major holiday can save hundreds of dollars. I also put ALL of my expenditures on my Southwest Credit Card. That way whenever I am in the US, I usually fly for free (plus the $5 booking fee.) I can’t recommend taking out a lot of lines of credit with Airlines, because it may impact your credit score overall, but I am guilty of signing up for a few in the past in order to access those 50,000-mile bonuses. Proceed with caution.
On cheap travel accommodation.
Housesitting. I house sit/pet sit in exchange for accommodation (and snuggling a cute critter) using the site TrustedHousesitters.com. Occasionally, I will also watch friends’ houses while they’re away.
Volunteering while traveling in exchange for accommodations. I’ve never actually done this but have always been curious. Here are a few sites I’ve heard about: Workaway & Wwoof.
Staying with family or friends - yes, I realize this is “cheating” a bit because you are essentially relying on accommodations paid for by those still plugged into the matrix, but hey, it works :)
Ask for a discount on Airbnb. Write to the owner and ask if they can make you a special offer. No guarantees, but it has worked for me before!
Go places that are considerably cheaper like Nepal or Nicaragua.
On buying clothes and other stuff. I shop at thrift stores, flea markets, and vintage apps. Or in Berlin, especially, I often find things for free on the street or in neighborhood groups on Facebook. When I buy stuff I try to buy quality stuff that lasts (secondhand preferably) vs new and cheap. But that being said, don’t underestimate those discount stores such as The Dollar Tree. Especially for craft items, or organizational items, these places can help you save a lot of money.
On grocery shopping. I buy organic whenever possible, especially when buying the following items. This is one of my values and is simply non-negotiable. In fact, most of my money goes to food. But that being said, I don’t just buy organic stuff willy-nilly. I pay attention to sales, join loyalty member groups when available, and head to discount grocery stores like Aldi or Grocery Outlet versus more high-end stores. I also HIGHLY recommend making a list and sticking to it. You’ll be surprised at how much less your grocery bill is. And how much less your food waste is. Oh and NEVER shop hungry.
On nonessentials. I propose a work/trade in exchange for services I deem “nonessential” such as massages, courses, and workshops. My most recent nonessential item is for a movement facilitator training in Slovenia in July. I will do a work/trade for part of the cost, and then pay the rest with money. This works especially well if you have a skill such as graphic design, marketing or website design. But there are plenty of options for those with other skills. Book a consultation for a free brainstorming session!
On reading books. I use the free library app called Libby for audiobooks and e-books. All you have to do is pay a 10 Eur yearly fee in Germany, and then you get access to the app. There are others that are available in the US as well. Head to your local library and ask them for details!
On eating out. In the USA especially, portions are HUUUUGE. If you eat the whole plate, you usually leave the restaurant feeling way too stuffed. Instead, bring your own Tupperware and as soon as the food comes out divide that meal in two and set it aside. If you are still hungry when you get home (it’s likely you won’t be) grab a piece of fruit or a healthy snack. If you’re still hungry 30 minutes later, then go ahead and eat the rest of your meal. Spending $20 on dinner is a lot but if you can take the leftovers for lunch tomorrow, it’s not so bad!
On eating out while traveling. When I eat out while traveling, and don’t have a kitchen at the place I am staying, I try to go where locals go. The working class. The taco trucks and the mom-and-pop places are away from tourist destinations. Search Yelp and filter one $ sign + high rating to # of reviews ratio or better - ask a local!
On snacking. Always bring your own snacks, wherever you are going. Again, I have more time than money so it’s easy for me to pack snacks and even light meals if I know I am going to be out and about all day, or during travel days. Don’t depend on the airport to deliver high-quality, nutritious food at a cheap rate, for example. Plan accordingly and your gut (and wallet) will thank you! This is especially true if you have certain allergies or food insensitivities.
On hydrating. I drink a LOT of water. Invest in a reusable water bottle and refill that puppy everywhere. Oh, and don’t order drinks at a restaurant. They are the most marked-up items on the menu and are often just empty calories and sugar. If you’re in the US, you are lucky that water is free, so just drink that. If you want some flavor to ask for a lemon. Boom, vitamin C water! If I am in a country that doesn’t provide free water at a restaurant, I will usually have my water bottle in my bag and if I get thirsty during the meal, will drink it on the sly (or even head to the bathroom so as not to cause a scene). I know this sounds crazy but if I ate out 3 times per week and ordered a $4 beverage every time, that would be over $600 bucks a year!! That’s a PLANE TICKET, PEOPLE!
On fitness and meditation. You probably already know, but there is a HUGE array of options on Youtube. My favorite at the moment is Yoga With Kassandra and Refeel Yoga. Another option is hopping on a relative’s Peloton membership. They are allowed to add up to 10 friends and then you have access to all of their classes via the App (again - this might be considered cheating, but one thing you’ll have to learn about this lifestyle is not to have any shame about the choices you’re making as long as you aren’t hurting anyone in the process.) I also LOVE walking and biking. Again, because I have more time in my day, I can plan to commute on foot which is a built-in fitness program. Oh and for meditation, check out Insight Timer. They have loads of free meditations.
So there you have it. Sure, I might only make 30k a year (a far cry from being “wealthy”) but I certainly don’t feel poor.
I have ZERO debt - no mortgage, car payment, credit card debt or student loan debt dragging me down.
I get to “slow” travel the world.I nourish my body with healthy foods and move it regularly.
I don’t have to “go to” work and when I do work, I don’t work that much (4-5 hours a day max). That means I have a lot of time to develop my hobbies and invest in my relationships. If I have an appointment or want to take a few days off I have the flexibility to switch my working hours around.
Instead of breaking my back to buy the things I think I need, I spend most of my money on experiences that I suspect will bring me joy. Any joy you might get from purchasing a new toy whether it be a snazzy pair of boots or a kitchen gadget will likely be short-lived. A dopamine hit, that’s it. Instead, spend money on things you value and experiences that will nourish your need for connection and joy.